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This week, Schlocktober travels way, way east and way, way weird to bring back a seldom-seen 1978 Taiwanese action/adventure/witchcraft/monster/fairytale/romance, War of the Wizards, about a humble fisherman who finds a magic wishing bowl that makes him rich but loses it when the sexy ninja sisters he marries turn out to be thieves enslaved to a shape-shifting witch queen who seeks the bowl for herself. This in turn forces him on a quest with a giant bird to earn special fighting skills and a magic sword from a mountain wizard to defeat the witch and save his brides… You know, that old story.

This is The Big Picture with Bob Chipman, talking about War of the Wizards.

Bob Chipman
Bob Chipman is a critic and author.

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    28 Comments

    1. Bob, thanks again for finding these weird and awesome movies to show us for our amusement and cultural enrichment. Funniest part was the succession of would-be assassins killing each other over the newly rich doofus. Can’t wait for next week!

    2. I’ve learned something about world history today as well as international cinema. And I got to watch something akin to Taiwanese Monty Puthon sketch with those assassins getting killed off one by one. So all in all, this was worth the wait.

      1. Monty Python is EXACTLY what I thought of when I saw that. Specifically the “Fair Cop” (maybe not the actual name) sketch.

        1. You’re thinking of the ending to the Argument Sketch.

          1. You’re absolutely right. Thanks!

          2. No they’re not.

            1. I’m sorry, but I won’t continue this unless you pay for the full ten minutes.

      2. I learned Bob is a pig who salivates constantly for girl on girl action.

        Ah just kidding we’ve all known that for awhile. 😉

        Seriously though, great review Bob. Never seen this one and it looks really fun!

        1. How did we find hos one weakness, hot ninja sisters…

        2. It’s always fun when Bob actually doesn’t try to act like some white knight woke-ass bitch.

          And yes, this movie is a lot of fun find it and check it out. If you have prime it is one of the included movies.

    3. I saw this and thought “What dark corner of the internet am I going to have to go to find it?” Then was happy to find that its on Amazon Prime

      https://www.amazon.com/War-Wizards-Hsiu-Shen-Liang/dp/B075FDFGX4

      1. Wow! And, to think, my dad uses Amazon Prime to find episodes of the Bowery Boys and old westerns.

      2. Wow Prime really does have such interesting titles.

    4. Glorious. The only word I can use to describe all of that. Glorious.

    5. Verdict: what the FUCK did we just watch? Sometimes you find a masterpiece

    6. *Says he kills without leaving a trace*

      *Leaves two palm shaped traces on the guy he just killed*

      Beautiful!

      1. He probably saw his chance for a stylish opening and didn’t take time to grab a napkin.
        “The method kills without a trace…. But soy sauce does not and I am a messy eater.”

    7. There’s usually one movie that makes me laugh during Shlocktober. And this is this year’s one. Makes me think of Street Fighter with Raul Julia. Over the top and campy but also absolutely memorable even if you don’t know what the hell was going on during it.

      OF COURSE!

    8. I’m curious about the Mortal Kombat tribute from Guam.

      1. Ghana I think…not gaum but either way it looked solid.

    9. While there is not a lot of info on the web currently, this is the sort of, “Hey, look at this thing I found” internet video that gets the ball rolling.
      This thing will end up with a blu-ray release in 2021 next to “Chopping Mall” and “Death Spa”.

    10. I don’t know if Bob shows up in these comments, but now I’m really wanting to know what are his favourite movies from my lovely country of Brasil.

      I got a feeling he likes Zé do Caixão (Coffin Joe), but that’s probably obvious, and I was wondering what else.

      Great candidate for Schlocktober by the way.

    11. I wouldn’t mind seeing a panel of Bob and fellow Internet reviewers where they riff on War of the Wizards live.

    12. Sometimes I wonder if these “translations” are remotely the movie the original audience saw. Not just the cultural symbolism being lost on us, but “did they just make their own movie, Samurai Pizza Cat style”?

    13. I actually grow up with this kind of movie since people in my country ( Vietnam) love them (we was pretty close to Taiwan and have pretty similar culture). Chinese mythology don’t really have a supreme deity. The heaven is styled after the Imperial Palace with the Jade Emperor as the head of and work like a government. However the Jade emperor isn’t the most powerful being, he just the Emperor.

    14. Wait, what was even going on at the end of the movie?

    15. For some reason Chinese stories love making the main character a jerk,
      don’t know if it’s the same for Taiwanese stories. Source: The bits of Journey to
      the West I know and a bunch of fan translated Chinese web novels.

    16. Bob, can you please stop doing that “lesbians are hot” bit? It’s gross and fetishizing, and kind of makes your supposed support for the LGBT+ community ring kinda hollow.

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