Stuff you thought when you were a Kid

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Carrots would help you see in the dark. I remember sitting there in utter amusement when my eyes adjusted to the darkness before bed and being sure I'd be able to see in the dark like an animal one day.

Oh and the whole "you'll drown and get sucked up into the plughole if you don't get out of the bath" thing.

I used to think that God started everything by putting lots of mothers with babies, into modern day houses and that everything was orange because he hadn't gotten around to making proper color yet

Screamarie:

I thought that both girls and boys had a penis

same here I think I was in 5th grade when I learn about sex and difference between men and women. I saw my first naked women in a medical text book(it was a drawing)

LilithSlave:

Tsekatsu:
I thought the past was in black and white.

Yep. I knew it was common.

I used to think this when I was about 5 as well. XD I'm amazed how many other people here drew the same conclusion.

UncleUlty:
I thought that the people on TV could see me while they were acting, so I never changed clothes in front of the TV

I used to do this but with posters :P I also used to run and leap onto my bed because I was convinced if I just walked normally a monster would would grab my legs and drag me under the bed....not sure why, my bed had a tonne of boxes under it - no room for a monster ;)

I used to think "operates standing by" meant they where outside my window waiting for me to call the number to order something

I thought that people have babies for simply being around each other for a really long time. Doesn't really make sense now that I think about it now.

And I also thought through playing Crash Bandicoot 2, that "enemies" were all creatures that moved back and forth in a straight line.

Well I made up that it was perfectly fine wearing a cap when you go to bed (well ok that is still ok that is if you want very greasy hair the next day). I was at ends with my bro back then since I was fed up that he was always right and I want to prove to him that for once I was right!

Freak that I am, I don't remember any stupid things I thought as a child. I remember a lot of things I didn't understand, at least, I remember figuring them out in hindsight when I was in my early teens. Probably do to my incredibly poor memory, I just don't remember anything.

I used to think that there were things hiding in the dark waiting to get me.
Now I know there are...
*Goes away and huddles up in a corner*

I remember being 4 years old in the car with my mum convinced that the moon was following us because it looked like it was moving as we were driving and stopping when we stopped etc. When I pointed it out, my mum tried to explain it but I wasn't having any of it. I was completely convinced I was being stalked by the moon.

Elementary - Dear Watson:
I thought that my stuffed toys on my bed at night moved when I was asleep, because they would sometimes be in different positions when I woke up... like neatly aranged in the corner by the wall, or all over the bed in what looked like some sort of scene...

It was years before I found out that I moved them in my sleep... (found that out the night I went to bed with a penknife on the bedside table, and woke up with what is now a scar on my stomach... :S)

Wow... that's creepy.

And I won't be sharing my old misconceptions. Because they reflect poorly on me. Why yes, I am paranoid. Good day.

I'm reading these with a faint smile on my face, because I don't think I ever thought any of those things. I had an obsession with space since I saw starwars, at 8 years old I believe, and with the sea after that. Romans after that, and an ant once wanted to give me something that might also appeal to future interests. so she bought me a childrens encyclopedia. I read it in a week (it had a lot of pictures, and it was pretty small). I don't think I could have had strange ideas since then.

Or maybe I don't remember the strange ideas I had when i was even younger. I'll kee in touch.

LilithSlave:
This was a common one.

I think color didn't exist in the world until it was invented on the televisions.

I kept feeling sorry for people who lived long ago. Because they didn't have color.

I remember thinking the same thing, however my Granny set me straight on that one while we were watching Nick at Night.

I remember thinking pregnancy just...happened.

I used to think people only lived for a 100 days. Needless to say I thought 100 was a huge number. I have no idea why I thought that.

For a long time I thought snow came from the rings of Saturnus.
A teacher told my class that. She apparently didn't know six year olds(might've been five) doesn't really get sarcasm.

LilithSlave:
This was a common one.

I think color didn't exist in the world until it was invented on the televisions.

I kept feeling sorry for people who lived long ago. Because they didn't have color.

Yeah I thought that too. All those black and white movies are to blame for that. :P

LilithSlave:

Tsekatsu:
I thought the past was in black and white.

Yep. I knew it was common.

Our generation, or rather, a couple generations possibly, sure had a funny sensation.

I've got a one-up on that - I can only remember my oldest memories in black and white. Yeah, it's odd.
I also got the words 'terrorist' and 'tourist' mixed up. That led to some interesting situations.

Elementary - Dear Watson:
I thought that my stuffed toys on my bed at night moved when I was asleep, because they would sometimes be in different positions when I woke up... like neatly aranged in the corner by the wall, or all over the bed in what looked like some sort of scene...

It was years before I found out that I moved them in my sleep... (found that out the night I went to bed with a penknife on the bedside table, and woke up with what is now a scar on my stomach... :S)

I had the same thing. Put my pen knife on my bedside table. Woke up, and it was on my bare belly, blade out.

Didn't hurt myself, though.

My grand-dad convinced me he was the strongest man in the world, and proceeded to let me beat him at arm wrestling.

The next school day was not pleasant.

Fat worms were deadly, even to touch. No i didn't join in with the gardening when young >.<

Gammayun:

Oh and i was afraid of pools in the dark because it might have a whale in it, and it might eat me. Yeah another weird one and to this day i find whales creepy.

image

He's sneaking up on you.

OT: I thought that if you put a glass bowl or a helmet over your head, you'd be able to breathe underwater forever. Years later I understand that Oxygen is being changed to Carbon Dioxide when you exhale.

I also thought that I could use a plastic bag as a parachute, as mentioned above.

I thought there was always something hiding in my closet wiating to get me in the dark when I was alone, and so I'd always close the closet door before I went to bed, and sometimes wake my mom up and ask her to come sleep in my room with me. Now I understand the only real monsters are other human beings.

Tsekatsu:
and I thought that tacos used to make you walk bow legged. Don't ask me how I came to that conclusion because I honestly don't know.

That's an easy one. Mexican food=Burning anus.

Binnsyboy:

I had the same thing. Put my pen knife on my bedside table. Woke up, and it was on my bare belly, blade out.

Didn't hurt myself, though.

My grand-dad convinced me he was the strongest man in the world, and proceeded to let me beat him at arm wrestling.

The next school day was not pleasant.

Wow... didn't think i'd ever find someone with the same experience! It's strange! I wonder why we went for the bellies?

I have learnt since that I will only usually touch things within arms reach of the bed... saying that I have had sleep sex, that involved me getting a condom out of a drawer across the room, and apply it correctly, which I did...! :|

And wow! I bet that was an unpleasant day! You didn't go around challenging people did you?

DanielBrown:
For a long time I thought snow came from the rings of Saturnus.
A teacher told my class that. She apparently didn't know six year olds(might've been five) doesn't really get sarcasm.

I think I'll throw in a competing anecdote for dumbest teacher on the face of the earth, thanks.

A supply teacher I had when I was five. She was reading out the register, and had the strangest fumble when she got to my name.

"Charlie, Jamie, Jordan, Jah-cuh-cuh" (trying to pronounce Jack, pronounced the C and K as individual syllables).

I genuinely have no idea how someone can go through life not meeting someone called Jack, and not understanding basic fucking spelling. And that this woman was allowed near children in an educational capacity!

OT: I used to think that if someone was talking over the teacher, while everyone else couldn't hear what was being said, the person talking over could perfectly.

Gammayun:

Ok this one is a little more weird, I would hover over the loo because i was afraid a vampire might come out of it.

W, why would a vampire live in your toilet? Oh children are so silly!

I used to think there was an american indian camp behind the indian takeaway shop.

I wish I was kidding.

Elementary - Dear Watson:

Binnsyboy:

I had the same thing. Put my pen knife on my bedside table. Woke up, and it was on my bare belly, blade out.

Didn't hurt myself, though.

My grand-dad convinced me he was the strongest man in the world, and proceeded to let me beat him at arm wrestling.

The next school day was not pleasant.

Wow... didn't think i'd ever find someone with the same experience! It's strange! I wonder why we went for the bellies?

I have learnt since that I will only usually touch things within arms reach of the bed... saying that I have had sleep sex, that involved me getting a condom out of a drawer across the room, and apply it correctly, which I did...! :|

And wow! I bet that was an unpleasant day! You didn't go around challenging people did you?

Yep. Lost every single time :D

and what did your significant other say about your attempt at some comatose action?

I didn't think women were allowed to smoke, and I didn't think adults could cry. I also questioned the existence of people on TV.

The first two have been proven wrong. I remain skeptical on the latter.

Binnsyboy:

DanielBrown:
For a long time I thought snow came from the rings of Saturnus.
A teacher told my class that. She apparently didn't know six year olds(might've been five) doesn't really get sarcasm.

I think I'll throw in a competing anecdote for dumbest teacher on the face of the earth, thanks.

Challenge accepted.

I had a royal bitch of an old hag as a replacement teacher for a few months when I was about 10; I remember someone asking her why sheep had wool (no idea why they asked it), to which she replied, "because God made them that way". Then she stood up and walked off.

I thought that traffic tickets you get allowed you to see a play.

I also thought that there were sentient beings living in the center of the earth that had their own society.

Gammayun:

krazykidd:
I thought when actors ( i knew they were act ) on tv died , they died for real . So i thought that when some guy got shot and died , he was asked before lhand if he wanted to die and he said yes .

Edit: so basically i was always afraid of watching a tv show where someone died ( my mom watches soap operas like crazy) i thought i was witnessing an actual murder.

Wow that is pretty bad, I have to say i feel really sorry for you. Must of traumatized you a fair bit.

I had the same notion with Godzilla. I thought that every time I watched a Godzilla movie, that he would actually go and destroy Tokyo; and they just rebuilt the whole city before I could watch it again.

And speaking of Godzilla, I thought the sole purpose of the military was to beat that over grown lizard this is going to make my day.

Man, I miss being 4...

I used to think that, when playing a game with AI, that the developers actually employed people to play the game with you, specifically, which is why they all had the same names in-game each time.

I had this notion that running and falling and scraping your knee was something every kid did once and never again, like the chickenpox.

also, I thought that tonsilitus meant you had a tornado in your throat, the swedish name for it kind of sounds like tornado :P

Binnsyboy:

Yep. Lost every single time :D

and what did your significant other say about your attempt at some comatose action?

Well I woke up half way through, very confused... I had aparently woken her up, she said after that I initiated it... but all I remember is waking up half way through... pretty decent feeling though... felt damn refreshed in the morning! :P

"Weed is bad!"

Oh how silly I was back then.

I was once watching a certain James Bond film with my dad. It had just reached a point in the movie where James Bond swapped his wallet with somone he had just killed to make a third party think he was dead.
At this point I noticed the actor of Mr. Bond was different to what I was used to and said to my dad,
"That's not James Bond."
To which he responded,
"No, they swapped wallets."

I spent the next 5 or so years believing that you could swap lives with somebody, simply by swapping wallets with them.

I thought Jesus was a really poor bloke who still managed to get a lot done in the few months between christmas and easter he lived...

Needless to say I found christianity quite wierd bach then. I guess some things doesn't change.

Captcha: have fun , sure thing I will

I used to think that urinals were weird sinks. I never washed my hands in a urinal though, because I didn't wash my hands when I was that age (I know better now, honest).
I also thought that all the dinosaurs lived underground. I was kinda right.
And finally, I thought that if I didn't sleep with the covers all the way up or if I put my arm or leg above them that a bunch of guys with hoods would know I was awake and kill me. I still don't like going above the covers to this day.

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