Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"Hey, we're both engineers. Sorta. Well, I was."

"Good times."

"Before Tony fucking Stark tried to murder us."

"I suppose you do sweat a lot..."

"Good times."

You flick on the lights.

image

"Well Gentlemen, looks like we've found us a few snoops."

captcha: murphy's law

"My perspiration is under control dickweed."

I point my gun at the gangsters. "Where's the door."

"Oh. My. God! Are you guys like, old american Gangsters?"

I point my gun at what I'm fairly certain are the gangsters.

"What the hot one said. I mean-fuck."

I hand Salt a towel, and turn to the men in trench coats.
"Waaaaa? Snooping? Us? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHnooooooooooo we're your pedicure team. You did book an appointment, right?"

"Old Ameri- Can you believe this guy? You think we're playing a game, that's cute."

The short one kicks the gun out of Paddy's hand before kicking him in the shin.

"You'll get your door. After you spill why you stuffed our associate in a dumpster!"

"Your associate didn't happen to be some drug runners, did they?"

"Do any of you have instrument cases with Tommy Guns inside?"

I take out my nail polish and start polishing one of the gangsters hands.

"Associate?" I ask, catching my gun as it falls. "Which associate would that be?"

"...Sig, the fuck is with this towel?"

Saltarius:
"Your associate didn't happen to be some drug runners, did they?"

"Ugh, no."

MinimanZombie:
"Do any of you have instrument cases with Tommy Guns inside?"

"No!"

Sigma Castell:
I take out my nail polish and start polishing one of the gangsters hands.

"Gah, stop with the hand job buddy!"

Paddy the Second:
"Associate?" I ask, catching my gun as it falls. "Which associate would that be?"

Is what you would do, if you weren't doubled over and clutching your leg.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Well, fuck it." I jump from the Mall Fight line to the American Gangsters line.
"I'm chilling with these dudes for a while."

I pass Salt my business card. It reads: "Sigma's Towel Emporium-Simply the best there is."
"We're an up-and-coming entreprenurial company, hoping to make a splash in this rough-tough world of back-room deals and political savvy."
I throw another towel at Salts face and continue polishing the gangster, this time his face.

I brush the towels off.

"Gee, I'm fairly surprised you've only made fun of me for the sweaty part about Equius."

"So." I hand out cigarettes to all present. "Who's the associate?"

I take the cigarette and combine it with my make-up bag, creating an unholy fusion of nicotine, lipstick and mascara that writhes on the floor for a few minutes before dying.
"Goddammit, I needed that lipstick."

I glare indignantly.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. I have never stuffed anyone into any type of waste receptacle."

MinimanZombie:
"Well, fuck it." I jump from the Mall Fight line to the American Gangsters line.
"I'm chilling with these dudes for a while."

TEAMMATE LOST!

Sigma Castell:
I throw another towel at Salts face and continue polishing the gangster, this time his face.

"Oh God, he's buffing my face!"

Paddy the Second:
"So." I hand out cigarettes to all present. "Who's the associate?"

"Well, isn't this civil?" He says, flicking the cigarette away.

"The man who told you to come here. The one you shot in the leg and left in police custody! If he told about this place, he must have spilled more! Tell me what I want to know!"

"Let's just plug 'em now and leave."

"Not yet. I'm not finished yet."

"Hold up, you mean the auction guy? I've taken a lot of drugs since then and wasn't really paying attention."

"...Oh shit."

I finish donning my new outfit.

"This is so fucking cool!"

"We did no such thing. I bet it was Knife. Or RaN. Those two are crazy."

I fire my last thermite shot into Zomb's chest.

I return the nail polish to my bag, and take out my lipstick. The cap folds away with a pressurised hiss, and I start drawing obscene images on the gangsters cheek.

Saltarius:
I fire my last thermite shot into Zomb's chest.

You punch a hole through his heart.

DAMAGE: -6

The mobsters take cover, retrieving handguns and shotguns from their coats. They respond in kind, clipping Salt in the side with buckshot.

DAMAGE: -3

ROUND TWO! FIGHT!

???: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII------

MALL TEAM: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII---

"Fuck."

"Salt what the hell."
I draw my revolvers and shoot one of the guys in the chest.

"OH LIKE YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN US INTO WORSE TRILBY!"

I roll over to Paddy's legs and load up some regular rounds.

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