No Right Answer: Best Secret Identity Ever

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Therumancer:

canadamus_prime:
[
Ok, saying everyone who works in movies is a moron is more than a little harsh, but certainly many of them that are tasked with adapting things from one medium to another tend to miss the point of many key elements of the source material. Case in point, secret identities.

You'd be right if this wasn't a recurring problem, and one that has been addressed before. As I pointed out in my rant those involved in the movies have had this kind of question raised numerous times, and have answered flat out about why they insist on showing the actor's face in movies where they shouldn't be doing so. It's not like it happened once or twice, and then Hollywood caught on after lengthy explanations about why this doesn't work with the characters, and then changed. It's pretty much a matter of movie-makers deciding they are going to do what they are going to do, and pretty much F@ck the fans, because they think they know what's going to work better than anyone else does. Especially seeing as they will be quick to point out they aren't making these movies for fans, they think that if they put Stallone in a movie, people want to see it's Stallone doing the stuff, not Judge Dredd's helmet and Stallone's jaw (as it should be) and how "people" want to see that it's Toby Mcguire [SP] or whomever, as opposed to jut a CGI cartoon or some anonymous stuntman in a full body suit.

As a result I stand by my very harsh comments and judgements here. They aren't missing the point, they are intentionally trampling on it. This kind of thing has been a long-standing problem when it's come to adapting super heroes and such to movies, Hollywood having been resistant to the idea of selling the character, as opposed to selling the actor who happens to be playing a character. The idea being that the people who went to see the first "Judge Dredd" movie were there for Stallone for example, not to (OMG) actually see Judge Dredd.

Incidently I'll also say on a side note, that is is why I think they decided to do "The Avengers" the way they did. None of the characters involved are really big on "Secret Identities" which is why it worked. They outed Iron Man right from the beginning to avoid that whole issue (which DID happen in the comics). Captain America's identity hasn't really been a true secret for quite a while in the comics, and really the only one notably really missing his costume/mask for the most part is Hawkeye since Cap still puts his on for the fighting since 90% of when he's around it's not an issue.

This is also arguably going to be one of the problems with doing say "The Justice League" because it's going to more notably involved Hollywood's epic fails with the genere because a lot of the Justice League characters not only keep secret identities, they are also very serious about it, with it being a big deal for them that other members of the League know who they are where the world at large doesn't (and I believe there are a few members whose identities are secret even from the league, with their wishes being respected, mostly when dealing with those who stop in occasionally or act as reservists). The exact Avengers roster allowed them to work around that, with Justice League it's going to be a little more of an issue unless they just keep it to the big 3 in which case Batman would be the only one wearing an actual mask.

Ok you're right. They are morons. After all one of the most fundamental rules for doing anything for public consumption, whether it be public speaking or making a movie or video game, or book or whatever, is you have to consider your audience. So if your audience repeatedly tells you that what you're doing is stupid, then you really need to stop doing that.

I think them using Spider-Man was incredibly unfair. I mean with the awful third movie and the 'Amazing' Spider-man movie, I cannot think of a more weighted arguement. Hell, in 'Amazing' Spider-man movies, you know how the Grren Goblin can stop Spider-man? He can stopp selling the damn web-fluid!!!

Is it really a secret identity if tony stark basically blantantly walks around saying "hey, um, I'm iron man." besides, its not like its not obvious who iron man in. "Oh Gee,iron man has a big ass glowing thingi n his chest. Hey, how was stark's last physical? And doesnt he have like, a shit ton of money he can basically through around and more or less owns the military R&D?"

I mean in the second movie he did it inf ront of a full nascar crowd. and you cant tell me they were all captured by shield and MiB brain wiped.

No Right Answer was a good title for this show because it seems that there's always a lot of disagreement in the comments.
They know the internet well but the main point it's still amusing, so keep them coming =]

MrCollins:
No mention of.... I think it's Captain Marvel (SHAZAM), feel free to correct me, but the one whose secret identity is that he is a ten year old kid. Now that there is the best.

Exactly and even if the villain makes him drop his disguise, just how many people know Billy Batson?

As for the worst, at least Batman wears a mask and at least Clark Kent's face is very local.
There are several superheroes, who do not wear masks and yet are well known internationally (I seem to recall that both Vixen and Fire work as photo-models) and should therefore be very easily recognisable.

Silliest episode ever. And I loved every second of it.

You both lost. Kill Bill was wrong about Superman (except for the new Earth 1 Superman by JMS). And Tony had a secret ID for longer than he didn't.

I agree with Batman's ID being the worst though.

Therumancer:
I'm just going to say that I don't think this one was very well analyzed in one paticular area: Batman. See the thing that is being overlooked in the entire arguement is that Bruce Wayne isn't the only rich guy in Gotham, he's just a sort of local hero whose family was famous for doing a lot of charity work. There are tons of other rich dudes that he hob nobs with, and tons of other corperations/businesses that his company works with or competes with.

How many of those guys are the same build as Batman? Right age? Proper motivation? Enough time while growing up completely unaccounted for so he can get his training? Whose companies would actually be capable of hiding the RIGHT kind of equipment? Who travels whenever Batman is sighted off Gotham? Who adopts kids whenever Batman gets a teen sidekick?

Here's the thing, anyone investigating this, would start with rich, right build, right age. And top of the list is Bruce (as the RICHEST man in Gotham). And the thing about ANY secret identity is if you start to scrutinize it long enough, you WILL find too many coincidences. Most super heroes keep their ID by simply having NOTHING to do with their civilian persona. See the Luthor/Flash moment above. Bruce is too high profile and too closely related to Batman (same city, same income, same build) for it to hold.

The Deadpool:

Therumancer:
I'm just going to say that I don't think this one was very well analyzed in one paticular area: Batman. See the thing that is being overlooked in the entire arguement is that Bruce Wayne isn't the only rich guy in Gotham, he's just a sort of local hero whose family was famous for doing a lot of charity work. There are tons of other rich dudes that he hob nobs with, and tons of other corperations/businesses that his company works with or competes with.

How many of those guys are the same build as Batman? Right age? Proper motivation? Enough time while growing up completely unaccounted for so he can get his training? Whose companies would actually be capable of hiding the RIGHT kind of equipment? Who travels whenever Batman is sighted off Gotham? Who adopts kids whenever Batman gets a teen sidekick?

Here's the thing, anyone investigating this, would start with rich, right build, right age. And top of the list is Bruce (as the RICHEST man in Gotham). And the thing about ANY secret identity is if you start to scrutinize it long enough, you WILL find too many coincidences. Most super heroes keep their ID by simply having NOTHING to do with their civilian persona. See the Luthor/Flash moment above. Bruce is too high profile and too closely related to Batman (same city, same income, same build) for it to hold.

Not really, Batman is actually a fairly normal, if athletic, looking guy. People don't even know what his hair color is. What's more DC is a universe that is already full of all kind of super geniuses and guys waltzing around with ultra-tech. It's easy for us to project onto the thing and say "Well, this is really obvious when you look at it" but it's really not all that obvious, especially in the context of a universe where guys with secret identities go jetting around in battle armor and are still poor enough where robbing a bank is the best idea they can come up with to make money. Batman himself fights tons of gizmoteers with rather impressive technology (oftentimes better than his own) who aren't exactly billionaires.

The other thing to understand is that Bruce Wayne is played as a "Himbo" (male Bimbo). Nobody would ever expect Bruce Wayne to be able to invent this kind of technology. That's one key element that is missing from some versions of the character (especially when it comes to the Nolanverse). At the end of the day Batman's big "power" is that he's easily as smart as say OLD SCHOOL Lex Luthor and was supposed to be making all his own stuff, as opposed to having it manufactured by his corperation. Some writers diversified him a bit by saying he had people (like an idiot Savant guy called Hugo if I remember) but this misses the point that this is a guy who is able to say make a bullet capable of reversing The Flash's vibrations and taking him out if he was to try and phase through it, this was one of the gimmicks stolen by The League Of Assasin's in "Tower Of Babel" storyline for example. This is the kind of thing people see Batman do (come back for a rematch with exactly the perfect gizmo to take out the enemy that just stomped him), as a result people are probably going to be looking less at "who is really rich" and more at "who is really smart". Bruce Wayne is easily dismissed because to all apperances he's a complete moron (if a nice guy). People expect Bruce Wayne to be off on a constant bender. The same can be said of say Tony Stark, but the differance is that Tony wanders around telling everyone how great he is (to make another comparison), the only surprising thing about Tony is that you'd expect him to be a Super Hero in Marvel, since he acts like he should be, but denies he is one (even though he actually is). What's more given that the guy sits around (in the comics) producing weapons for the goverment, and justifies armored heroes like Iron Man as "his head of security" for example, it's not like he makes himself less of a target. To some extent I kind of figure half the reason why he went public is because for him it was pointless, it's not like his secret identity made him or Stark Industries less of a target.

To be honest though, while I was using the examples from the video, part of my point is that for all his problems (and yet they are there), there are far worse characters when it comes to this. It's just the video focused on highly iconic characters. The real morons probably weren't even considered to avoid doing an episode where anyone who wasn't a hardcore geek would go "Who Vs. Who"? I'd also imagine in the spirit of things comedy relief characters wouldn't be used either, for example by the very name "The Fat Fury" (also known as Herbie Popnecker, perhaps the most consistantly powerful super hero in all of comicsdom) it would kind of be excluded. Hence why I mentioned for a counter example "The Huntress" since she's a second stringer and people have generally heard of her nowadays.

Therumancer:
Not really, Batman is actually a fairly normal, if athletic, looking guy. People don't even know what his hair color is. What's more DC is a universe that is already full of all kind of super geniuses and guys waltzing around with ultra-tech. It's easy for us to project onto the thing and say "Well, this is really obvious when you look at it" but it's really not all that obvious, especially in the context of a universe where guys with secret identities go jetting around in battle armor and are still poor enough where robbing a bank is the best idea they can come up with to make money. Batman himself fights tons of gizmoteers with rather impressive technology (oftentimes better than his own) who aren't exactly billionaires.

Well, I'm not talking about random, nameless bystander. I'm talking about anyone ACTIVELY researching who Batman is (reporters, villains, etc).

Rule number 1 of detective work? Follow the money. Thanks to the federal government, money always leaves a trail. And whether you believe Batman makes everything he has in his basement BY HAND (design? Sure. MAKE? Bit much) the materials needed are all still expensive. Has to be someone with a large enough income that having THIS much missing isn't even noticeable. That drops the list by a LOT...

In the end of the day, anyone looking for a rich, athletic super hero is going to look at the richest athletic man in town first. Just because it's as good a place to start as any, no?

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