Alpha Protocol Sex Scenes: “Tasteful” Yet “Satisfying”


Sounding like nothing so much as a commercial for lite beer, Obsidian Entertainment says the sex scenes in the upcoming RPG Alpha Protocol will be “tasteful” but “satisfying.”

Knocking boots during the slow bits seems to be all the rage among videogame characters these days and that’s a train Obsidian plans to catch. Alpha Protocol, the third-person action-RPG set for release later this year, will feature plenty of weapons, combat, high-tech gadgetry – and quality time with the ladies. But this isn’t going to be some free-flying eastern European boob-fest; no sir, these tender moments are all about the good taste.

“It’s tasteful,” Obsidian Programming Producer Nathan Davis told “We do some things with our cinematics, too. It isn’t just like a hand up on a thing! We cut around it a little bit. It’s an American game! What can I say? There are limits to what we can do there.”

While the inclusion of sex, even the tasteful kind, is ostensibly a sign of the industry’s burgeoning maturity, Davis seemed to have trouble describing the actual scenes without sounding like a red-faced 12-year-old. “I’ve seen a few of the cinematics for those,” he continued, “and it ends up being satisfying without being… you know… over… you know?”

Actually, I really don’t know, Nathan. A hand up on a thing? Whatever that means, Davis emphasized that while players will be able to romance a number of the game’s characters, the sex will be entirely non-interactive, playing out exclusively through cut scenes. “No, no, no! No God of War sex scenes!” he said. “We don’t have that.”

Tasteful, maybe. But satisfying? I fail to see how it could possibly be both. Obsidian’s Alpha Protocol is set for release on October 6 for the PC, Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3.

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