The babes of Duke Nukem Forever are going on spring break, with appearances on both the East and West Coasts and a two-week-long “Booty Shake Contest” in Panama City.

“The Babes of Duke Nukem want to party with you at Spring Break,” according to the promo at Of course that’s not true; the babes will jiggle and giggle and hang around because they’re being paid to, not because spending time with a bunch of nervous, awkward Duke Nukem fans is something they’ve dreamed of doing since the day they turned 18. But hey, we take what we can get and what we can get from this is the opportunity to have pictures taken with some pretty ladies, score some loot and party like the King – although I think they mean the Duke.

On the East Coast, Duke’s babes will bring their Hummers to New Orleans, Louisiana from March 5 to March 8; Panama City, Florida from March 11 to March 17; and Daytona Beach, Florida on March 19. On the Left Coast the festivities will take place in Las Vegas, Nevada, from March 6 to 9; South Padre Island, Texas, from March 13 to March 16; and Lake Havasu, Arizona, from March 20 to March 23. “Duke’s Booty Shake Contest” will happen every day at 3 pm local time from March 11 all the way to March 24 in Panama City.

And now, on behalf of gamers everywhere who won’t be attending spring break this year, I’d just like to take a moment to say how much I sincerely hope that underneath all this T&A and double entendres and ridiculous fratboy marketing, Gearbox actually has something decent to offer when Duke Nukem Forever comes out on May 3. The dog and pony show is impressive but it won’t mean much if the game doesn’t measure up.

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