Australia Finds Its Funbags

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Remember that great huge load of fake snoobs that went missing somewhere in Australia a couple weeks ago? They’ve turned up!

130,000 pairs of the pretend knockers, with a street value of $200,000, went missing in early December. The artificial titties were intended to be part of a promotional giveaway in January by Ralph magazine (very NSFW link), a sophisticated journal of current affairs and other matters of relevance to today’s modern Australian man.

Fortunately for the magazine, and for wearers of blow-up bazoombas across the whole of the country, the missing melons have been found. In a bit of a letdown for conspiracy fans, however, it turns out that there was nothing more underhanded to the matter than a simple case of mislabeled shipping: A spokesman for the magazine said officials in China lost the paperwork for inflatable milk jugs and ended up putting them on the wrong ship. As a result, instead of arriving at Sydney as they were supposed to, they wound up at a dock in Melbourne, where they’ve been sitting for the past week.

Santi Pintado, editor at Ralph, said the incident had added another $30,000 to the promotional palookas price tag, but seemed happy that they’d at least been found. “If we’d found them a day later, it’d have been too late to get them on the next issue,” he said. “You’d think the Chinese economy was in enough trouble without misplacing 130,000 pairs of boobs.” The magazine is now hard at work getting the toy wopbopaloobops into bags so they can be shipped with the December 15 issue.

Congratulations on finding your blow-up splazoingas, Australia. Too bad you’re still not getting F.E.A.R. 2.

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