Escape to the Movies: Transformers Revenge

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I like it!I never watched transformers as a child, I didnt own any of the toys and I've not seen any of the television adverts. But movieBob is clearly the kind of person who thinks all films should be intellectually challenging, which is a reasonable position if you make your living WATCHING movies. If you are looking for somethng that'll make you think I'd suggest a career change or atleast a good book...

BenzSmoke:
I orginally thought this woundn't be that bad... I bled tears of blood that night... (Why do my friends like these movies?!)

I've started putting my foot down whenever my friends ask me to see something that is destined to be crap. I prefer not to support crap.

Pretty crappy review.

TopUSGun:
Pretty crappy review.

Okay, lets see yours now.

I just saw this movie on Christmas and I realized that they spent more money on the CGI than the actual movie.I got REALLY pissed off when I saw a car getting launched through a roof and you could clearly see that the were just two crash test dummies wearing wigs in the car....

This was definitely the movie review that made me sit up and start paying attention to what you had to say, with a "Wow, this guy knows his shit."

It took me a little bit to get the greeting, but now that I got it, I'm going to go cry searing tears of blood now(yes, I watched the animated movie that involved Unicron). I had to force myself to watch this travesty so that my friend would watch Watchmen, I was so close to taking the movie out and use it for target practice, I started to forget that it wasn't my movie. Sad thing is that there's already another one in the works. NOOOOO!!!

vasudean:
It took me a little bit to get the greeting, but now that I got it, I'm going to go cry searing tears of blood now(yes, I watched the animated movie that involved Unicron). I had to force myself to watch this travesty so that my friend would watch Watchmen, I was so close to taking the movie out and use it for target practice, I started to forget that it wasn't my movie. Sad thing is that there's already another one in the works. NOOOOO!!!

I've seen more mature movies with Dora the Explorer slapped on the cover.

Seriously.

HATE.

My parents watched this film and were like "OMG this is the best movie ever!!!"... I was sitting there watching this film wondering when it was going to be over. It was so bad...

Something interesting just came to my attention about this movie...

Charlie Adler voice acts Starscream! Keep in mind, this does not change the fact this movie is a tragedy on all levels, but all I wanna say is, at least someone who deserved some recognition made it out of this god awful film with a fat wallet.

--(after watching a clip from the movie with Charlie as Starscream)--

-sigh- and of course, Michel Bay's stink is felt on Charlie Adler's performance.

Charlie's voice was perfect for Starscream, but Michel Bay had to fuck his performance up with some stupid new computer filter and probably shitty coaching. Charlie probably did it perfectly at the audition, then Bay made him do it "his way"

How does he continue to make one bad choice after the other, it goes against all laws of probability! In terms of statistics, he should've made at least one good choice by now! That was the one thing, ONE thing, that could've redeemed a small freckle on this giant ass of a movie. But no, Michel Bay had to fuck that up too.

((I edited first post to include my 2nd post))

Just bought the movie (I don't know where you go to find a $20 movie ticket, the most I've spent in the UK was 11 - and that was a 3D film), watched it, watched this review, watched the movie again.

I just don't get where the reviewer is coming from. This is a great improvement on the 1st film, in that you can tell who is fighting who. There are more robots/time of robots in screen than the first, and the human story makes sense.

The Soldiers should be pretty good at taking down robots - they're not just the US military, they're an international task-force (hence the British dudes in it) with the sole role of hunting down the Decepticons with the Transformers - and I bet they're using SABOT rounds, since it was established in the 1st film that those are effective - and the guns look quite high-tech for the most part - watch the desert battle, there are dudes with M16s but others with some sort of suppressed automatic rifles that look more like something out of ODST than standard Military gear.

The tanks should have an effect too, as a previous poster pointed out, 105mm cannons are going to pack a lot of kinetic punch - though if you watch closely you can see the Decepticons really only get knocked down from the tank/gun fire, it's the Autobot weaponry that finishes them off (apart from the odd lucky headshot).

As to why the army should be there at all...this is set on Earth. If there are bad-ass aliens that have (2 years earlier) nearly totalled one of your cities plus exterminated an entire military base, you're going to be pretty pissed off. And not be too inclined to sit around whilst said aliens keep fucking with the planet. But the inclusion of the NSA guy makes a valid point within the film - the humans are totally, and utterly, fracked without the Autobots to help them out - and the only fight scenes where the humans win also feature at least one Bot.

I didn't find the twins all that irritating - and I didn't see a racial stereotype. They struck me very much as the white jackasses that hang around in parks drinking White Lightning, yet they are pretty bad-ass when fighting Devastator.

In short I liked the film - hell, I even liked Shia in this (and I despise him on every level - he just seems to be becoming a better actor as he gets older); though I do detest his parents intensely.

Whilst the film isn't exactly true to the original story, for all the people complaining about the "stupid one-liners" - particularly "I rise, you fall" and ("One shall be left standing" from the first film) these crop up in the original animated movies/series' so I don't see why it is so annoying.

I liked the Robot designs in these films - the second film is superior to the first in that you can see *how* the robots transform (in the first film they tend to "morph"), but the second shows where everything folds into - for instance watch Bumblebee turn back into the car when Sam is considering turning himself in.

In short, the movie is, in my opinion, no where near as bad as the "review" makes out - and I am not a Bay fan, and I am a person who grew up watching Transformers. It's not an epic piece of cinema like LOTR was, but it's still a pretty epic film in that the graphics are amazing and it's engrossing for the whole 2.5 hours.

Opinions vary, clearly, but I wouldn't recommend avoiding the film entirely on the merits of critics (unless you disliked the first...in which case obviously stop watching the series that you don't like). It's worth a rental at the least (which should be cheap now - I bought my copy for 5) to see what you think of it.

just seen the movie, terrible!

I think the sam character could have been included but the empahsis should hav ebeen on the actual transformers, not a big pair of tits bouncing about

big transformer fan, but I find myself, unable to acknowledge, these movies. They seem to be more for border audience, then the original fan base.

the only satisfaction I get from these films, is the fact that it has reanimated a serious that would be forgotten, and now it's got a larger fan base, someone in the future can make a real transformer movie. Although I was always satisfied with the animated movie

Great review, that movie was over 2 hours of noise with little substance.
But I have to disagree with the part where you dissed Batman's source material. You're showing only the old versions, Batman books have for over a decade now gained a more mature and darker approach which has been represented in the Nolan films. So there.

THANK YOU SOO MUCH
- for putting into words a good portion of my frustration over this movie. It is such a relief to hear some of it expressed!

The stupidity of this movie is so stunning I have not been able to say much about it at all. My brain would just overload and go in all directions at once, there is just too much suck to choose from. But you really nailed a fair portion of that suck to the wall, and for that I thank you.

May your future endeavours bear fruits of comparable lushness and salience!

And I thought Halo was your biggest hate in the universe.

Jesus Outrolling Christ that the most truthful review I've ever seen.

Since when did Yahtzee review movies?

Having finally seen this movie for the first time the other day, I agree with every single thing Movie Bob said in this review. It's not that I dislike big, dumb action films. If this had been an actual action film, I'd have probably loved it. But there was all of 5 minutes of fighting, and the rest was meaningless padding. The plot literally went nowhere for almost the entirety of the film, then decided to just randomly head to Egypt for the finale. It made no sense whatsoever. But that's not even the worst part.

The absolute travesty of this film is that it's called Transformers, it's based on a universally recognised series with it's own cast of iconic characters, and which robots get the bulk of the screentime? Two of the most racially stereotyped characters I've ever had the misfortune to witness in a blockbuster movie. It wasn't just the blaxploitation speak. It wasn't just the fact that one of them had a fucking gold tooth. Hell, it wasn't even the fact that they were absolutely retarded. It was the fucking out-of-place, ass ugly, riffing-on-every-african-equals-monkey design work that fucked it for me. The original Transformers film at least had a style that was comparable to the original cartoon. Yet for some unknown reason, an entire production team decided to create two robots with baggy eyes, monkey ears, big puffy lips and buck teeth. Two robots who then speak in 'gangsta' to each other, and confess to 'never learnin no readin'.

They're not even original fucking trasnformers. Michael Bay created them specifically to wring out a few more of his trademark 'black folks is funny' jokes, then gave them most of the screen time. Fuck this film. Fuck the stupid 'robot humping Megan Fox's leg' scene, fuck the plot that makes no sense whatsoever, fuck the poorly filmed action, the Decepticon who can transform into a woman (seriously, WTF!?!), fuck Michael Bay, but most of all, fuck the people who keep supporting such utterly dire film-making! Movies this diobolically terrible should fail, and fail hard, yet Transformers 3 is already in the works. Here's to wondering what new tasteless creations Michael Bay will come up with for it.

MrLumber:
Some spoilers!
I agreed on every account, but I'd like to add the notion that for some reason every single decepticon in the ENTIRE MOVIE (yes even megatron, AND satan/the fallen) is a TOTAL PUSSY. I mean seriously they got beat up by tanks, as well as Optimus fighting off three people (Two of which are Megatron and Starscream) at the same time? And then at the end it has a super climactic end of a one minute fight after an hour and a half of build up. That is what made me lay down and cry. I was also sad to not hear about the gaping plot-hole of where during half the movie the decepticons sit around like fucking morons, even after they got everything they needed to go and blow up the sun.

For all you people out there who say we need to connect to people I have one thing to say.

Beast Wars.

THANK YOU! Someone else noticed that plot hole as well!

I put Bay in the same category as Uwe Boll because he is, in short, a baffoon.

I love this episode of Movie Bob.

The best scene in this movie are when Bumblebee beats the shit out of the twins. It's the only reason why I walked away from the cinema with a smile.

Even though I didn't like this one as much as the first, I did like the robot battles. That was about it though. :/

Can't find anywhere better to put this, So bad news part #234,789-B Micheal Bay has more control on the script and as such, according to an interview with LeBouf, is going to add MORE human drama. Apparently he believes the problem with the last transformers movie was the TRANSFORMERS.

All things aside though, i think the autobot designs are okay (decepticons are fucking bland and stupid though) and remove LeBouf and Fox and that raging pile of shit, focus on autobots and army guys (who IMO are well characterized for secondary characters) rub it in some agent orange to add some FUCKING COLOR and you might have something watchable.

My problem with these movies is that the term action is misleading. THE ARE BORING AND BLAND. Like crappy video games made into worse movies. grey black and brown are the leading colors, minus exsplosions. the action (jerky and crappy as it is) should be well paced through out the movie (you being about war and all) but instead is confined to secondary plot points and the end battle which was in this case resolved by a human being the chosen one of the robots... WTF?

MovieBob:

MovieBob takes a look Michael Bay's latest masterpiece: Transformers Revenge.

Masterpiece? Please, Mr. Moviebob, dont make me cry any harder. I did see the first movie on my own will, thinking "Oh My God! My favorite toy/comic/animated motion picture/cartoon is being remade. I left within thirty minutes, went to the bathroom, and puked, not kidding, for two minutes straight. I vowed i would never see a micheal bay movie again. well, i went against my vow due to my friends nagging me to go see the movie with them so i could explain who was who. I didnt recognize anyone. I vote for Moviebob to be the next director for the transformers film! Who's with me? I also got your first reference from the original Transformers movie that was animated. Im fully with you Moviebob: I'm tired of seeing classics ruined and destroyed. Someone please arrest Micheal Bay for being a Douchebag.

sneakypenguin:
I never understood the rage against human characters in transformers. I strangely like Shia I think he's a good actor. I couldn't make it though the review cause it seem hate for hates sake. My personal opinion was it was the most fun movie i've seen this summer. But i'm not a critic or cynic....

I pretty much agree with this, and since I'm married, have a step-son, have a degree, am doing a Law post-grad, and am not a frat boy douchbag (I'm not even American, and I hate the UK "chav" culture), sorry Movie Bob, but you were wrong.

Just because you dislike it doesn't mean everyone who does like it is a douchebag. That's primary school level logic, and that sort of ad honimem attack is something I'd think was below you.

Please learn that not all people who disagree with you are scum, and you might become more credible. I enjoy your reviews, but when you basically just attack people, you are no longer being a critic, but being a wanker.

Finally, someone has a reasonable argument against Michael Bay.

I've used Movie Bob's quote "You can make a good movie out of anything" argument any time an idiot friend of mine tells me I have to lower my standards in order to enjoy whatever movie it is.

Thanks, Bob.

"Greatest Hack since hot coffee"... Yea ok, that cracked me up good. As for the movie... I sadly agree. I didn't hate the first Transformers. I have it on DVD but only watched it one time. This one was.. Everything you said. xD

Transformers 1 wasn't that bad. It was about alien robots, it had the civil war fight scenes, it tried to revolve around the Transformers. Yes, we never find out what happens to those three robots the Spark makes at the end. Yes, the humans ended up being center-camera in fights and such a bit too much. But if you look past those couple of flaws, it wasn't that bad.

Number 2, however, does not get, and will not be getting, recognition of even something to piss on. Number one ended on a rather final note, and number two looked, sounded, and even felt like sequel trash just by looking at the commercials. I pity the morons who actually went to see it.

ok ill say this first i had no problem with the movie. i went in thinking giant robots blowing shit up and it deliverd even if only lacklusterly.(if thats not a word i dont care im useing it)Now would the movie be better if peter jackson or another good director did it hell fucking yes but were stuck with bay till someone learns not to hire his ass.BTW i liked a few of the transformers designs mostly optimis but i agree star screem was horible and WTF happen to megatron being a tank?!(by that i me a regular tank not the futuristic peace of shit in this movie) If i misspelled anything im sorry but theres no spell check deal with it.

Wow... THAT bad, huh?

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