If you woke up today wanting nothing more than to clumsily paw through 87 pictures of videogame boobs, German gaming site has your hookup.
PcAction.de assembled the collection under the title, “Breasts in computer and video games,” as translated by Google. Clicking on the link above and viewing all 87 pictures will likely make your eyes bleed, make you lose your faith in humanity as a viable species, and kill more than a few kittens. Besides the obvious tastelessness, there are quite a few things wrong with this collection of boob shots. In case it wasn’t clear from the headline, many of these shots contain nudity and are not safe for work.
The number of pictures is upsetting. What happened to the other 13 girls? Did the editor of the website suddenly determine that 100 was too ambitious and 87 pictures of pixelated breasts was enough? Frankly, I was officially disturbed after #4. (Does gravity not work for Ivy from Soul Calibur? Those puppies should have fallen out of that boob contraption years ago.) After a while, breasts aren’t even important in a number of pictures. I mean, #87 is just Zoey with a red hooded sweatshirt. If the only criteria to get your picture on this site is to be a chick in a game, you’d think they could at least get to 100 before quitting.
The selection of characters depicted in “The Infamous 87,” as I call it, is a bit of a confusing grabbag. There’s the obligatory Lara Croft shots, as well as the Bloodrayne Playboy picture. But I could do without the modded Alyx Vance tits from Half-Life. I mean, how can we have a serious discussion about breasts in videogames if you allow user-created mods to creep in? It’s preposterous.
Also, it’s just bad form to put more than one of the girls from Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball on the list. One is plenty, no need to be hamfisted about it.
I have to say the production values of this whole sham are pretty poor. There’s no attempt at a ranking system or even identification of which game the boobs are from. The whole thing is a shameless attempt at page views, as the author notes in the page description, “Okay, actually it’s a cheap click [trap]. But at least it’s worth it! Yeah!” (Again, translation courtesy of Google.) I can’t fault them for being honest, and if they wanted to pick a subject that would get gamers clicking, well, boobs was a good choice. I know I clicked through the list of pics more than I should have and I’m guessing that a lot of you will too. I hope you don’t feel as dirty as I do.
At least the comments prove that “fap fap” works in any language.
Published: Nov 23, 2009 09:45 pm