A new graphic novel starring mohawk-wearing tough guy Mr. T has been released, and he pities the fool who doesn’t buy his book, read it and enjoy it.

Seriously, that’s what he said: “I pity the fool who don’t get my book, read it and enjoy it!” It’s a bit disappointing having my obligatory “pity the fool” joke preempted, but it’s all in the name of introducing the world’s most famous angry mudsucker to a new generation so I’m willing to let it slide.

“Since the announcement of Barack Obama as President-elect, plans have apparently been fast-tracked for a black James Bond, a black Doctor Who, a black Captain America,” said Christopher Bunting, the author of Mr. T: A Real Black Super Hero. “But what’s missing is a real black hero. Mr. T, star of this new graphic novel, is just the man for the job.”

But Bunting insisted that the timing of the novel’s release is not an attempt to ride the coattails of Obama’s success. “Don’t think that we’re simply jumping on the bandwagon,” he said. “Mohawk Media released a Limited Advance Edition of the Mr. T graphic novel back in February 2008, and it was made clear that this worldwide edition was to follow.”

The new graphic novel touches on potentially controversial topics like sex offenders, kidnapping and domestic abuse. “Because he’s real, we can tackle all kinds of topical and difficult real-world issues,” Bunting explained. “People can relate to Mr. T. They know what he stands for: T for tender, but if you’re a bad guy, it’s T for tough!”

Mr. T first gained mainstream fame as the vicious Clubber Lang in Rocky III, but is best known for the five seasons he spent portraying the aviophobic tough guy B.A. Baracus on the hit 80s television series The A-Team. Most fans agree, however, that the high point of his career came prior to that role, when he ate world-renowned stuntman Super Dave Osbourne during an episode of Bizarre.

Mr. T himself is supporting the novel not only by threatening people who don’t buy it with grievous bodily injury, but also by proving exclusive interviews, serving as executive editor and writing a foreword. Mr. T: A Real Black Super Hero can be ordered directly from the publisher, Mohawk Media, and is also available through fine comic book stores everywhere.

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