Zero Punctuation: Halo: Reach

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Speaking of seat belts that's one thing that continually pissed me off about this game. Why is it that no matter what vehicle you're in, you can get killed before the vehicle does? Even the friggin AA cannon. It's friggin retarded. And yes I realize it's a game play thing, but it's the single stupidest thing about this universe. Anyone heard of an armoured crew compartment.

The exception being of course the space fighter. But that doesn't really count.

The AA cannon is the only annoying thing. And that won't happen if you're careful or are not playing on legendary. But anyway, it's not really a thing about the universe, it's a gameplay thing, as you said. Besides, most vehicles reduce the damage you take. I don't really mind, if the vehicle blowing up kills me, then it kills me. if I die and the vehicle blows up, then I die. Either way I'm dead...

"Who Can Die the Noblest Death" competition?
I'd definitely end up dead last in that...
(no pun intended with the word "dead")

Recall that he has said that he really enjoys Team Fortress 2. I'm starting to think he might enjoy Halo a lot more if there were no single player campaign. Basically, if there's a single player mode, he's going to judge it based on that and the multiplayer is just extra. If a game is meant to be ABSOLUTELY nothing but multiplayer, then that's the only thing he can judge it on.

I know, someone else pointed that out so I clarified it. But you can't judge a game on only one aspect is what I was saying. If there's a multiplayer option, at least try it out. A game that focuses on multiplayer but has a single player like Borderlands isn't being fairly judged when the main selling point isn't even properly tried out.

I am frankly amazed that Yahtzee did this, considering how bleh he was about Halo 3 and Halo Wars.

Also, I LIKED Oni.

Oni was O.K. :P

Heh. I can't argue with the review. (Others I could, but meh.) I played through single player with a friend and it was good. I ruined the ending for him though. It showed his helmet at the beginning but I lasted longer at the end. I created a Time Paradox and made it show my helmet at the end instead of his.

As funny as it was, I feel kinda bad.

Halo: Reach suffers from prequel syndrome. We all went in knowing the noble team was gonna die. So that means many of us (including me and my friend) were counting down to the next Noble Sacrifice. The only death that really wasn't all that noble was the robot armed woman, who just kinda got shot because she was on the radio too long.

*EDIT* Honestly, I did enjoy the story mode/campaign. It's a well written and told story, only hampered by the fact that it came out last instead of first. *End EDIT*

Personally, I give it an 8/10 and recommend it for a weekend with a friend (Co-op is fun) rental.

spunking distance should be added to the metric system in replacement of meters.

I thot it was actually really fun, a fitting end to what will always b the true halo franchise b4 microsoft undoubtubly digs it up and buttfucks the hole thing.

Come on yahtzee, at least play firefight. You don't have to play it online just get some of your friends around and play it. It's not fair to the developers. They spent all this time and effort developing this game mode that you won't even look at.

I know yahtzee doesn't like multiplayer because, amongst other things, the fact that the online games will be deserted at some point as new games come out. I say chuck the whole random online thing and just play with friends. It's a hell of a lot better than listening to the angry, foul mouthed teens shout in your ear.

nice updated chief helmets
(as a side note, just bought Mogworld!)

Actually, (I may be wrong) they do have magnetic components in their armor..its how they "holster" their weapons when not in use :P

I know, that's what i was exagerrating.

Reviews like this about a game like Halo Reach reminds me of the odd paradoxical thinking of haters and fans alike. Apparently being popular is a bad thing on here and people keep saying that Halo Combat Evolved and it's sequels and it's one prequel are generic game with no outstanding features, then how the hell did it get so damn popular? Because MS said, "Hey, this Halo game is really cool, go play and worship it like some mouth-breathing troglodyte."

Apparently they must being doing something right or does noone remember what the great and infallible Yahtzee said about GoW 2: "Sometimes things are popular for a reason: because they're good." I don't like the Halo series because I was told to, I like it because of how the gameplay, the story, and the general local and music mesh into an experience unique to me. This changes between people with all different sorts of games. However those who spout their opinions as gospel true are dead wrong. Saying Halo Reach is a generic shooter and that is a fact, is dead wrong. Why is this so? Because there are plenty of people who think otherwise. You're trying to disguise your opinion as fact to try and get others to accept it.

Oddly enough, I haven't seen anyone on here say Halo Reach is the best game ever and I've read a significant portion of this thread, and yet there are some who are vehemently spewing bile on the game, apparently to teach those who are calling Halo Reach the best game EVAR a lesson. I think they protest a little too much.

I'm a pretty old fan of the Halo series and one could justify calling me a halo fanboy since I do own the novels. Does that mean I think every Halo game is the pinnacle of gaming? Holy Hell, no! The series as a whole has plenty of problems. As a fan aka one who has played the games to the Nth degree, I'll gladly point them out in order of release.

Halo 1: Has the least of the problems, but they do exist. Mainly in the form of the Library level, which is many Halo fans perception of Hell, miles of identical corridors with the Flood appearing from every conceivable angle. It also introduces the annoying ass hell rocket Flood who possess uncanny aiming abilities despite their heads are at an almost 90 degree angle from where they should be. The darkness of this level does not help in the early identification of these bastards. It is also here where we learn that the carrier form's explosion can cause a chain reaction amongst the many frag and plasma grenades littering the floor after a firefight. Also the levels, the Two Betrayals and the Maw are retreads of the Assault on the Control and the Pillar of Autumn levels only now with more Flood and Sentinels, flying bastards with beam weapons. Joy.

Halo 2: Everything is freaking shiny, even the hairy ass brutes which is rather disturbing as these big muscled hairy bear/gorillas thins looks like they were just covered in vaseline. Also the assault rifle from Halo 1 which was an ok jack of all trades weapons with a nice 60 round clip has been replaced with the SMG which sound like a drawn out fart with fired. Weak. Actually most of the sound in Halo 2 were pretty wimpy compared to the first. Also H2 brings us the joy dealing with the Flood much earlier on except with only just Covenant weapons. Early on most Halo fans learned that energy weapons slaughtered the shields of the covenant elites and was pretty good at putting grunts down as well. They're also pretty good against Sentinels, which makes since and is a godsend since those bastards are annoying. Conversely, human weapons being entirely projectile based faired really well against the Flood. guess what happens when you face the Flood with only Covenant energy weapons is like. Yeah, annoying as hell. Now draw that out over two levels. Speaking of weapons, many lamented the lose of the awesome pistol from the first game. Many of us learned just how much the new version sucked when we first fough the Hunter and went in with our pistols expecting the classic one shot kill we'd pulled on Hunters in the first game only to learn A) the pistol is now weak as hell and B) Hunters can now bitch-slap you with that giant shield of theirs, often for an instant kill. Many hated the two storylines, I for one liked the fleshing out of the Covenant, though I too was not fond the the now English-speaking Elites. Also there are exceedingly easy to miss Jackal snipers now. Fun.

Halo 3: Bland and boring with some fun parts. The vaunted size of the Ark level works against it when your vehicle has been destroyed by a stray explosive and you're stuck hiking around with only a few enemies to take it out on. However, many enjoyed fighting the monstrous scarabs which is one of the high points of the game. Which is almost completely countered by the dreaded return of the Flood who come back stronger than ever with the new Pure forms which can switch between 3 forms, a Tank form which can lay down a beating with a giant mace like arm and take stupid amount of ammo to down, a spider form only really good for crawling everywhere including the walls and ceilings, which is particularly annoying when coupled with the third form which is stationary, but launches volleys of fairly damaging spines, which means you can clear a room of normal, annoying Flood only to get mowed down by the bastards hanging on the ceiling behind you. Also they can mutated existing marines into more Flood and can resurrect already dead combat forms which hadn't been properly gibbed.

Halo 3 ODST: A short campaign with one new mode sold with pre-existing content that had been DLC as full price. Many were those who were pissed. The characters aside from the never speaking Rookie and the Covenant Engineer known as VRGL (pronounced as Vergil for some reason) are pretty damn annoying, not to mention cliched as hell. After the first 10 seconds after being introduced to Romeo, I loathed him. I also rather hated how the whole romance thing between the Squad's commander and the Naval intelligence officer somehow over shadowed the whole "Earth has been freaking invaded by the Covenant and partially glassed" I also hated the plothole where the NI woman bitch-slaps Nathan Fillion (the commander, Mikey and Dutch also being played by Firefly characters) for abandoning the mission that she never told him about in the first place. Nice job checking your story for holes, Bungie.

Halo Reach: I like this game, and as a true fan I'm gonna expose it's weak points to the world. First, the story is rather skimpy on how a 27 kilometer ship managed to get close enough to Reach in the first place to get cloaked by the ground-based spires. Seems like an awfully hard thing to miss. Second, in one scene they have a Frigate come in to destroy a cloaking and teleportation Spire, they mention the ship's main gun is going to be used and talk about how loud it's going to be, even going as far as to have the commander say, "Hold on to your teeth!" And then!....nothing. The ship fires and instead of an awe-inspiring blast of sound, there's kinda of a puny sound recycled from Halo 2's massive MAC platform. Weak, very weak. Also as Yahtzee mentioned, the space battles were in just one short, yet awesome mission. More of those would have been awesome. Actually, Halo Reach is pretty sound all around, the biggest problem is that it could've pushed more a little more content and have been a truly great game for all to play, not just the fans of the series and fans of shooters. There's one mission where you're driving a osprey-analog vehicle around a city and suddenly huge covenant ships fly in pull off the most epic drift ever and then proceed to glass several square miles of the city once in position. The immense heated needed to liquidate several square miles of city as well as the planet's crust should've sent off immense windstorms. It would've have been a neat mechanic to have to move your Falcon (osprey-analog) behind cover to avoid getting horribly mutilated by the winds. It'd also been pretty cool to watch the enemy Banshee's get ripped apart by said winds.

Ok, random massive review and text wall aside, I find it a fun game. I applaud it for omitting the freaking Flood entirely and for giving me a fun campaign experience as well as a fun multiplayer to play as well.

Oh and to those saying the characters are cardboard cut-outs character wise and yet hold Half-Life 2 up as the best game ever have no room to talk as long as Gordon Speechless Freeman exist. Also kudos to those who've found out it is possible to like more than one game franchise. If half of what has been said here is true, then I too can't exist since I love Halo as well as several other franchises.

So now we have Yahtzee's opinion on the Move. Hopefully he'll have a more in depth and laugh-filled video on it.

I thot it was actually really fun, a fitting end to what will always b the true halo franchise b4 microsoft undoubtubly digs it up and buttfucks the hole thing.

It's quite amazing how well that typo/misspelling worked.

Yes, Yahtzee, it actually was an original ending... two years ago, when FFVII: Crisis Core did it.

He never said it was original. In fact, it plays just about every 'Last Stand' trope to a t. He said he liked it because it was a nice example of gameplay and story working to together to get a message across.

On Halo: Reach, and Halo in general, I find it a fascinating series because it's so... average. Like, Joe from Idiocracy average. The story, the gameplay, the characters, set pieces, weapons, vehicle sections, innovations... all remarkably unremarkable. Whether that's a bad thing or not I'll leave for my fellow consumers to decide, but I know for a fact that Bungie is better than this. Oni wasn't half bad.


Oh and to those saying the characters are cardboard cut-outs character wise and yet hold Half-Life 2 up as the best game ever have no room to talk as long as Gordon Speechless Freeman exist.

Freeman exists solely as an avatar with which the player projects them-self into the game. The supporting cast, on the other hand, are some of the best in the history of video games.

The Spartan PC I'm willing to forgive because they serve the same function as Freeman(Though I wish Bungie would commit and make them shut the fuck up), but the lack of characterization in the supporting cast is utterly inexcusable. When you have a character driven narrative, the characters that drive it need to be well developed, dammit!

lol he forgot about Halo ODST

Wow, I expected to need my extra think skin, but I only needed my unpapercutable skin. BTW, yeah, most of the fanbase is a bunch of fucktards.

People don't need seat belts in Halo because of artificial gravity and/or some other advanced and vague technology.

Actually, it's not advanced or vague. It's... magnets. Yeah, the armor can be magnetic.

Is that a Babylon 5 reference, or just a random crazy noise?

Well, I agree with Yathzee. The first was good when it was what it was, but most of 2 was a rehash and then 3 was a joke, ODST was a piss off of a joke, and Reach is a butcher of the Story that was the first one and the book called "Halo Reach". They butcher it!

Come on yahtzee, at least play firefight. You don't have to play it online just get some of your friends around and play it. It's not fair to the developers. They spent all this time and effort developing this game mode that you won't even look at.

Agreed, he'd get a sadistic pleasure out of Gruntpocalypse.

He didn't completely hate it? That's a bit surprising.
No real excitement over this one.

hey look

the n word

That last "Gay-Lo" line in the video is something I actually, word for word said at the Halo Reach Midnight release. Seeing rows of pissy fanboys was hilarious.

Well yes, I am nuts, thank you for noticing. Great review man, keep up the good work. Us crazy people are rooting for you.

For the record, I loved the game.
This was a fantastic review and I loved every minute of it, even when Yahtzee called me a cunt! :P

Okay, I will truly out myself. I am a Halo Fan. I enjoy just about every part of the Halo Series and as I write this, my twin black cats are chewing on my Noble Team Statue. (Down Dammit!) Stupid cats.... But I digress. I had quite a few problems with the plot though.

Halo opened up a new genre of the FPS, it introduced us to new graphics and an actual story behind why we are killing things that don't look like us.... Hmmmmm Bungie? It introduced us to the Plasma pistol and the almighty pistol. Hooray. When we were back then, the graphics were amazing, we look back now and we think, wow, the Gamecube still can't reach those graphics. Fail

Halo2 began as hmmm, Master Chief who was floating in space in a crappy non-Slipspace fighter, somehow makes it back to Earth, along with the every present Sgt. Johnson. After many one-liners and chuckles from the tough-as-nails-Marine. I wondered, How the hell did they make it back to Earth? I then shook my head and jumped into the gameplay. Golly! Master Chief through all his training, learned how to pick up.....TWO weapons at the same time! WOW. IT just blew my mind. The Graphics improved slightly now becoming slightly more detailed,(Look at the knee pads) and the weapons traded in the Assault Rifle for the Triple delight of the Battle Rifle. We don't mention the pistol....

Halo 3, ummmm. Ending. Weak. Many things got an overhaul including the introduction of Forge Mode which allowed players to build their own crap. The Dual wielding was quickly abstained by the overpowering greatness that was the Battle Rifle. The Assault rifle made another appearance, but it was only seen as a Noob weapon. Example: You are 900 meters away with a Battle Rifle, a player spawns and starts firing at you with an Assault Rifle. Does it do damage, Yes, will it kill you? If you don't suck, it wont.

Halo Wars was seen by many in the Halo community as a fail, but they failed to notice several of the advantages of taking on the Covenant from a more strategic point of view. Yes, all of us wanted to recreate Patton and throw multiple canister shells into an attacking Scarab. Halo wars introduced us to the beautiful Grizzly tank, the elegant and cheaply made Sparrowhawk, and the luxury of calling down ODSTs when necessary. The game was good, until Boosters came in and as usual decided to screw the game for the legit players.

Halo ODST, was the worst game that I have spent money on to own. I regret having the game disc among my collection of Halo games. It had good graphics through, but I was irritated to quest around a darkened city living through multiple ODSTs in order to discover the final battle. God Rookie say something! I disagree with the person above, Romeo was a great character, he actually showed character through the terrible writing of the game. Not having shields and only "Stamina" and the fastest I could move was a shuffle step, *Sigh* I don't like to talk about it. Firefight was a joke because it was only available through inviting friends. I enjoy how they suckered clients back to ODST with Halo Waypoint and the promise of being on Halo Reach's Beta.


The Books/ The story, seriously, what the hell. You tell us that there were orbital platforms and what not on Reach, but somehow, a damn Corvette/Frigade/Supercarrier somehow makes its way onto the surface and starts crapping out troops. Hmmm. Okay, there was no mention of the Admiral Whitecomb or defending the generators. Hell, WTF happened to the Spartan II's that were supposed to be on the surface? Well, hell, I guess the story of Fred and Kelly was just Whatever..... I was under the impression that all the Spartan III's were on Onyx or were already deployed and were dead. Also, seriously what happened to JUN? That Sniper just up and jetted. He never died, he just disappeared with Dr. Halsey.

Dementium: The Ward. Its like Doom meets Silent Hill

Yeah, I'll rent it. I can't believe some people actually reacted ti this game just like Egoraptor's Awesome Reach (look it up). This is NOT going to be the end of Halo, and there's something wrong with people who think otherwise.

One last thing, Escapsit. Please, please, please, please, PLEASE stop with that stupid Slim Jim commercial. I know they're giving you money, but can you please just put a banner ad or soemthing? It's too long, it's stupid, it's geared to six year olds, and it definatly doesn't make me want to buy any. Frankly, I'm insulted everytime I see it, and I have to put up with it almost every time I watch a damn movie here. I go on this site everyday, but I'm concidering stopping if this keeps up and I'm probably not the only one.

Slim... Jim...?

Maybe I'm missing something, but there ain't no Slim Jim commercials 'round these parts.

This forum is fanboy bait :D
And i'm shocked he "kinda" enjoyed it.

I got kicked out of the library today because of the first joke. Got me totally off guard.

Classic.. Half Life 2, a classic? Hahaha. Cool story bro.

The gameplay was changed up quite a lot this time (Reach)around, but you have to play on the higher difficulties to enable the improved AI. On legendary, up to 4 jackals will form a phalanx with their shields if you don't pick them off quickly when they're together, and hunters will fight back to back in order to protect the exposed Lekgolo (orange worms) if you assail them in legendary co-op!

Also, an amendment to one of Yahtzee's criticisms; the elites charging when you're reloading without your allies nearby- when they think they stand a reasonable chance of cutting your nipples off- is a vast improvement on the old state of affairs. This is something about Reach which brings the bar up- it's not a fault of any kind.

Entertaining critique, but a *bit* Valve fanboyish even for you. (A Valve fanboy cannot objectively review a Bungie game. Real true fact.)

I don't know why everyone's saying he didn't hate it. Did they forget at the beginning he said he could barely enjoy the 'horrible plot, cliched characters and repetitive gameplay'?

He did say he was somewhat impressed by the ending being a good mix of gameplay and story and that he felt charitably inclined to it because it didn't have cover based shooting and iron sight firing, but almost everything else was negative (humans familiar with Covenant tech, fleeting variety, lack of innovation in favour of sticking with the money making Halo formula and that it wasn't even in 'spunking' distance of classic territory apparently represented by Half Life 2 (must resist urge to gush over Valve))

I admit he didn't burn the game as much as most of the others, but he didn't burn Halo 3 either. He just said it was average, and I assume he thought this was a little bit above. And no, I'm not trying to piss anyone off, I just don't see why every thinks he likes the game because he pretty much said it was OK.

You already made the "Hello, Goodbye" pun on the Halo 3 video... or was that intended...

I am actually surprised that he didn't tear it apart, but I still think that saying "a game has to stand up on single player alone" is a very silly statement. So is the quality of an MMO diminished because there's no mode to grind quests by yourself?

You can solo in MMO's but that is against the gameplay idea of a MMO. If I buy a game with only multi-player mode that is what I paid for, if I buy a game that only has single-player mode that is what I paid for. If I buy a game that contain both game-types I assume both of them being equal in quality. If I buy a bucket of grapes and half of them are spoiled of course I am going to be disappointed, and saying "At least half grapes are good" is not going to fix it. I paid for full bucket.

You already made the "Hello, Goodbye" pun on the Halo 3 video... or was that intended...

I am actually surprised that he didn't tear it apart, but I still think that saying "a game has to stand up on single player alone" is a very silly statement. So is the quality of an MMO diminished because there's no mode to grind quests by yourself?

of course a game should be able to stand up on single player. not everyone wants to play online with 12 yr old kids with quicker reflexes than a cat, sometimes people just want to unwind and be able to zone out and have their own experience where they dont have to worry about other online idiots...

OT: im suprised yahtzee had the balls to actually admit some good points of this game instead of senselessly bashing it the whole way through.

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