High School teacher resigns after leaving wife, kids for student, 18 (Updated)

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This is just...ugh...what is the world coming too: (I included the full story since some people may have trouble with the site)

http://www.modbee.com/2012/02/28/2090490/enochs-high-teacher-resigns-after.html

My reaction...this is sick on so so many levels (nobody tell Rick Santorum about this, he will go ballistic). Ok yeah its technically legal since she is 18 but still...what the hell? I think the worst part is the guy is leaving a wife and kids. Imagine what his kids are thinking now. "Daddy doesnt love me." Its stories like this that make me lose my faith in humanity. Its some consolation that many people seem as outraged as I am.

What do you all think?

(Oh and please dont quote the OP post itself since I dont need a new message in my inbox for every response. If you post on this topic I assume its a response to the OP unless you say otherwise).

Update:

http://www.modbee.com/2012/03/01/2093567/teacher-student-couple-attracting.html

Looks like they are going to go on the media circuit to tell "their side of the story" so lets hear it.

Update:

Modesto Teen Tells Ex-Teacher Lover 'We're Done'

http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2012/04/07/modesto-teen-tells-ex-teacher-lover-were-done/#.T4EAxOb1r2A.twitter

image

My God. Does "till death do you part" and marriage in general me nothing to some people anymore. Jeez, it is things like this that cause people like Rick Santorum. From the article: "school district and teachers union officials worry that an ethical and moral line has been crossed, even if the student is legally an adult."

Well no shit!! You think!

Oh no! It's that heinous sin of Divorce rearing its ugly head. People splitting up, surely this is the end times...

The guy's already been fired from his job due to violating the trust necessary for the position, and there's no evidence he's done anything to her before she turned 18. Assuming he didn't, I fail to see any further problems here, certainly anything that concerns others than those involved.

People get divorced/break up all of the time. But a 41 year old dating a 18 year old? That is just creepy and a breach of the teacher/student relationship.
I mean, he was probably in contact with her before she was an adult.

Imperator_DK:
Oh no! It's that heinous sin of Divorce rearing its ugly head. People splitting up, surely this is the end times...

The guy's already been fired from his job due to violating the trust necessary for the position, and there's no evidence he's done anything to her before she turned 18. Assuming he didn't, I fail to see any further problems here, certainly anything that concerns others than those involved.

He left a wife and kids to be with someone about 20 years younger than him...that is just wrong.

Seekster:

He left a wife and kids to be with someone about 20 years younger than him...that is just wrong.

Well, I wouldn't exactly call it wrong, but it's certainly on the list of socially acceptable behavior.

On one hand, two consenting adult = I should STFU. On the other, being a teacher in training myself, this is very much an abuse of position of power on his part. Even if the girl is legally an adult, the relationship of teacher/student places him in a position where this kind of conduct is not acceptable. This is a very tricky situation, and it may turn out that he gets charged with something.

Yeah... just a general facepalm situation.

On a side note, his name is Hooker. I find that pretty humorous.

(withdrawn)

Seekster:
...
He left a wife and kids to be with someone about 20 years younger than him...that is just wrong.

It's hardly commendable, but it's two consenting adults organizing their own personal lives, all (presumably) within the limits the of the law. What anyone else thinks consequently matters nothing (anyone am of course free to offer up their irrelevant condemnation, freedom of speech and all, but they shouldn't expect to not be condemned in turn for doing so).

As for the wife, if she wanted a faithful spouse, she should've been a better judge of character when she married him (...or a better wife). He's not her property, as little as she is his.

As for the children, he can still provide for them (is probably forced to do so by law), and can remain in their lives (assuming the ex-wife and the children themselves will allow it). But ultimately they don't own him either.

A violation of the teacher-student relationship dynamic? Only if she was still his student at the time. I can't really make that determination from the article to be honest.

Anything else inherently wrong with it? 2 consenting adults. A family splitting because he obviously wasn't happy. He even resigned his position. They both appear to be handling this extremely well.

Is this really news worthy? What's the discussion value? Seems more like gossip than anything else to me.

If nothing sexual happened between them before she was 18 there is nothing the law can do outside of force him to pay child support. Outside of the law though, this is about as low as you can get without actually breaking the law. By the way when I talked about a frivoulous divorce in previous topics...this sort of thing counts as an extreme example of what is wrong. I sincerely hope that even if there is nothing the law can do this guy is shunned by society.

"I believe it was the stress of the lie," Tammie Powers said. She said her daughter was "always compliant," kept her room tidy at their Waterford home and minded her curfew. No R-rated movies until she was of age. No lone trips to the mall or the movies.

Wait, so let me get this straight. That kid was 17 and now is 18, and still had a curfew, wasn't allowed to watch television and not even leave the house without a male escort?

Well, for anyone wondering why she took and up moved to the first man she could find despite the huge age gap: This is why. If parents repress their children like that, they'll rebel. That teacher offers her a place to go and escape her parents.

I wouldn't be surprised if those panic attacks were caused by the parents and went away a few months after she moved out.

What better way to repay your loving family than to dump them in the middle of the night and move in with your underaged student?

disgusting and shameful. The man is a terrible person

One of my ex girlfriends did that to a rich old guy when she was 14, she got like $10,000 worth of new designer clothes out of him.

With that $110K a year (assuming he can pull that in repeatedly) she's just using him and will leave him when she's taken him for all she can.

She's a businesswoman ;)

I'm not really sure what to think..

On one hand, I have no problem with the age gap. I have no problem with the divorce, and although I think there's a strong case he has failed to act appropriately to a position of trust he has been willing to resign from that position and give up a career in teaching, which I think was the correct thing to do under the circumstances.

On the other hand, and maybe it's reporting bias, this girl is clearly cloistered, financially dependent and much less experienced and confident than her partner and, assuming the claim about "panic attacks" is correct, may have underlying mental health problems. I don't see how they would ever achieve any kind of equal relationship, and since she's going to be completely financially dependent for several years yet I think that's quite dodgy.

I don't want to place myself in a position of judgement, but there are a lot of danger signs here. I hope I'm wrong and they do have a happy life from here on, but I don't think so.

The "woe is me" mother strikes me as 9/10ths of the problem. She clearly didn't adequately prepare her child for the adult world, and was then terribly shocked when said child made bad decisions. Hey, maybe if you don't treat young adults like little babies who need to be wrapped in bubble wrap, they wouldn't seek unhealthy and infantile relationships with authority figures. Just saying.

usmarine4160:
One of my ex girlfriends did that to a rich old guy when she was 14, she got like $10,000 worth of new designer clothes out of him.

With that $110K a year (assuming he can pull that in repeatedly) she's just using him and will leave him when she's taken him for all she can.

She's a businesswoman ;)

Wait, when she was 14?

Wut

OT:

I think we need to give this fellow a call.

BOOM headshot65:
image

My God. Does "till death do you part" and marriage in general me nothing to some people anymore. Jeez, it is things like this that cause people like Rick Santorum. From the article: "school district and teachers union officials worry that an ethical and moral line has been crossed, even if the student is legally an adult."

Well no shit!! You think!

I agree with you on the whole "til death do you part" bit.

I know this is a bad thing, but atleast to an extent it's in a moral grey area. Worst things probably happen every hour.

Eh, one of the maths teachers at my old high school left his wife for a 17 yr old student when he was 51.

Which is sorta awesome, cause I know a celebrity, or at least someone to appear on Today Tonight.

He was a crap teacher too.

But...there's nothing actually necessarily wrong with that. It might seem sleazy to us who've only read about it in the news, but we aren't currently in a position to make informed judgements about it, if ever. I'd say it's a bad thing, but I can't really say I'm basing that on much.

My cousins husband (45-48 I forget) left her and her three kids (one of whom is slightly disabled) for a girl I went to school with.

My father did the same to my mother.

Honestly, if your dad is such a prick like that you're probably better off without him most of the time. Sometimes the dad can even turn out to be a way better parent when he leaves as well.

Consenting adults and all that, they can do what they want I guess.

usmarine4160:
With that $110K a year (assuming he can pull that in repeatedly) she's just using him and will leave him when she's taken him for all she can.

She's a businesswoman ;)

Not really since they knew this would make him jobless when it came out. Nice way to insult the poor girl BTW.

BOOM headshot65:

My God. Does "till death do you part" and marriage in general me nothing to some people anymore.

No, and I'm glad my religion has no such unrealistic hang ups about marriage to suggest such a thing in vows.

Seekster:

"I believe it was the stress of the lie," Tammie Powers said. She said her daughter was "always compliant," kept her room tidy at their Waterford home and minded her curfew. No R-rated movies until she was of age. No lone trips to the mall or the movies.

Or the stress could be her mom's recent engagement and being kept like a prisoner in her home even though she was almost a legal adult (and where I live, could have told her mother to stuff it and ignore her)

Hooker and Jordan Powers said their relationship was strictly teacher-student until mid-December, when they started talking more frequently and then dated. "I just kind of knew that she's the one," he said.

Powers turned 18 on Sept. 5, and Modesto police say that makes her a consenting adult. However, Lt. Rick Armendariz said there is an ongoing investigation involving a high school teacher and student.

So no evidence he broke the law. We haven't even seen evidence he actually broke school board policy (just "guidelines" I believe)

If he kept hands off until she was 18, and if she was never coerced in any way, then I don't have a big problem with what happened. It's no different than an 18 year old employee dating their supervisor at work, which is allowed. At 18 teachers are no longer in locum parentus.

If he touched her 1 day before she turned 18, I have a big problem.

Imperator_DK:

Seekster:
...
He left a wife and kids to be with someone about 20 years younger than him...that is just wrong.

It's hardly commendable, but it's two consenting adults organizing their own personal lives, all (presumably) within the limits the of the law. What anyone else thinks consequently matters nothing (anyone am of course free to offer up their irrelevant condemnation, freedom of speech and all, but they shouldn't expect to not be condemned in turn for doing so).

As for the wife, if she wanted a faithful spouse, she should've been a better judge of character when she married him (...or a better wife). He's not her property, as little as she is his.

As for the children, he can still provide for them (is probably forced to do so by law), and can remain in their lives (assuming the ex-wife and the children themselves will allow it). But ultimately they don't own him either.

I hate to say it, but you have just encapsulated Objectivism. Whether or not you agree with Ayn Rand, that is the core of her philosphy: man is responsible only for his own happiness, not the happiness of others.

OT: thats just creepy.....but at least he waited till she turned 18. He could have gone full pedo and boinked her before hand.

Kendarik:

Seekster:

"I believe it was the stress of the lie," Tammie Powers said. She said her daughter was "always compliant," kept her room tidy at their Waterford home and minded her curfew. No R-rated movies until she was of age. No lone trips to the mall or the movies.

Or the stress could be her mom's recent engagement and being kept like a prisoner in her home even though she was almost a legal adult (and where I live, could have told her mother to stuff it and ignore her)

Hooker and Jordan Powers said their relationship was strictly teacher-student until mid-December, when they started talking more frequently and then dated. "I just kind of knew that she's the one," he said.

Powers turned 18 on Sept. 5, and Modesto police say that makes her a consenting adult. However, Lt. Rick Armendariz said there is an ongoing investigation involving a high school teacher and student.

So no evidence he broke the law. We haven't even seen evidence he actually broke school board policy (just "guidelines" I believe)

If he kept hands off until she was 18, and if she was never coerced in any way, then I don't have a big problem with what happened. It's no different than an 18 year old employee dating their supervisor at work, which is allowed. At 18 teachers are no longer in locum parentus.

If he touched her 1 day before she turned 18, I have a big problem.

Oh booh hoo she was a teenager stressed out so she did something ridiculous. What does she think this is, Twilight?

Nah if they dont find evidence he did anything to her before she is 18 there is nothing the law can do to him as far as criminal charges. That still doesnt make him any less of a total sorry excuse for a man to run out on a wife and kids like that. The girl may be having a "teen moment" (puberty is worse in girls and lasts longer...trust me I have a younger sister who just finished going through it herself). The guy should have been an adult about it and discouraged her if she brought up the idea and if it was him who brought up the idea then he is a child who has no business teaching anyone.

Either way there is no excuse he can give to justify this behavior, shame on him.

I'm really more concerned about the student-teacher issue than the age or family issue. All my feelings of him being an asswipe come from the former.

Seekster:

Kendarik:

Seekster:

"I believe it was the stress of the lie," Tammie Powers said. She said her daughter was "always compliant," kept her room tidy at their Waterford home and minded her curfew. No R-rated movies until she was of age. No lone trips to the mall or the movies.

Or the stress could be her mom's recent engagement and being kept like a prisoner in her home even though she was almost a legal adult (and where I live, could have told her mother to stuff it and ignore her)

Hooker and Jordan Powers said their relationship was strictly teacher-student until mid-December, when they started talking more frequently and then dated. "I just kind of knew that she's the one," he said.

Powers turned 18 on Sept. 5, and Modesto police say that makes her a consenting adult. However, Lt. Rick Armendariz said there is an ongoing investigation involving a high school teacher and student.

So no evidence he broke the law. We haven't even seen evidence he actually broke school board policy (just "guidelines" I believe)

If he kept hands off until she was 18, and if she was never coerced in any way, then I don't have a big problem with what happened. It's no different than an 18 year old employee dating their supervisor at work, which is allowed. At 18 teachers are no longer in locum parentus.

If he touched her 1 day before she turned 18, I have a big problem.

Oh booh hoo she was a teenager stressed out so she did something ridiculous. What does she think this is, Twilight?

Nah if they dont find evidence he did anything to her before she is 18 there is nothing the law can do to him as far as criminal charges. That still doesnt make him any less of a total sorry excuse for a man to run out on a wife and kids like that. The girl may be having a "teen moment" (puberty is worse in girls and lasts longer...trust me I have a younger sister who just finished going through it herself).

Why would I trust you? I AM a girl.

The guy should have been an adult about it and discouraged her if she brought up the idea and if it was him who brought up the idea then he is a child who has no business teaching anyone.

Either way there is no excuse he can give to justify this behavior, shame on him.

An 18 year old IS an adult, not a child.

Kendarik:

Seekster:

Kendarik:

Or the stress could be her mom's recent engagement and being kept like a prisoner in her home even though she was almost a legal adult (and where I live, could have told her mother to stuff it and ignore her)

So no evidence he broke the law. We haven't even seen evidence he actually broke school board policy (just "guidelines" I believe)

If he kept hands off until she was 18, and if she was never coerced in any way, then I don't have a big problem with what happened. It's no different than an 18 year old employee dating their supervisor at work, which is allowed. At 18 teachers are no longer in locum parentus.

If he touched her 1 day before she turned 18, I have a big problem.

Oh booh hoo she was a teenager stressed out so she did something ridiculous. What does she think this is, Twilight?

Nah if they dont find evidence he did anything to her before she is 18 there is nothing the law can do to him as far as criminal charges. That still doesnt make him any less of a total sorry excuse for a man to run out on a wife and kids like that. The girl may be having a "teen moment" (puberty is worse in girls and lasts longer...trust me I have a younger sister who just finished going through it herself).

Why would I trust you? I AM a girl.

The guy should have been an adult about it and discouraged her if she brought up the idea and if it was him who brought up the idea then he is a child who has no business teaching anyone.

Either way there is no excuse he can give to justify this behavior, shame on him.

An 18 year old IS an adult, not a child.

You will trust me (or not) for the same reason I trust you are a girl...because you say you are and I have no reason to doubt that claim.

An 18 year old is legally an adult, compared to her teacher she is a child...unfortunately her teacher is also a child though in a different way.

Seekster:

An 18 year old is legally an adult, compared to her teacher she is a child...unfortunately her teacher is also a child though in a different way.

Compared to her teacher she is younger. She is not however a child.

Sure, 18 year olds can be mature and make mistakes, but that doesn't excuse you calling an adult a child.

Your suggestion that girls also have a longer and more screwed up time with puberty is a bunch of sexist crap.

Kendarik:

Seekster:

An 18 year old is legally an adult, compared to her teacher she is a child...unfortunately her teacher is also a child though in a different way.

Compared to her teacher she is younger. She is not however a child.

Sure, 18 year olds can be mature and make mistakes, but that doesn't excuse you calling an adult a child.

Your suggestion that girls also have a longer and more screwed up time with puberty is a bunch of sexist crap.

Id call her a child in some sense at least. As my grandfather once said "some guys are old men before they grow up" (I assume the same applies to women).

Its not sexist...its observation. I don't know what the science is but at least in my experience girls get a lot more psycho in puberty...come to think of it girls get a lot more psycho out of puberty too but that is beside the point (that last one might have been sexist but ;p)

Seekster:

Kendarik:

Seekster:

An 18 year old is legally an adult, compared to her teacher she is a child...unfortunately her teacher is also a child though in a different way.

Compared to her teacher she is younger. She is not however a child.

Sure, 18 year olds can be mature and make mistakes, but that doesn't excuse you calling an adult a child.

Your suggestion that girls also have a longer and more screwed up time with puberty is a bunch of sexist crap.

Id call her a child in some sense at least. As my grandfather once said "some guys are old men before they grow up" (I assume the same applies to women).

Its not sexist...its observation. I don't know what the science is but at least in my experience girls get a lot more psycho in puberty...come to think of it girls get a lot more psycho out of puberty too but that is beside the point (that last one might have been sexist but ;p)

Without any science to back you, yes that's sexist, even before you get to the last part.

*Tries to keep open mind*

...

*fails*

Ok at an extreme stretch I could understand the older younger relationship even at such an extreme albe it incredibly creepy but... leaving your existing family for someone that young... (how bad is his family life? / what has he been smoking?). It just seems distorted and... ah... yeah pretty wrong...

Maybe its real love and etc etc etc... Or its some devious, manipulative, sinister... who was that creep who raised underage girls to adore him but only touched them as soon as they were legal? Whatever the term for doing what he was doing >.>

We don't know but getting the girl infront of a professional mental health consultant wouldn't exactly hurt to see if this is actual love (and she likes older guys) or the guy raising the girl :s

Oh look, it's the Escapist's uppity moral police brigade. What I see is two consenting adults in a consensual relationship. Sure I might privately question the teacher's intelligence or possible exploitation of the student-teacher relationship, but ultimately that's none of my business.

Also if the genders were reversed, this wouldn't even be a news story.

Brawndo:
Oh look, it's the Escapist's uppity moral police brigade. What I see is two consenting adults in a consensual relationship. Sure I might privately question the teacher's intelligence or possible exploitation of the student-teacher relationship, but ultimately that's none of my business.

Also if the genders were reversed, this wouldn't even be a news story.

Your overreacting, people would make a fuss if it was the other way.

2 adults, consent, no actual evidence of crime or coercion.
Nothing to see here, move along.

Volf:

Brawndo:
Oh look, it's the Escapist's uppity moral police brigade. What I see is two consenting adults in a consensual relationship. Sure I might privately question the teacher's intelligence or possible exploitation of the student-teacher relationship, but ultimately that's none of my business.

Also if the genders were reversed, this wouldn't even be a news story.

Your overreacting, people would make a fuss if it was the other way.

ye and Hugh Hefners birthday will be all over the media...

lot of hypocrisy in this thread.

the only real question is over the student - teacher relationship and as he didn't seemly violate that, waited and gave up the position its no different that someone meeting someone at work.

the age difference is largely irrelevant (especially culturally where hypocrisy abounds. the OP mentioned Rick Sanatorium i note...but no mention of Gingrich who's married to a woman 23 years his junior the EXACT same age difference as in this case), i've been told in a recent thread people leaving a marriage to "follow their heart" or whatever is apparently A-OK (dw i not gonna directly compare cross posted opinions) and the "Daddy doesnt love me" bit is pure hyperbole.

tbh i read the OP and i'm glad the girl found a man and got away from that mother.

"compliant", "no lone trips"..../facepalm...

i wish them all the best.

Two consenting adults entered a relationship with a huge age gap, but did so according to proper procedures. Potential abuse of authority aside, they seem to have handled this extremely well.
Nope, I don't think you have any business telling them what to do. Sure, it's a little creepy, but it's a completely unimportant event.
It's practically one of the least despicable actions that happen every day. You would really be better served focusing your attention on actually illegal stuff and actual violations of human rights. Stuff like genital mutilation.

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