Need to get your to get your internal metronome juiced up for Patapon 2? Want to piss off your coworkers, classmates or roommates with horribly annoying Patapon chants? Check out this free webgame.
For all its cuteness and visual flair, Patapon was a hard-as-nails rhythm game. Maybe it’s just me, but I have an easier time playing drums on expert in Rock Band than getting in the Patapon groove. So it’s nice to have this short-but-sweet flash game produced in promotion for the upcoming Patapon 2 as a warm-up for what are likely to be tough times ahead in Pata-land.
Patapon 2: The Art of War is basically three brief Patapon stages less than a minute long each. It looks exactly like the real game, and plays a lot like it, too. You’re introduced to the basic “Pata-pata-pata-pon” chant that makes your little army of Patapon march forward, with the directions on your keyboard substituting for the face buttons on the PSP. Eventually you’ll break down some towers, fight a dragon boss, and learn the “Pon-pon-pata-pon” chant for attacks.
Each stage has a time limit, and depending on the amount of points you score and army recruits you gain, you’ll unlock a variety of art pieces from a gallery of a 100 some which you can use later to make your own custom wallpaper. I know the whole “make your own wallpaper” thing is kinda played out and an obvious attempt to get you to turn your desktop into an ad, but whatever, I dig it. You can also submit your score to an online leaderboard, where it will forever languish underneath the impossibly high scores of those people who must be really, really, really bored at work.
Of course, The Art of War is full of the sights and especially the sounds that give Patapon its unique flavor. Turn down your volume unless you don’t want to get socked in the face for aggravating anyone nearby with endless “Pata-pata-pata-pon” chants.