You know you've been on the Escapist too long when...

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Banjo is starting to look strangely attractive.

The new MK8 armour is out.

You wonder why Jim Sterling left.

Your best friend is your husband.

Whales can't be trusted any more.

There's been big trouble in Little Havana.

There have been fourteen terrible animated feature films this year.

Paranoia is a good thing.

You know the names of all the music tracks featured on RedLetterMedia's videos.

The future was yesterday.

It's nothing but Moskau.

VR is real.

You can bake an egg.

The U.S. and Soviet Union have allied.

You've crashed and destroyed seventeen bongos.

Defcon 0 has been initiated.

Bad guys are in the base bathroom again.

You've finally arrived at LAX.

They forget to pat you down.

The French have nuclear weapons.

You just can't get it up any more.

Phineas Gage has won a beauty contest.

You start to miss "is X sexist?" threads.

You wonder what it's like in Connecticut.

It's Elmer season.

It's Fudd Friday.

Brian has been canonised.

Your tits have fallen off again.

A shooting star has broken the mould.

Monopoly pieces are now a form of currency.

Weyland-Yutani have gone bankrupt.

There's a snail on the ceiling.

The homeboys are here.

Harry Potter exploded in the third-floor toilets while trying to brew drugs.

An alternate universe drove by.

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