Peruvian Scientists Discover Alien Corpse

image

Either somebody in Peru turned on the big head mode cheat, or there is something seriously off about this pile of bones.

The image at right depicts a mummified body recently unearthed by Peruvian anthropologist Renato Davila Riquelme that he believes is an extraterrestrial. Or, more specifically, that he originally believed to be a deformed human child, before Russian scientists swooped in and said, “Да друга. То есть чужой.”

(Roughly translated: “Yup, that’s an alien.”)

Never one to question the scientific expertise of the country that spawned Zangief, Riquelme issued the following statement to Peru’s RPP news service:

It has a non-human appearance because the head is triangular and big, almost the same size as the body. At first we believed it to be a child’s body until Spanish and Russian doctors came and confirmed that, yes, it’s an extraterrestrial being.

Here in America however, we have a long and storied history of doubting the Russians, so I would like to posit the possibly controversial idea that maybe, just maybe, this is actually a human. I’m thinking it was a child who was either born with a horrific deformity or whose skull was shaped via primitive socioreligious ritual.

Granted, if Riquelme had been approached by adorable British scientists making the claim, I would probably be writing an alarmist warning against the imminent invasion of giant-headed extraterrestrials, but the Cold War only ended two decades back, so I’m pretty sure this is a communist ploy to steal our precious bodily fluids somehow.

Source: RPP, via io9

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