Dear Sir Digimus,

First, I just wanted to say that your letter about Red Mages was pretty dead on it is really funny to sit back and laugh at the fact that we do argue about that stuff too much. Any, as a Red Mage, I am faced with another bif frustration. As I level in Quifim I notice that I have not been able to practice being an RDM. Everytime I get invited into a party, someone then says, “YOu are our main healer.” Me!? Then the worst part is that they get upset and boot me when someone dies! I have much less MP than a WHM, and even with fast casting I can barely keep up with trying to keep the tank let alone a whole party alive. The worst part is that my Healing skill is 73, while my enfeeblement skill (WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!) is at 69. What is your take on this, and what should I do?

Robert Brooks

Dear Robert,

Hail to a fellow Red Mage! Thank you for your kind words in regards to my previous letter. It is my hope that more and more Red Mages will realize how ridiculous the argument is, and discontinue their pursuit of the unattainable answer. (One man can dream, can’t he?)

You may recall in my very first White Mage letter, that I mentioned my own angst towards healing. You have hit it head on. The Red Mage is often called upon as a “he-will-have-to-do” alternate should a party fail to locate a White Mage in an expeditious fashion. Much as you have stated, our abilities (though far reaching and useful…) are not suited to be a member of the holy order. If it were, we would have chosen such a job to begin with.

I myself have been the victim of dismissal from a party because of my “inability to satisfactory render aid”. It hurt my feelings, but I found comfort in drawing every monster’s attention to that particular party as a way of thanking them. Ah, fond memories… uh, not that I encourage such negative adventurer interaction. Alas, in order to advance in this world we often are forced to do the things that we would rather not do.

As far as what to do when involuntarily conscribed to holy service, one would suggest that all you can do is your best or nothing at all. Maybe instead of making it clear that you are not there to be a White Mage, that you merely show the party all that being a man (or woman) of the cloth entails. I suggest pausing every few minutes to bow your head in silent meditation, and requiring that the rest of the party does this as well. The best timing for this is of course, conversely related to how much the party needs to move. I’d say a typical 10 minute walk from point A to point B can easily be stretched into an hour of reverence. Two hours for the particularly penitent. If that doesn’t work, actively and persitantly try to recruit a few of them to volunteer for the church’s monthly bake sale, start singing hymns at the top of your lungs, or make sure to add “By the grace of our Almighty Protector, from Whom all life flows, that we the lowly worms of this land should look upon with awe, who brings to us each new day the sun in the sky, the rivers below, the fields and mountains, the beasts and blossoms, and for Whom we owe our eternal gratitude” to the beginning of every sentence. Even when answering yes/no questions.

Your humble servant,
-Sir Digimus

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