Zero Punctuation: Star Trek

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ViewFinder:
Well this shouldn't be a surprise as the pc version was reported to be inherently broken.

The co-op was, not everything. But yes, many issues and bugs. Still, performs better than XCOM:EU does post-launch on the PC, so that says something.

I'm rather disappointed (although glad now that I didn't buy it), as I was hoping Digital Extremes would offer another "neat but inherently flawed" game like darkSector. Instead, it seems we have another A:CM situation where they were so focused on another project (Warframe in this case) that they must have neglected this one. A real pity.

Parakeettheprawn:
Instead, it seems we have another A:CM situation where they were so focused on another project (Warframe in this case) that they must have neglected this one. A real pity.

At least they showed us the real, rough-looking, game in all the trailers.

i can't escape the feeling that Yahtzee has bee actively looking for games to hate. And that it's all Bioshock Infinite's fault. Since then he's reviewed a Wii U game, a 3ds port of an underwhelming Gamecube game (which surprisingly turned out to be all right, but it still gave him a chance to bitch about Mario), a fighting game and now a movie tie in game.

It's like all the hatred that he had to suppress to say he liked Bioshock, and to a lesser extent Luigi's Mansion, and has been welling up inside him desperately seeking some kind of release. If someone doesn't re-release Sim City on the Wii U or its rough equivalent then we might be facing a Yahtzee melt down pretty soon.

gphjr14:
I think what you should've done for 8 hours is play (and likely enjoy) Far cry Blood Dragon would've been cheaper and likely a better investment of your time. Since I thought we established last gen that these movie tie in games are just money grabs and usually suck.

Fair and balanced reviews of good games are the next aisle anyway, this here is a fast-talking Australian inventively shit-talking any and all flaws he can find within a given game.

I always enjoy the weeks where he's got his hands on an obviously obnoxious game - you just know it's going to sizzle.

Kmadden2004:
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand time;

The best Star Trek game ever made was Mass Effect...

If you've been wrong once, you've been wrong a thousand times, because Mass Effect and Star Trek have pretty much nothing in common beyond the very basic premise of space and lots of alien races. But that alone does not make them the same.

Ah..... Its about time, yahtzee hasn't flat out hated a game in what seems like far too long. Lately its mostly been either games he liked or games he just doesn't like the genre/subject of.

It is far past time we got another *good* Trek game. Personally, I'd either vote for Wrath of Khan-Undiscovered Country era (spiffy red uniforms!) like the Klingon Academy game, or something set between TNG and DS9. Post DS9 there are no real antagonists to speak of (Borg defanged, treaty with Dominion, Cardassia in ruins, Romulans lost their homeworld, etc) and personally, the NuTrek universe just doesn't have enough to stand on, and so far has only provided standard sci-fi action material-neither adding much in the way of anything new or being particularly faithful to the various old series, just riding on action and nostalgia. For me at least,it is uninteresting as a game setting.

As for types of games, I think we are in dire need of a TNG/DS9 era rpg. I don't care if I can't play as a captain and get stuck doing away missions or something, it's high time we got one. Star Trek is one of the cornerstones of Sci-fi and it is a crying shame to see it neglected so much, particulalry of late. while many of the games are good, somethign like 95% of them focus on either space combat or are shooters of some sort.

I dare not imagine what Hollywood thinks a TNG reboot should be like.

Cube1701:

Parakeettheprawn:
Instead, it seems we have another A:CM situation where they were so focused on another project (Warframe in this case) that they must have neglected this one. A real pity.

At least they showed us the real, rough-looking, game in all the trailers.

That is true, they didn't pull a TWD: Survival Instinct on us.

So... it's Sonic 06?

Yep. It's Sonic 06.

Set phasers to fuck

pow-piti-pow-to-pow-to-pow-piti-piti
[a failed attempt to write typical porn music]

So with Jason Statham being the new Picard, are they going to remodel the new Enterprise to look like the 2008 Audi A8? or are they just going to replace the captain's chair with it?

I'm honestly shocked that Yahtzee considered this game worthy of even acknowledging. It's a movie-licensed video game coming out before the movie even does. Of COURSE it's going to be complete rubbish! This has basically been recognised fact for the last 20+ years!

Arcane Azmadi:
I'm honestly shocked that Yahtzee considered this game worthy of even acknowledging. It's a movie-licensed video game coming out before the movie even does. Of COURSE it's going to be complete rubbish! This has basically been recognised fact for the last 20+ years!

+1 I thought he'd do Fire Emblem: Awakening, given that it's actually a good game for the 3DS.

How dare you make assumptions about my mother's cooking, Yahtzee!

Cracked up at Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as Wesley Crusher! Did not see that one coming!

b.w.irenicus:
Anyone remembers Birth of the Federation?

Ooo, I had that one. I ended up with a free CD of it somehow. Not quite up to MOO standards, but considering how few 4X games there actually are it really wasn't all that bad.

As for the topic, I would pay good money to see The Rock as Wesley Crusher.

Captcha: Describe this logo with any words. Yeah, I have no idea what the fuck that's supposed to be. Pretty sure captchas are supposed to check if I'm human, not American.

Kmadden2004:
The best Star Trek game ever made was Mass Effect...

nah the best Star Trek game was Star Trek: The Rebel Universe on Atari ST :P (jk)

on the subject of the older games mentioned in the review i'm a bit concerned as Elite Force 2 is actually currently installed on this PC and on my long term playlist as i liked the first...i thought Ritual did an alright job with the second and and now i'm worrying i was seriously misinformed :s

I almost spat my coffee out at "This is my listening gun."

Funny you'd call this the 'new Star wars game', cause when I first heard of Star Trek, I thought "What is that? Is it like Star Wars?"

Most Star Trek games are not very good. I like Star Trek Online after all the retooling that took place, but otherwise the games just don't fit the idea. Star Trek works well in the TV/even numbered movie market.

Ken_J:
The Rock as Wesley would be an improvment

I disliked Wesley as a teenager and now I despise him as an adult. He wasn't satisfied with ruining TNG, now he just wont go away.

CyborgGinger:
I don't think I've played a single good Star Trek game since I played Star Trek: 25th Anniversary... in 1992! What an excellent point-and-click adventure that was - I never got tired of its Red Shirt jokes.

The last time I tried to install it, it was sadly unplayable due to the animation speed seemingly tied to CPU clock speed. Which was fine when I played it the first time on a Pentium... not so good now. Damn, I really want to play that game again.

Have you tried playing it with the emulator called DOSBox?

Nunna ya young epstarts remember Hyperspeed (Microprose) or Space Quest V: The Next Mutation (Sierra Online), I suppose.

Good times. The best Trek games out there...until maybe FTL.

Dunno whatcher missin'

238U

When I saw the video title, I immediately thought of the Star Trek MMO. Anyway, this seems like a pretty standard movie tie-in game.

If they actually do reboot TNG, they'll more likely cast Beiber as a Wesley

You don't need to recast Picard. Patrick Stewart has maybe aged a fortnight in the 16 years since TNG first aired.

(Star T)rek

Start Rek

cannot un-see....

Didn't he like it? I get the vague feeling that Yahtzee didn't like it.

Also, this is the first review I've seen of Yahtzee's where the page of comments isn't full of people decrying how they only "Watch his videos for the comedy" because he tore apart a game they loved and he clearly "isn't a reviewer, just a comedian".

Why argue what the worst Star Trek game is? The answer is obviously ALL OF THEM.

I'm surprised no one as of yet has caught the biggest surprise here in this video...!

Yahtzee...! Have you and Chest-High Wall broken up? Are you selling that poor dame's lovingly taken nude photos she got for you, as if they were some cheap little trinket?! Where has all the love gone from last week?!

Also, how much for the photos? Just curious, as I've never actually seen anything more than her chest, I'm hoping she isn't a butterface...

captcha for today: Full Monty.
Why yes Captcha, Chest-High Wall might be getting a Full Monty very soon!

valium:
Why argue what the worst Star Trek game is? The answer is obviously ALL OF THEM.

That used to be the case until they worked to hard to make Elite Force not bad (essentially by making Half-Life in SPAAAAAAAACE!). Even the second one was okay.

The Starfleet Command series was pretty good. It was based, however on the tabletop game Star Fleet Battles the diegesis of which diverged from the Star Trek canon. Star Fleet in SFB is significantly more of a specialized military service (bearing fewer resources and responsibilities regarding scientific inquiry and exploration) than it is in Star Trek proper.

Final Unity was a decent point-and-click adventure, albeit with its rough edges. The ship was uncontrollable in the mini-game when I played it, but you can delegate around those sequences. The story actually feels like a Star Trek TNG plotline unlike other games in which the diegesis was shoehorned a bit into respective game genres.

Though it was not well liked by many, I was fond of DS9: The Fallen, a third-person jumper-shooter with climbing elements. This one had the first actually-useful tricorder which could detect life, structural weaknesses and clear transporter zones (at which you could get resupplied).

Then there was Star Trek Armada (the first one, not II) which was a halfway decent RTS. Not so, Star Trek: Away Team.

And then Star Trek: Bridge Commander was pretty great, and the one time that it really felt like you were sitting in The Chair.

238U

I'll ignore the crack on STO, though I suppose "it got a lot better a year after release" isn't much of a defense in an objective sense.

That said I would have been far more impressed if this game was actually good. To be honest I don't think much of the Star Trek reboot as I felt the script of the first one was really pushing the limits of belief within the constraints of it's own universe. It seems like since "Nemesis" was mediocre they felt the need to pretty much toss all the continuity out the door and create an even bigger monstrosity, honeslty with the new cast and the demographic the JJ Abrams movies seem to be going for, I think "Bro Op" oddly fits with in with a game attached to that franchise.

So basically a "meh" alternative universe, spawning a terrible game... pretty much status quo.

I do think Jason Statham as Picard would be awesome in an absurd way though, the stuff of a good satire rather than an actual reboot. :)

SonOfVoorhees:
Spock should be awesome for stealth as he has that vulcan neck thing. Well this game just looks like a crap fps game that some one made a Star Trek mod for. I think they need someone like Bioware to make the next Trek game more about diplomacy than about shooting everything in the face.

Why bother, when the movie it's based on is about shooting everything in the face anyway?

CyborgGinger:
I don't think I've played a single good Star Trek game since I played Star Trek: 25th Anniversary... in 1992! What an excellent point-and-click adventure that was - I never got tired of its Red Shirt jokes.

The last time I tried to install it, it was sadly unplayable due to the animation speed seemingly tied to CPU clock speed. Which was fine when I played it the first time on a Pentium... not so good now. Damn, I really want to play that game again.

You know 25th Anniversary had a brilliant sequel...don't you?

valium:
Why argue what the worst Star Trek game is? The answer is obviously ALL OF THEM.

Judgment Rites was not just one of the best Star Trek games but one of the best video games period.

The hypothetical sexy Next Generation reboot made me cringe and wretch a bit. Yahtzee proves further his credentials as a horror writer.

The best Star Trek Game ever is the 25th Anniversary Adventure Game. Space Combat, diplomacy, and problem solving. Just not a great action game on the ground. Second best is Star Control 2.

Mass Effect was okay - except NO SPACE COMBAT.

FTL is definitely closer.

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