Are you a Hideo Kojima fan who has desperately longed to play the games the storied designer created that were never brought to American shores? Today is your lucky day.

While we’re still waiting on Konami to release Snatcher on the PlayStation Network or Xbox Live Marketplace, a group of dedicated fans has created a downloadable English language translation patch for Kojima’s other big Japanese-only title, Policenauts.

Between “Snatcher” and “Policenauts” it’s almost like Kojima is actively trying to make fan discussion about his games sound as ridiculous as possible, hm?

Anyway, the download can be found at, and weighs in at a paltry 8MB. Included in the package is the patch, a surprisingly comprehensive text file explaining how you can use the file to play Policenauts on a Windows-compatible PlayStation emulator. You are using a legal copy of the disc, right? You kids and your damn eyepatches!

Anyway, assuming you’re all legal and can follow some pretty simple instructions, the patch offers a “completely uncensored” English translation of one of Kojima’s lesser-known masterpieces provided by Mark Laidlaw, a man described by the included text file as “a professional video game translator who has worked on AAA videogames.”

And if you’re a Konami employee, please see this as ample evidence to convince your higher ups that Americans would like some version of both this and Snatcher. We promise we won’t snicker about the stupid names.

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