What was it about Ronald Reagan that made the future seem so assuredly dystopian? The jelly beans? Probably the jelly beans.
By now, you’ve played Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, right? You haven’t?! Dude, c’mon! What’re you waiting for? Remember how Far Cry 3 was, like, equal parts Heart of Darkness and an excuse to shoot leopards with flaming arrows? Forget all of that. Blood Dragon is more like the first Terminator movie, insomuch as it lifts copious design cues from the film (along with star Michael Biehn who’s been tapped to voice the protagonist), and effectively offers players the chance to enjoy a satirical yet surprisingly apt view of what people imagined the future to be in 1989, all “cyborgs run amok” and “global apocalypse” and stuff.
It’s impressive that the Far Cry team was able to so closely ape the cultural zeitgeist of the late-80s, but even more impressive is the above-embedded fan-made video demonstrating what a trailer for a feature film based on Blood Dragon might look like. Excessive neon? Check. Huge swaths of darkness punctuated by inexplicable steam bursts? Check. Cool one-liners after particularly impressive kills? Triple check.
The clip even includes faux VHS tracking artifacts! I’m not about to explain what that means to those too young to have ever used a VHS player – I despise your youth – but it’s an impressive touch, especially given the zero-dollar budget the film’s creator seems to be working with.
Unfortunately, this fan-made trailer is just too good to exist in reality. If we ever do get a feature film for Blood Dragon, the Hollywood suits will want to make the whole thing glossy, and reflecting current futurist trends, likely ruining the entire purpose of Blood Dragon from the very start. With that in mind, this amateur effort seems even more laudable. It’s not great from a budgetary or directorial standpoint, but man, the only way it could possibly be more 80s if it were a buddy cop action/comedy starring the “Where’s The Beef?” lady and Judd Nelson.