Zero Punctuation: Wolfenstein

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...Yahtzee, you have outdone yourself this week. Let me respond in kind;

That level of rhyming took skill,
For the amount of time you had to kill
I am very impressed
I think you are the best
Game reviewer on the Internet still.

Gah, amazing. And that's why, Yahtzee, you need to review more generic FPSs. So at least something gets good out of them - ZP reviews! Just forget 2Ds, RPGs and experimental stuff...

BTW what could have been expected from Raven? They always play it safe. Well at least they tried a little this time, unlike with Q4. Or haven't they?

I never comment on these things, but that was an amazing review. It must have taken like six years to think up all that shit but outrageously clever (and a nice way to avoid the fact that he's repeating himself)

I'll say this much, not everyone can review a game in limerick. Especially not for a straight 3-4 minutes. Good review.

can't wait til next week to see
What Yahtzee's new gimmick will be.
The last one was Irish,
And this one was stylish.
Next week's viewing I can guarantee.

Anyone can criticize a bad game. Not as many can do it eloquently. And only Yahtzee can critique in anapestic meter. You have earned my respect. Keep up the Good work!

well bravo, that actully ot a fiar amount of information across.

I registered just to say how fantastic this review was. You Go Yahtzee!!!. A Review in poem form and a good review.


Yahtzee, I love the limerick lol. And I love how you gave it a "rating" just for the limerick. You need to really do this more often lol. So funny

Was sad not to see the Dark Knight,
But still watched it and to my delight,
Found this episode great,
But now sadly must wait,
For Batman's time in the spotlight.

Very entertaining review, though. I expected you to drop the limerick thing after the first minute or so, but you just kept going and I can't help but wonder how long that took to write.

Meh I give it 3 stars out of 5, its not THAT generic and I love the main hub design and secrets, nothing I hate more than a overly generic one way 8 hour

The most annoying thing(besides it looking like a 5 year old game) is enemy HP they die to easily making the thing easy, the next annoying thing upgrades are not that well balanced either.... other than that its better than bioshock/halo ep 3 as far as SP goes.....oh ya I can be a crashy blighter too...

I been screwing with enemy HP and stuff trying to make it a bit more fun

A poetic review of a bad game...this has got to be history in the making!

Actually, it occurs to me to bring this up right about now:

Yahtzee, in case you didn't notice: Yes. There was a franchise apocalypse where both Friday the 13th and Star Trek were concerned. (Final Destination never actually had one, it was just that lousy to begin with.) So the studios decided to reboot those franchises.


another amazing video, *sigh* i love watching these in my freetime

*claps* A true poet enocore! although I did like. I lovethe level design was cool with the little town you can just ramm nazis all you want with the death beam the actign was okay but I agree with the rest. plus multi player was weak. anywho I was expecting batman too. maybe next week a clown will leap out and cover us all in poo.

.... downside to listening to poetry. XP sorry

Fucking brilliant! Smart choice to review the game strictly in poetic form while keeping his trademark lightning-fast razor-sharp wit as the focal point of his review.

*two thumbs of approval*

That was the best review yet. Yahtzee just won the internet.

that was just dumb because wolfenstein is quite fun so suck on bum because i dont care what you say.

Awesome, one of the best so far!

My gods, what a wonderful vid
A brilliant gimmick he did
'Twas something quite sublime in
Yahtzee's comic timing
I giggled like a little kid.


It was not even the the creator of the genre (FPS, that is). The originator of it all was not even a PC game. It was "Marathon", a game that was only for the... Mac.

Dissent. I'm quite sure Bungie's Marathon came at least a year after Doom, which itself post-dates Wolfenstein-3D by about 18 months. Marathon used the same "2.5D" techniques that Doom did, but added a few goodies Doom didn't have, such as the ability to (sorta-kinda) look up and down. So, Wolfenstein, AFAIK, was one of the earliest FPS games.

...Unless you're going to drag Battle Zone and Elite into the discussion.

Yep, you appear to be completely correct. I checked up a few places and the release dates show Wolfenstein was released two years previously (in 1992).
Around 5 or 6 years ago I read (from similar web sites as the ones I used to check those release dates today), that "Marathon" had been the pioneer and etcetera, etcetera. PC Gaming web sites mind you. So the info was so interesting that it stuck with me. And I used it incorrectly, as it was back then.
"Marathon" was released in 1994.


I made a bet to myself that this week it would be Batman ... I lost beer.

I thought so too... Man!

At the credit screen it says that Batman's up for next week.

Ben, you are a poet and a genius.

I logged in to write my own rhyme
It just felt appropriate this time
But alas, I'm no poet
(You must surely know it)
For I've run out of words I can rhyme!

Oh my GOD. That would've taken all week.

And a SCORE! Yahtzee, you've ruined yourself!

Although I don't expect him to read page 14.


Yahtzee you are truely a poet.

And he didn't even know it.

at least he didnt blow it

Wow, good job. An entire review in a poetic format. I loved it. I was gauging the meters waiting for you to screw up, but you didn't. Very good. Way to spice up the review industry. Of course, this means that next week you are going to have to review it in iambic pentameter.

holy hell...he gave it a score....2 stars...

But he did it in Limerick form, which makes it ok.


Yahtzee was amazing, but so are some of the posters responding with limericks.

I, for my part, would love to try, but I dropped English way yonder back and limericks is just a faint memory.

This one was awesome! Last week was the Irish accent, this week it was poetry! Where do your talents end Yahtzee?

Nice one! Yahtzee gives the non-natural-english-speakers a hard time recently, but well, i'll just watch it 3 times, then i'll get it.

That was some awesome limericking that was. Bravo Yahtzee!

Even the meter is on. Gotta say. I'm impressed. Well done, and way to keep it original. It was much appreciated.

Good rhymes.

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