Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted, but their arms are too short to really be much use.

I wish for a popcorn making machine!

Granted, but it only works when you are in the bathtub.

I wish for less sadness :(

Granted. Everyone but you will never be sad again.

I wish I understood...well...everything.

Granted, your mind explodes with the info.

I wish I had a Scyther.

Granted, just have fun managing the guy without a Pokeball.

I wish I could fall and miss the ground.

Granted. You miss the ground because Earth is now gone, and since you are in space now, you die from the vacuum.

Granted, whatever you invisible wish is. Oh sorry, I'm mistaken. Whatever you wished for is now given to someone else with full immunity from any disasters whatsoever. Including lack of logic.

I wish to hack into Congress for the lulz. Wait, someone else took that role. I instead wish to be a grand master in chess.

Granted you are now the worlds leading expert on the musical Chess.

I wish music was better these days.

Granted, because it already is, as far as the current generation is concerned.

I wish for big muscles.

Granted, but in order to maintain them you must constantly abuse steroids and now don't have the time for anything but exercise. The steroids also make you impotent.

I wish for a quick death.

Granted! On the universal time scale, 3 million years in agony is just a blink of an eye!

I wish for

Granted, but not to you. Articulate properly next time.

I wish for free Internet on my phone!

Granted but your battery life now only lasts for 2 minutes.

I wish for PM's.

Granted. Enjoy the spambots.

I wish that I could end the world.

Granted but you become so in love with the world that you never use this ability.

I wish for a Latin dance party.

Granted. You are sent back in time to said party and you can never return.

I wish for a clean bill of health!

Granted the bill is for Three thousand dollars.

I wish people where less whiny.

Now you're the whiny one.

I wish for more genius people.

Granted, but in order to balance the offset, there are no more "inbetween" levels of knowledge. You are either a genius or incredibly dense.

I wish for the ability to switch between realities of real life and video games.

I wish for kittens. ^.^

Granted.
Here's a bowl of kitten chow mein.
image

I wish it would stop raining.

I wish for puppies, living puppies! The cute and fuzzy kind! ^.^

Granted. All your friends and family members are now puppies living in your house.

I wish for pie.

Granted, but your request was so generic you commit suicide from the guilt.

I wish for EA to no be the worst thing ever.

Granted. They buy out all of the developers that you like and disband them by force.

I wish to yell at Valve.

Granted but all it does is hurt their feelings and makes them push Half-life 3 back further and there are some pretty pissed fanboys wanting meet you.

I wish for a quiet day.

You are now permanently deaf.

I wish to breathe underwater.

Granted. Good luck living as a tuna.

I wish for the best birthday party eva!

Granted it's so good that every year after becomes more and more unfulfilling and hollow.

I wish Music had a bigger effect on the world.

Granted. All the trolls are invited to ruin the birthday party as the party isn't for you.

I wish for cake, lots of it!

(Ninja'd I see. I guess I will just grant both wishes)
@Dr.Susse Granted. Music takes place of religon and many bloody wars are fought because of it.

@thesilentman Granted. Everything you taste from now on will taste like cake and nothing else.

I wish to control time!

Granted here's a watch.
You can set it to what ever time you need.

I wish I could change my username again.

Granted. Now enjoy being locked out of the Escapist.

I wish I could stave off insomnia.

I wish for less wishes.

Granted! *Cuts off your tongue* Now you enjoy being tongueless! >:D

I wish for a wish granting kitty. :3

Captcha:"I'm.... Blushing..." O_o On second thought, I wish Captcha would stop hitting on me! T_T

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