This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Five Nights at Freddy’s: Security Breach.

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If you’re not familiar with Five Nights At Freddy’s, it’s this thing where somebody said “Hey you know those animatronic animals they used to have at a certain kind of family restaurant that had big terrifying eyes and really unnatural robotic movements? Those were a bit weird.” Hm. Interesting point. Hey, you know that Chuck Berry single, “My Ding-A-Ling”? I think that song was actually about his penis. There, I can make banal observations of the patently fucking obvious, too, where’s my multimedia franchise empire? Oh I suppose I have to make an indie game about it, first, one primarily designed not to be played for fun but for hyperactive streamers to react to for the amusement of an audience for whom this never seems to get old. But anyway, speaking of things that never get old, Five Nights At Freddy’s is about children getting murdered by pizza restaurant animatronics that go mad when night falls. Step two question mark, step three profit. But shows what I know, ‘cos in the latest game, Five Nights At Freddy’s Security Breach, the business model has proved profitable enough to be able to build a gigantic indoor park themed around four animal characters reinterpreted as 80’s glam rock musicians and child murder.

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