It must be amazing to work as a weapons designer in a fictional universe. There are countless shady corporations to invest in your projects, and less pesky laws of physics that halt impossible contraptions. But sooner or later, you’re going to meddle with forces beyond your control and become a moral lesson for real heroes to avoid. If you want to prevent this fate, do not weaponize any of the following monsters.

Anything deadly you think we missed? Share them in the comments!

jurassic world raptors

Dinosaurs

In Jurassic Park, simply resurrecting dinosaurs was dangerous enough. But various parties have dabbled in weaponizing them as well, from military experts in Jurassic World to at least one drug lord in the Jurassic Park comic. Sooner or later, it backfires, and you can expect a repeat performance in whatever Jurassic World sequel arrives next.

the incredible hulk photo

Hulks

Let’s say a gamma accident creates a Hulk, a powerful being fuelled by its own rage. The good news is you’ve lucked out and it just wants to be left alone. The bad news is the military wants to make another one, because they assume the uncontrollable rage was a one-time fluke. Do you want Abominations? Because that’s how you get Abominations.

resident evil zombie

Zombies Plagues

If you’re going to break international laws and created biohazardous weapons, the last thing you want is for the weapon to start propagating itself without your control. This is a lesson Resident Evil‘s Umbrella Corporation should have learned repeatedly when they couldn’t even keep research samples contained, causing devastating zombie outbreaks. Umbrella must have some fantastic cosmetic lines to keep shareholders invested after the first few debacles.

sentinels days of future past

Sentinels

X-Men‘s Sentinels are technically robots, not monsters – unless you consider racism to be the greatest monster of all. Either way, the end result is the same. A weapon used to keep mutants in check turns on its creators, under the logic that humans were already mutant breeders to start with. If the US government had decided to invest in schools like Xavier’s instead of this weapon programs, they could have bypassed both problems entirely.

Godzilla

Godzilla

In the Godzilla universe, presumably someone was watching the devastation across Japan and decided “I’d like to get one of those.” Which is why in Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah the Japanese government tries to design a kaiju of its own. This goes about as well as you’d expect, but what would Japan had done if they actually tamed it?. The food logistics alone would be a nightmare.

mewtwo and mew

Genetically-engineered Pokemon

Pokemon is a rare fictional setting in that humans have a fairly positive relationship with its monsters. Genetically-engineered Pokemon like Mewtwo are an exception, as everyone learned when he decided he didn’t care for his human masters. His violent response destroyed several human lives and eventually prompted one of the saddest moments of the franchise. If only the scientists kept to the “wear them down and catch them in a Pokeball” approach of monster taming.

aliens xenomorphs

Aliens Xenomorphs

Literally every Aliens movie deals with an attempt to weaponize Xenomorphs, despite zero evidence that the process could be successful. Between their hive mentality, hunting skills, lethal bodily functions, and surprising intelligence, anyone who tries will ultimately regret it. You’d have a better chance of weaponizing cancer than bringing Xenomorphs under your control.

Hang on, that gives me an idea for a new screenplay.

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