Topping today’s list of “inventions likely to kill you and everyone you love” is the Pyro System 2.2, a homemade, wrist-mounted flamethrower.
I think everything you really need to know about the Pyro System 2.2 is shown in the video. Combine the sex appeal of strapping half a lawn mower engine to your forearm with the intense danger of shooting meter-long jets of flame from your most burn-prone body parts and you have something guaranteed to impress any EMT called to resuscitate your charred corpse.
Far be it from me to judge the System’s inventor though. Since time immemorial mankind has dreamed of controlling the awesome power of fire, and the Pyro System 2.2 is the closest anyone will get without being bombarded with cosmic rays and having to live with a grotesque rock monster.
Speaking of which, is anyone else disappointed that Captain Skingrafts never once shouted “Flame on!” before shooting that thing? That’s the first thing I would do.