Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"Hold on, you and Sister went here for a date? Wow, I learn new things every day."

I crash a plane into the Ice Cream store, imolating everyone in a 300-metre radius.

"That was news to you, Tox? Wow."
Then Sigma happens.
I respawn next to the wreckage.
"This is one example of what I was talking about, Salt. In case you hadn't guessed."

I respawn next to Trilby. "How would I have known? I haven't been here for like months, dude!"

"I dunno, I just assumed it had come up at some point when you were around because it's like the only thing Salt goes on about."

"Good point."

"I guess I can look on the bright side. At least I'm not Trilby."

I walk up to the ice cream shoppe.

"Aw man, I really wanted that sherbet!"

The ice cream shoppe respawns.

"Score."

Paddy the Second:
I lie on the floor. My tulpa stands outside the church tapping his feet.

Uh... Paddy?

"I placed the order for sherbet first, dude."

I flood it again, but this time with liquid nitrogen.

"... Damn you."

The ice cream is already frozen, numbnuts.

"Besides, handicapped. So I get precedent."

But the patrons were not.

>patrons

>people in the mall other than us

I am purely bamboozled.

"Oh god, that innocent couple who also just happened to be here was frozen solid."

The ice cream shoppe respawns, minus the nonexistent patrons.

I sneak in front of Salt and score all the sherbet.

"So, where the fuck's that sherbet?"

*mmm nom nom* "I dunno."

I lean over to RaN and steal some of the sherbet, eating it before he can put the blame on me.

"Why are you making eating noises if I got first dibs?"

*mmm nom nom* "I dunno."

"...Sis, is he eating all the fucking sherbet?"

"Nah, RaN -*nom nom nom*- would never do that."

*mmf nom nom* "No."

A tiny robot butler pulls on your pantleg and hands you your one scoop of sherbet.

I calmly seat myself across RaN, staring intently at him.

"So-*nom nom*-how's your sex laife, RaN?"

I take the scoop and begin eating.

"This is a fairly pleasant change of pace."

"Oh." *mmf* "About as nonexistent as this ice cream."

I hold up my empty pint.

"That was more predictable than uh...fuck, what's a good insult..."

"A blind guy in a SoHo club?"

"...Way to be insensitive to your fellow colleagues."

"I don't know what RaN said, but I agree with him on principle."

"Send the warlocks. I'll stand up when they get here."

I pour water all over everyone and their sherbert.

I pour gasoline all over everyone and their sherbet.

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