This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Mario Golf: Super Rush and Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights.
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Mario Town is split into three districts. First, Mainline Mario, where the core platformers live on increasingly tall tentpoles. Secondly, Nostalgia Mario, where dwelleth games banking on emulating older mainline titles; this is where we find New Super Mario, 3D World and Mario Maker. And lastly, skirting around all of those, we have Whore Mario, the shady downmarket region where they just make any fucking tat and stick Mario’s face on it like a fishnet stocking on a blobfish. And yes, there are a few quaint gentrified areas in this region where the RPGs live, but then there’s the alleyway where Super Mario Run plies her trade. Dear god. You can catch something nasty just being within earshot of the public toilets. The point is, you know it’s a slim pickings kind of release week when I seriously give a Mario Golf game a chance. But I figured, hey, I just came off somewhat enjoying the sniping gameplay in that Sniper Roast Waterfowl With Carrots 2 game, and what’s golf gameplay if not sniping gameplay without the body count? And so I set out to escape from worrying about rising income inequality by pretending to be an internationally famous public figure enjoying a sport exclusively played by rich cunts.