Canadian Government Stands Firm Against Zombies

Canada’s Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird vowed in Parliament today that the country will never become a safe haven for walking dead.

Border security is no laughing matter. Neither are zombies. Luckily for all of us trapped up here in the frozen wastes of the north, the government of Canada is on the job.

Acknowledging the good work of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control in coming up with a strategy to handle a zombie outbreak, New Democratic Party MP Pat Martin demanded to know if the government of Canada had made any similar preparations.

“Zombies don’t recognize borders,” he told the Speaker of Parliament. “A zombie invasion in the United States could easily turn into a continent-wide pandemic.” Is Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird, he asked, working with his counterpart in the U.S. to ensure that “a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?”

Fortunately, Minister Baird assured the Speaker that the good people of Canada have nothing to fear. “I want to assure all Canadians that I am dead-icated to ensuring that this never happens,” he said. “Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever!”

Political observers noted that this was the most useful exchange to come out of Question Period in months.

Source: Maclean’s