David Jaffe promises a very happy ending on Valentine’s Day for everyone who buys the PS3 version of Twisted Metal.

The Twisted Metal franchise has been around for an awfully long time and every new, more advanced iteration has brought the series closer to “the fantasy” first conceived when creators David Jaffe and Scott Campbell were stuck in L.A. traffic.

“Every new piece of hardware, you get to get a little closer and a little closer to that image in your head, which you’re never really going to get to,” Jaffe said in a GameTrailers interview. “We saw helicopters with guys leaning out with sniper rifles, we saw tanker trucks on the freeway jackknifing and flipping into sports cars and blowing them up. We get that now… With PS3 we really actually get to fulfill that fantasy.”

Even more important, he added, is that the system allows the creation of a really “deep, meaty sort of gameplay-centric game,” with a focus on pure game mechanics rather than cinematics and presentation. Jaffe readily admitted that sales of Twisted Metal will never approach those of blockbusters like Call of Duty but said that in terms of the “fun factor,” he’d put it up against any other multiplayer game that’s been released over the past five years.

And speaking of the fun factor [and deep and meaty], he also made a uniquely Jaffe-esque promise to every guy who buys the game when it comes out on February 14 – Valentine’s Day. “It’s a great, great romantic gift. If you have a lady friend and she really wants to know the best game ever, she will give you a fucking blowjob if you play this game,” he said. “If you let her win Twisted Metal split-screen, she will suck your dick.”

Boy, that’s better than flowers and chocolate. I guess I’m off to buy a PS3!

UPDATE: Jaffe said what he said, there’s no question of that, but the circumstances surrounding his statement have come into question. In a long series of tweets conveniently strung together by Kotaku, he explained that there’s more to the situation than is immediately evident.

“Uhm, on the whole GT BJ thing, if I may: I like vulgar but the way that was edited came off more vulgar than even I like. There actually was some context to that conversation as I recall but the edit only showed the last part of a bigger discussion,” he wrote. “Granted, the overall discussion was still intentionally juvenile and over the top but w/that as context- especially given the entire REST of the GT piece had NO indication the interview was gonna go vulgar, at least I think you’d see more where it was coming from.”

“Again, as I said earlier: it WAS meant to be stupid and childish but it was edited so as to cut off the lead off where we are talking about Valentine’s Day and sex and stuff and then we transition to the BJ part,” he added. “Again, nothing suave about it but it makes more sense if UC whole bit.”

He also denied that his remarks were misogynistic, calling the accusation “hurtful,” although he seemed able to talk himself into a happier place with relative ease. “The idea that being crude and vulgar=misogynistic to some folks bugs the fuck outta me (but also indicates they are probably super pussy whipped PC types who God know I dunno why I give a shit about their judgement of me anyway),” he wrote. “so yeah, I really should not be upset :). Problem solved!:)”

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