Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted. Angels come forth from the heavens and demons come up from hell. Jesus comes back from the dead to challenge the Anti-Christ... winner decided over a quiet game of boggle.

I wish for Funions!

granted. you now get funions. Mung funions.

I wish to play chess

Granted, You play chess but are dominated by a 12 year old (the kind you'd find on XBox Live) Bobby Fisher wannabe.

I wish a could punch a hole in the moon.

*Gets some other person*
*drops his pants*
there you go, don't mind the other hole, feel free to make your own.

I wish for the star wars prequels to be redone

Granted. They are redone flip book style using a pack of index cards and a #2 pencil.

I wish that all the stars in Texas had nothing in your eyes when you say "Let's hit them one more time."

Um, confused. Is that meant to be 'their eyes'??

OT: granted, they no longer have eyes :)

I wish Miami will win the NBA playoffs this year.

Granted. However, you die of a heart attack the moment they win.

I wish for an advanced home servant AI to do everyday chores, manage utilities, and adjust the temperature.

Granted, but he only accepts commands in Swahili :P

since you didnt ask for anything ill choose your wish
your wish is: i wish i could meet chuck norris
granted! a wild chuck norris apears!
wild chuck norris uses round house kick!
its super affective!
you faint!

i wish i had all the money in the world!

btw cpcha says: "talk the talk" now walk the walk!

Sure, but something went wrong with the economy, and now, even all the money in the world can't buy you candy.

I wish i knew alchemy.

Granted but all you can do is turn gold into candle wax.

I wish I could find everything.

Granted but you find everything you hate first until you stop looking.

I wish for more server hamsters.

Granted, but they are dead.

I wish for a third eye.

Granted, but it is blind.

I wish for my own evangelion mecha.

Granted but it costs a fortune and you are forever indebted to a billionaire who then also steals your soul. Enjoy being a tool!

I wish for tools.

Granted, but they are all broken chisels.

I wish for a chicken burger.

Granted. You get a chicken burger but a dog steals it and eats it all.
I wish for a completely harmless, friendly, invincible, cute dog to be my pet

Granted, but it is the kind of cute and friendly that eventually grates on you, and when you try to put it down.... it's invincible :D

I wish that I could read 10 times faster.

sure, but you will only be able to understand ten words out of a whole book.

I wish for dubstep

Granted, but you are now deaf.

I wish for a mars bar. (come on, it's just a mars bar, no need to ruin it...)

Granted. You get a Mars Bar, but it's filled with maggots.

I wish I had normal toes.

Granted. You have normal toes, from a derp's point of view.

I wish for a billion bucks.
(I know this is easy, so be more creative)

Granted, but they stampede down your street and wreck everything, then your neighbours beat you to death.

I wish I'd been more creative with the above solution.

Granted. Not content on their revenge. my neighbors follow me to hell where they perpetually torture me in a room with no doors, whose only content is a big unreachable speaker that plays the top 10 worst music of all time while I boil in lava. But, you're there inside, with me, because we've been fused together, catdog style.

I wish I hadn't thought that one up.

Granted, you now think of an even worse one :D

I wish I were the master of disaster!

Granted! You are now the master of disaster. You look disastrous, you smell disastrous, you speak disastrously, everything you do also looks and smells disastrous. disastrous. they aren't harmful or anything, they're just that.

I wish for a more efficient way of typing.

Granted, but there is a power cut in your area.

I wish for a better internet connection.

Granted. Your connection speed is now .01% faster.

I wish for you to live a healthy and successful life.

Granted, and as that wish was made in hopes of it being ruined, it isn't :P

I wish you find your soul mate.

*looks at night angel* there you are!!!!

I wish for peace

You die and are now resting in Peace.

I wish for an explosive Monkey.

...Granted...he explodes while your on the toilet....also he's in the toilet too.

Good luck. :D

I wish for dice.

Granted. However they're all 3.33333333333 sided dice.

I wish for a monster to call my pet.

*looks at night angel* there you are!!!!

I wish for peace

Haha, left myself open for that one :)

OT:Granted, you call it 'my pet', but then it turns on you and eats you alive.

I wish for a new, good, season of heroes.

Sure, but it only aired in japan, and you only find that out ten years later, when the rest of the world has missed the best ten seasons of heroes, that aired only in japan.

i wish for a job

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