Got a Hollywood itch you need to scratch? Want to be a part of the blockbuster film industry? Got fifty bucks lying around? Send it to Uwe Boll and be a “co-producer” on his latest project, Blackout.
Things are tough all over, even for everyone’s favorite videogame movie director. What’s a man to do when his CV is an unending litany of cinematic debacles and the tax law loopholes that provided a steady stream of investments are suddenly closed off? Appeal to the public!
And so it is that Boll has cast his net out upon the waters of the internet, looking to raise $18.5 million dollars for Blackout, a “terrorist disaster” film starring that huge guy from Gladiator. Here’s how it works: You donate 50 dollars to the film’s budget via PayPal and in return you get to be a “co-producer” on the project. Not that you can expect to see your name in the credits; at 50 bucks a pop Uwe is going to need 370,000 people to ante up to get things rolling. But your money will buy you more than just a sense of satisfaction and a cheap-seats ticket into the movie industry. You’ll also get:
– A limited special edition Blackout DVD autographed by the leading actors (including that huge guy from Gladiator) and by Uwe Boll himself. This limited edition release will only be available to people who invested in the film.
– Entry into a draw for one of 50 all-expenses-paid trips to the filming location in Canada, which will also include an opportunity to be cast in a support role in the film.
– Other raffles for cash and prizes including a grand prize of $500,000 and, at the end of 2010, a separate draw to give away 20 percent of the movie’s profits.
– Perhaps most important, however, is that by giving Uwe some bucks to make this movie, you’re taking steps to ensure he’s not making another videogame movie. (That’s not something you actually “get,” I suppose, but I thought it was worth mentioning.)
Let me say right now that Uwe Boll is an absolutely madman, and I love him for it. He is, I believe, possessed of a unique and incomprehensible vision and an obsessive drive to achieve that vision no matter how spectacularly random it may be. A lot of people claim they don’t care what others think about them; Uwe has carved that philosophy into stone and lives by it unwaveringly, and I envy him for it.
I’m also not giving him a dime. Sorry Uwe, you’re awesome but you’re not touching my money.