This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Resident Evil Village.
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Weird question – how often would you say foreign objects get traumatically inserted into your body during an average week? Maybe once at most, and usually with your consent? Well tell that to Ethan Winters, or as I’ve come to call him, the amazing human desk tidy. It’s seriously tarnishing his “average everyman in a crisis” image the sheer amount of random sharp objects he gets stuck in him in the course of Resident Evil 7 and 8, by the end it’s just gotten silly. I know he doesn’t ask for any of it but you know what they say, if everyone you meet is an impalement weirdo, maybe the impalement weirdo is you. At the start of Resident Evil Vilililillage, Ethan “Unluckiest Chump In The Western Hemisphere” Winters is lounging around the house with his wife and baby thinking his getting impaled on things days are behind him when of all people Chris Redfield bursts in, shoots Mrs. Winters dead and kidnaps the baby. This, boys and girls, is what we call a “hook.” But don’t worry, it’s like what they used to do with superhero comics where the cover shows Superman about to dropkick a baby into a volcano or something to force you to buy the comic and discover, oh, turns out all along it was a volcano-shaped sweet shop and it’s the baby’s birthday.