This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Werewolf: The Apocalypse – Earthblood.

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Hey! People who like pen and paper role playing? Stop dazzling the world of fashion with your presence for a moment and listen. Have you ever thought that the campaign you’re part of might work really well if adapted into a book or video game plot? Well, apply this simple test. Go to literally anyone in the world and tell them about the most interesting thing that’s ever happened in your game. Shortly you will notice that their eyes appear to be focussed on a point six feet behind your head and they keep saying things like “Uh huh” and “Right” and “If you don’t stop talking I’m going to scrape out my own eardrums with a teaspoon handle you tedious, tedious fuck.” For you see nobody gives a shit about your imaginary heroics outside of the players directly involved and the cloud of in jokes, body odour and cheeto dust in which you meet. And anyone who says otherwise is either trying to seduce you or sell you a car. The point is, Werewolf (HUURH) The Apocalypse (HUURH) Earthblood, fucking hell that is the last time I read the full title out, plays like a case of someone adapting their pen and paper role playing sessions, in that it’s full of contrivance, pointless characters and repetitive environments because the DM either had Alzheimers or a very limited set of room tiles.


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