Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted. But since that was all you wished for, you get NOTHING!

I wish I had an emu.

Granted, but this emu is terminally ill and will die shortly after you gain a true emotional and mental bond with it. Dammit I'm cold.

I wish Wilfred Owen's 'Anthem for Doomed Youth' and 'Dulce et Decorum est' weren't so damn hard to analyse!

Granted, but you also have to read the complete Divine Comedy in the original Italian.

I wish I had a ginger ale right now.

Granted, but it's flat..

I wish I had a car of my own.

Granted!

I wish I won the lottery.

Granted. Too bad you're this guy.
image
I wish for a giant marshmallow.

Granted, but it's stale.

I wish there wasn't such a thing as "Reality Tv".

Granted. Reality TV is just reality now.

I wish I was in a hot tub right now.

Granted, but there's no water in it.

I wish I had the ability to teleport.

Granted. However, you can only teleport into my refrigerator.

I wish I had a teapot.

Oh! What kind of food do you have in there right now?

OT: Granted, but it doesn't boil water.

I wish a millionaire gave me five million dollars.

Just three month old milk. I need to go shopping. -.-

OT: Granted, but the government has increased taxes! You don't get a penny.

I wish the poster below me would finish my rock mechanics homework for me.

Granted, but my complete lack of knowledge of how rocks work causes me to screw up the paper. Causing YOU to get an F.

I wish I had a job.

Granted. You get a job as a geologist.

I wish I had a taco right now.

Granted, but it's a pink taco.

...with pickles.

I wish I don't recieve probation for this post.

Granted, but we will all hate you forever.

I wish I had a higher post count.

Granted, but you never get past 4998.

I wish for a pygmy polar bear.

Granted, but it's actually giant. And brown. And hungry.

I wish for moar monies!!

Granted but before you can spend it or put it into a bank the Grammar Nazis kill you.

I wish for flint.

Granted. It's on the end of that spear in your leg.

I wish for a giant brick of chocolate.

Granted, should be arriving at around 300mph when you are next in an area with NO overhead cover...

I wish for...MORE TIME GODDAMN IT!

granted, you now have 100 lonely years spent in your house with no provisions.

i wish i had more sleep.

Granted, but you won't wake up.

I wish I had a Spanish teacher again.

Valkyrie101:
Granted, but you won't wake up.

I wish I had a Spanish teacher again.

granted but she teaches like shit and flunkes you
I wish I had a super gaming computer that upgrades itself

Granted. It reaches sentience, upgrades itself with a machine gun and starts hunting you.

I wish for a bag of explosion-flavoured jelly babies.

Granted, but they are expired.

I wish I'll pass the quiz I'll have to do soon.

Granted. This will arouse feelings of jealousy in the heavily armed spectators.

I wish it were Halloween.

Granted, but candy has been banned in your state/town/area.

I wish for the following wish to not be corrupted. I wish to have a million dollars.

You can't have two wishes. The first wish was granted, but the second wish was invalid. You receive nothing.

I wish for a Japanese maid.

Granted but its a robot that strangles you in your sleep.

I wish for water.

Granted, you get one small drop.

I wish to break a world record!

Granted, but that record is number of times stabbed before dying.

I wish for neutrinos.

Granted, but you have to catch 'em first.

I wish for an heir to my throne!

Granted, but he fails terribly.

I wish I did not have to work today.

Granted, but a local maniac breaks into your home and kills you as soon as you get up.

I wish for a new laptop that works and functions properly and is immune to being "corrupted" by "viruses"

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