Name a personal Epic Fail.

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When I was younger, being the lil whippersnapper that I was, I ran full speed into some french doors that I thought were open.

Out on a camping trip and cooking some delicious bacon on a griddle, completely forget that I'm cooking it and wander off to do something. I come back to a grease fire, after an "oh shit" moment I put it out, and am left with nothing but a pile of black ash that used to be bacon.

Oh that's easy. I was in love, was given my chance, and chickened out. I've said and done some phenomenally dumb things in my time, but to this day that is my only true regret.

Pffft beats me. I'm not sure if I've ever done an epic fail of epic proportions.

I'll get back to you on that one, if I can think of any.

Edit: Got one! My most embarrassing and stupid moment ever, by a long shot.
See what I share with you people? You should be grateful ;)

Right, I was with my mates in a supermarket grabbing a load of junk-food to take to the cinema, and I wasn't paying much attention to anything at all. I think I was 16 at the time. Well, whilst I was putting my stuff through the checkout I noticed this shaggy-dressed woman hovering around watching me.

Well, after half of my crap had gone through the till she waltzes over and starts grabbing my stuff and bundling it into some carrier bags with haste. Now I was highly confused. What was this mad woman doing with my stuff? Why does nobody notice what's going on here?

Well, after she'd grabbed and bagged most of my stuff, I turned to her, grabbed the bag and said (quite loudly): "Excuse me. That's MY stuff."

She looks at me awe and states: "*Ah! *chuckles* I'm just a charity bag packer!" before laughing some more to the hysterics of my friends. I mutter out an apology and walk out of the shop with my head bowed in shame.

I had died a little inside. It was my most stupid moment ever and I generally like to think of myself as not as stupid person. I know these people exist, I've seen them before, yet right at that moment my brain seemed to be away on holiday. She'd jut finished packing the bags of the friend before me and others were stood at the ends of each till up and down the shop doing the same thing. Such an embarrassing story. I'd all but erased it from memory.

I accidentally walked into the ladies' bathroom once. In my defense, I had my nose buried in a book at the time. Didn't make it any less humiliating, though.

Well i'd say it was that one time in highschool when i proudly handed over my exam as first one and than when walking back to get my stuff back i looked at other students copies and noticed something: i forgot there were questions on the backsides.
On a bright side the teacher allowed me to take my exam back and fill in what i forgot to, but she could have just told me to bugger off.

An other one was on a highschool trip and after drinking a bit too much i decided it was a good plan to puke out of the balcony instead of taking the bathroom. Our room was at the top floor of the hotel... (Yes i hit them all on the way down). Needless to say even the teachers made jokes about it. "Are you gonna be all right on the boat?" one asked with an ironic tone.

I barber chaired a tree i was falling once.

that count ? since if it rolled the other way i'd have been hurt or killed

The word is "failure", not "fail". Why the fuck do people harp on others for spelling the wrong "your" but no one seems to give a shit about this? The internet's collective abuse of the word "fail" bugs the living hell out of me.

Also, the word "epic" has lost all of it's meaning thanks to the internet. But I digress.

My biggest FAILURE can be described in the following steps:

1. Procrastinate to RIDICULOUS levels by ignoring a final paper for about a month.
2. Stay up all night (literally-ALL night) writing said final paper the night before it is due.
3. Find out that the teacher has given an extension on the due date, so that the paper is now due one day later.
4. Sleep through the deadline the next day and fail the class.

Yeah. I don't have a whole lot else to say about that one. Not exactly my proudest moment. I also failed two other finals (one of which I slept through) because of the whole self-induced cluster-fuck.

EDIT: Why the HELL is a captcha that is CLEARLY a URL case-sensitive? URLS AREN'T EVEN CASE-SENSITIVE. Also, why is trying to convince me that I have shingles?

One time, I unknowingly walked into the lady's bathroom. There was no one in there at the time, so I went over to a stall and did my business. While I was in there, I heard some voices, FEMALE voices. At the time, I was confused, I said "Uh, this is the men's bathroom."

I was then told: "No, this is the women's bathroom"

As I was walking out, I suddenly noticed the lack of urinals. I realized my stupid mistake, apologized, and slipped away.

When I was 15 and just starting to appreciate ladies and their curves, I was checking one out at the video store. You know those machines you walk through that detect if you stole something? The giant 2 inch thick wooden ones? Ya I totally plowed right into one knocking myself right on my ass. Considering even at 15 I was 5'10 I'm certain she noticed it. Toot toot all aboard the USS fail boat.

I picked badly when I went to college. Hated my course, hated most of the people in my college, got depressed then I dropped out. Dropping out wasn't the fail, that was the best thing I've ever done, going to college was the mistake.

On a lighter note I was once walking down the street while a gorgeous blonde with perfect tits in a tight white t-shirt was walking towards me. She spilled something on her shirt and started rubbing her boob. I got distracted watching this as she walked by, turning my head to watch and walked headlong into a lamppost and fell flat on my back.

My first girlfriend has now had all 4 of my best friends inside her. My choice in partners has improved since then... Except when I slept with her a few weeks ago.

pointless vandalism:
When I was 15 and just starting to appreciate ladies and their curves, I was checking one out at the video store. You know those machines you walk through that detect if you stole something? The giant 2 inch thick wooden ones? Ya I totally plowed right into one knocking myself right on my ass. Considering even at 15 I was 5'10 I'm certain she noticed it. Toot toot all aboard the USS fail boat.

If it helps, the similar story I just told happened to me when I was 20.

Super glue. Toilets. Supermarket.

Yeah.

i was drunk after new years, and my girlfriend poured me a glass of apple juice.
it was piss.
i don't know how it happened, but somebody took our apple juice and pissed in the jug. many times.
the worst part about it was that i didnt notice until i went to get my second glass. now on top of the hangover i had an hour of gargling mouthwash as a result of my huge party. of what i hear though, people say it was the best party of 2012!

Copper Zen:
After years of struggle I'm finally getting my life turned around and am feeling positive for the first time in a long time.

Despite this being a thread about epic fails, I have to say, just for that bit I've quoted - congrats. Conquering depression is an incredible feat. So I hope the positivity just keeps comin'.

OT: not too many epic fails in my life. My minor fails include:

- Giving myself a second degree burn while baking brownies (I've still got the scar)
- Turning a 15-minute drive back from a movie theater into an accidental jaunt across state lines
- Knocking the side-view mirror off of my driver's ed car (and yes, the driver's ed instructor was in the car at the time) by running into a mailbox (a mailbox that happened to belong to the star quarterback of my local NFL team)

Yes. So all my fails happen to be funny.

Blood Brain Barrier:

If that's true, and you really are superman enough to everything at once, then you can finish your degree now. So do it, instead of posting your depressing regrets on a forum.

You didn't read my post closely. Too much time passed. 10 years. The credits are defunct.

And I'm hardly obliging you to read any of this :) I actually feel peppy because I've gotten past that. And others here have posted identical school and related financial problems. If our stories trouble you the Games Forum is a fine place to have fun.

This one was not my fault, just putting that out there.

I have crohn's disease and was dealing with a pretty bad flare up for the past 4 months. The medication wasn't helping and I got a ct scan to see what was up. They said they found an abscess which are caused by fistulas so I need surgery to get it all out. Fast foreword to last week, it's been almost 2 months since the surgery and we finally get the piece of paper that tells us what they did and we go over it with my GI. We read the paper and see a lack of the words fistula and instead see the words acute appendicitis.... Turns out my crohns disease is quite mild and instead have been mostly dealing with appendicitis for over 4 months. I didn't even know that was possible. If they knew that I would have had surgery ASAP instead of waiting all those months for my turn. I mean luckily it didn't rupture but don't people die from that?

Quaxar:
I once confused Beowulf with Canterbury Tales. I think that is the definition of epic fail.

Actually yeah, confusing two poems of the epic genre would be a most literal epic fail.

Copper Zen:

Blood Brain Barrier:

If that's true, and you really are superman enough to everything at once, then you can finish your degree now. So do it, instead of posting your depressing regrets on a forum.

You didn't read my post closely. Too much time passed. 10 years. The credits are defunct.

And I'm hardly obliging you to read any of this :) I actually feel peppy because I've gotten past that. And others here have posted identical school and related financial problems. If our stories trouble you the Games Forum is a fine place to have fun.

They don't trouble me. I have similar "school problems", quitting a PhD due to a series of illnesses. But I don't consider that an epic fail (anymore) for a number of reasons which I won't go into because that's obviously not what this thread is about. Anyway, glad to hear you've gotten past it.

Mine happened a few days ago, actually. I backed the car into the driveway, turned it off, and went to take my key out of the ignition. It wouldn't budge. Of course, being the sensible, level-headed, logical thinker that I am, I went one hundred percent bat-guano crazy. I almost broke the key jiggling it, tried to move some wires under the dashboard, applied and released the parking brake numerous times, and tried a bunch of other stuff that didn't work. Eventually I gave up and just leaned back with my head in my hands, thinking I had broken the car forever.

Turns out I forgot to put it in park. A quick tap of the gearshift and the key slid out like butter. Made me red in the face for certain.

Eleuthera:
The most painfull was probably as a kid, when I wanted to see if the carlighter was actually hot, so I pushed in into my thumb.

I also may have, kinda sorta done this exact same thing

EDIT: Oh when I was in kindergarden(first level of school 4-5 years old) I licked a metal pole and got my tongue stuck to it

Lunar Templar:
I barber chaired a tree i was falling once.

I'm not sure what that means...
Anyway.
I was playing Chino in a my high school production of West Side Story which ends with me shooting Tony, right?
We didn't have any decent sound effects or anything so I was just supposed to synch my kickback action (like if I had actually fired a gun) with the sound of our drummer hitting the snare. To synch it up right, I told him I would bring the gun up, cock it, (or rather pretend to cock it) and when I brought it down, fire. When it came time to actually do that, I totally forgot the cocking part so I just fired and NOTHING HAPPENED. To make things worse, instead of playing it off like the gun had jammed or something (you know, do something I SHOULD HAVE DONE) I just gave the drummer a disappointed look (COMPLETELY BREAKING CHARACTER) then figured, "Well, let's just try again". Bang. Final Scene. Done.
I didn't sleep that night, I cannot stress how hard I come down on myself when I make a mistake like that.

Lunar Templar:
I barber chaired a tree i was falling once.

that count ? since if it rolled the other way i'd have been hurt or killed

What does 'barber chaired a tree' mean? I'm guessing that 'falling' means you were cutting it down? Sorry if I'm unfamiliar with the slang. :(

Copper Zen:

Lunar Templar:
I barber chaired a tree i was falling once.

that count ? since if it rolled the other way i'd have been hurt or killed

What does 'barber chaired a tree' mean? I'm guessing that 'falling' means you were cutting it down? Sorry if I'm unfamiliar with the slang. :(

not surprised, yo kinda have to be around loggers to hear it

image
i was falling the tree (cutting it down) and it did that. not good, and it can kill you

guidance:
I mean luckily it didn't rupture but don't people die from that?

Yup.

From Wikipedia:

"Untreated, mortality is high, mainly because of the risk of rupture leading to infection and inflammation of the intestinal lining (perionteum) and eventual sepsis, clinically known as peritonitis which can lead to circulatory shock."

For your peace of mind a ruptured appendix isn't the 'death sentence' it used to be.

Medical misdiagnoses for those who are ailing are everyone's worst nightmare. You know what they say: Medical students kill an average of 3 patients while studying to become doctors.

The biggest fail I've done (so far...) happened summer of 2011. I was painting pipes out in an oil field when I got to a pipe about 10' above the ground. So far everything is pretty routine, I just grab a nearby ladder and set it up. The problem was that there was a raised area below the pipe, so that the left leg of the ladder was 6" off the ground. My genius solution was to put the ladder on the closest flat ground to the pipe! which means that the ladder is now set up at a 45 degree angle. When I climbed up and started painting the ladder inevitably slipped, and my thumb got pinched between the rung I was holding and a washer on the pipe. Took out a chunk of my thumb at the base of the nail (I got lucky with a glancing hit, a direct one might have cost me much more). Fortunately the worst damage was to the nail bed, so the only lasting damage is that my nail doesn't grow properly

Sliding across a wet wooden panel only to faceplant and bruise the right side of my face. One of many fails, including falling off of a trampoline and splitting my face open when I was five, getting a thorn in my eye (which was dealt with, it was just painful), being bitten by a horse on the middle finger and breaking my arm falling down a hill at school.

Yeah...

I'm pretty clumsy.

shrekfan246:
Well, I'm in love with someone who currently doesn't even live in the same country as me. Does that count?

image

Except, on a way smaller scale.

I have a severe stuttering problem, especially in front of crowds. I also have a pretty bad memory problems, making it difficult for me to remember specific words. In my high school English class we had to memorize and perform a scene from Hamlet. Between my performance issues, the fact that I got one of the longest monologues in the play, and the fact that I was following the best group in the class, all I can say is that "Epic Fail" doesn't even begin to describe it. Over this excruciating minute and a half of stuttering, I could visibly see the anguish that the audience was feeling on their faces. I can only imagine what I looked like.

I was playing my psp in the dark to keep the game atmospheric, it was a story-based Jrpg (Legend of heroes: trails in the sky) so I liked the immersion factor of playing in darkness with earphones on. The psp needed to be charged and being in a new place at the time I was just splayed out on the floor in a futon-style floor mattress so the charger and every other thing was basically in the same height level. I get the charger to maneuver to my comfortable position and I connect it to the psp, eventually I go to grab a drink of water from a near-full glass I had nearby and what do I see. The electric current transmuter box of the psp charger (this square box that has the cable that goes to the plug on one side and the one that goes in the psp on the other) was fully submerged into the water of my glass. It must have stayed there for at LEAST 5 minutes. Having earphones on as I pulled the cables closer to my position I didn't even notice it and it's a miracle I didn't get electrocuted since I kinda felt for it at first, not knowing what was that odd plastic material inside the water.

I freaked as soon as I realized it, took it out of the psp and then unplugged it carefully, then proceeded to shake it furiously and there was just...so much water coming out of it. It somehow was NOT ruined by it's dive though. After a couple of days of letting it dry completely it still worked fine and it has done that to this day!

As a cook, I naturally fear kitchen related disasters. I was also "blessed" with one of those naggy moms that never lets you forget that you made a mistake, ever.

I once made a chicken enchilada casserole with flour tortillas instead of corn tostadas or tortilla chips. The end result was that it turned into a giant chicken dumpling. My family HATES dumplings. That was 3 years ago; mom still likes to joke about it.

likalaruku:
As a cook, I naturally fear kitchen related disasters. I was also "blessed" with one of those naggy moms that never lets you forget that you made a mistake, ever.

I once made a chicken enchilada casserole with flour tortillas instead of corn tostadas or tortilla chips. The end result was that it turned into a giant chicken dumpling. My family HATES dumplings. That was 3 years ago; mom still likes to joke about it.

I can totally understand your situation, and have a couple kitchen disasters to my name as well. My mom, however, stopped being so critical after she baked a potholder into the christmas stuffing...

I don't let any of my past fails linger, because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn'it, people want to fuck me.

Ever since I was like 11 I've been into computers. I like building them, programming them, and just spending time on them. So why did I go to college for criminal justice? 4 and a half years later I'm sitting here with a degree in a field that I want nothing to do with simply because I didnt want to take any math classes that a computer science degree entailed. Funny part is, when I was at university I barely passed the majority of my CJ classes, but my core math classes? Got A's.

When I was in London on my way to the I tripped on a higher part of the sidewalk and fractured my wrist. Yeah, kind of embarrassing.
Another thing in a similar vein was this one time in a cabin at Christmas. I went to a sauna, and when I came out, I was quite dizzy, and then I fell over and cut my chin in a nearby windowsill. I still have the scar.

likalaruku:
As a cook, I naturally fear kitchen related disasters. I was also "blessed" with one of those naggy moms that never lets you forget that you made a mistake, ever.

I once made a chicken enchilada casserole with flour tortillas instead of corn tostadas or tortilla chips. The end result was that it turned into a giant chicken dumpling. My family HATES dumplings. That was 3 years ago; mom still likes to joke about it.

What is it about dumplings that they hate? They tend to be really awesome, especially those asian soup-dumplings.

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