Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty 4

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mike81:

You criticized (in one way or the other) every single game you've review, even the ones you really liked (such as bioshock); and yet you praise CoD4 like its' the next coming of Christ.

He was really positive this week and didn't seem to be that into it, but he actually put CoD4 squarely behind Jesus and Portal.

Continue to impress me and I might just start sending you money for the "laughgasms" you give me.

Another brilliant Zero Punctuation, but you could almost feel the strain of Yahtzee squeezing out the critique. Ah, I do so love the smell of uneasy criticism.

--

Review: Unreal 3 - rinse and repeat.

ComradeJim270:

Allan Foe:

liberalfascism:

... stereotypical insecure America-hating nonsense.

Oh surprise surprise, some people in this world don't like a certain military superpower and it's politics. And a certain web-comedian just happens to be one of those people. OUTRAGEOUS!

You'd think he'd have the mind to keep his mouth shut about his own views and preferences...

He wasn't really hating on the US, to be honest, rather, he was criticizing the fact that so many shooters do the exact opposite of hating on the US, going overboard with flag-waving patriotism and the like. I agree.

Can't say that I disagree. Have been to a lot of places but the us sure likes it patriotic bs willywaving. Even the likes of turkey and russia are nothing compared to it. One just takes notice. Nothing more nothing less. If we joke around with such issues, it's just that. Maybe it's a difference in culture or something but over here we just tend to take the mickey out of everything. Patriotism (especially when linked to religion) just about makes the biggest target for making jokes about (considering what a dumb concept it is). It doesn't mean we hate you. It isn't ww3. It doesn't even mean that you have a special place. We do it to everybody (read: Aussies ¬_¬) and everybody does it to us.

EDIT: The world would be such a nice place if we all just stopped taking ourselves so seriously.

Funny. Keep it up.

I see Godwin's Law effecting this thread briefly...
Anyway extreme patriotism is for rednecks. One thing is you like your country and other really different thing is to use your country flags as wallpapers on your house... Extremes have never been good...

Now, please, let's return to the topic... don't turn this into another "MOH:airboner review"

I've noticed in my viewings of ZP that Yahtzee has an excellent taste in music. I haven't heard one bad song from his openings or closings.

I'm shocked, Yahtzee. You missed the biggest flaw in any game I've seen recently;

THE WORST CHECKPOINT SYSTEM IN FPS HISTORY.

Other than that, it was a fine and dandy review.

Ha-HA!

Serves them all right for trying to tell Yahtzee what to do! :P

Shoot, I know I wouldn't like it...

Xerx3s:

EDIT: The world would be such a nice place if we all just stopped taking ourselves so seriously.

Yes, and it would also be a nice place if clouds were made out ice cream and it rained pudding but that isn't going too happen. The ability for people to take themselves too serious is the sheild that the six billion morons on this planet use so that they never have to admit they are morons.

Blah, I was expecting Yahtzee to note the insane throwing range of the enemies and how insanely stupid the AI is in general.

Overall, in my opinion, CoD4 is simply an above-average shooter with well coordinated scripted sequences. The single player was not entrancing for me. Once you beat the game, there really isn't anything else to see. There isn't even co-op. The enemies always run to their scripted points and repeat their usual pattern of popping out and shooting. Not only that, on the hardest difficulty level of CoD4, the game simply isn't fun. Legendary on Halo 3, or Hard with no Vita on Bioshock, or Superhuman Mode on Resistance was much more entertaining. I felt I was actually getting better at the game. In CoD4, you don't get this sense of accomplishment. The only way to beat CoD4 on veteran is to rush the enemy and hope you trigger the retreat response in your enemy.

Multiplayer is great, I must admit, but after you acquire all the accomplishments, guns, perks, what can you do? Prestige? :/

Mile High Club on Veteran with no help is brutal.

That was just awesome, lmao
from from pefect,

Potal...Jesus

Hilarious!

Did anyone besides me think that maybe the reason Yahtzee didn't want to review CoD4 is because he liked the game? Anyways, the reason I think he reviewed this game just for that last part where he could tell off the whiners.

I didn't particularly think this review was up to his last one, but it still was good. And he may have actually convinced me to tryout this game, something most other reviewers never have a chance at doing.

The US Marines don't "cock everything up", they actually carry out most of the fight, which is a reflection of reality. And the British don't "fix everything from behind", they engage in sapper missions and clear some paths but otherwise are just doing soldier work like everybody else.

*spoiler warnings ahead*

I partly agree with this and believe Yahtzee to be adding a bit too much of his world view into the story.

I don't see any attitudes of the Marines that deserved them to get nuked, save for that obnoxious black caricature. They were simply not portrayed as the righteous invincible supermen that always wins either.

Ultimately they were just men that did their job and were killed when US NEST teams failed to disarm the nuke, summed when Paul Jackson dies alone and almost as an afterthought in a holocaust despite all your adventures with him. I did not nor still do not see much political message.

The SAS were not supermen "fixing every thing covertly" either. Again, they were just men doing their duty in the face of trials and setbacks. They did in fact ultimately fail in their initial mission to capture Al-Asad before the nuke was engaged which cost thousands of lives. It's a bit hypocritical to both praise a game for not depicting the Americans as superior and then again for depicting the Brits as such.

I also must protest the depiction of the SAS as "psychotics"; if this is referring to their treatment of the Al-Asad character, it smacks a bit of cheeky moral absolutism. A pressured Price beats Al-Asad to get information on the nuke before it is used to kills thousands of innocents, which would be on his conscience. When this fails, he executes the (now worthless anyway) bastard as a knee-jerk reaction. There's far too much dilemma of a greyer nature in there to just call it all "psychotic" behavior.

Finally, yes, American jingoism and whining is very annoying, but I am not terribly fond of other nationalities, including in this thread, openly cheering the destruction of the Marines in this game either. In fact, I find it to be many things odious to me, including hypocriticial and needlessly inflammatory.

I fear this is going the way of MOH Airborne, but if so, so be it.

thebrink:
I've been avoiding this game because I was mostly done with COD after 3, which are fun games, but usually cater to the slower players that enjoy hiding behind a rock 99% of the time until it's safe to dash under the next rock, luckily placed 20 feet in front of first mentioned rock.

So what you're saying is that you've never played a COD game in your life.

renard:

Darkpen:
[quote=tsukihanyou]I wonder if I'm the only one that noticed that he had a picture of the movie Downfall. >.>

yeah, me too but... why the hell is this so strange? I can't understand the reason of the question...

Where I am, no one knows what Downfall is... *shrug*

Great review once again, not taking the top spot of my favs but it was certainly entertaining. You do seem to have put more effort/got better at flash, which was pretty cool. Agree with the statements about game pretty much, and like you said about Warcraft I think Call of Duty is about as good as fpsers are ever going to get.

"Anyway extreme patriotism is for rednecks."

Really? I find that the only people who say that are liberals who hate their country and just love telling everybody that.

Patriotism is nothing but love for your country. Being patriotic doesn't mean you never question anything, never try to fix problems, or are blind. It means your relationship is one of love and respect. Patriotism is something we should encourage, not continue to vilify.

And you seem to have missed the biggest point: you're playing a military shooter produced in the US. It never ceases to amaze me how America-haters (including liberals) are always railing on about US-produced entertainment being US-centric. How dare we? It's not like everybody else in the world produces entertainment that glorifies their beliefs and ideals.

Oh, wait. IT'S EXACTLY LIKE THAT.

How about if you want to see a game or movie that glorifies your country, race, gender, or other clique ... MAKE ONE?

Xerx3s:
Can't say that I disagree. Have been to a lot of places but the us sure likes it patriotic bs willywaving. Even the likes of turkey and russia are nothing compared to it. One just takes notice. Nothing more nothing less. If we joke around with such issues, it's just that. Maybe it's a difference in culture or something but over here we just tend to take the mickey out of everything. Patriotism (especially when linked to religion) just about makes the biggest target for making jokes about (considering what a dumb concept it is). It doesn't mean we hate you. It isn't ww3. It doesn't even mean that you have a special place. We do it to everybody (read: Aussies ¬_¬) and everybody does it to us.

EDIT: The world would be such a nice place if we all just stopped taking ourselves so seriously.

I imagine that at the height of the British empire, there were plenty of folks waving around Union Jacks the way many Americans wave around Old Glory. Now you've got the European Union, nations trying to work together closely, while the US maintains an attitude of independence and is very protective of its sovreignty, while having many interests abroad. Same thing, different country. It's also cultural, though that issue is more complex... and keep in mind that the US is HUGE, so many Americans never actually leave the country, and see others. Some states are the size of European countries.

Aaaanyway, RedPill is right about the checkpoint system, I can tell that without even playing the damn game. Any game that forces people to rely on checkpoints ought to take some flak for that.

His reviews are not exactly good for his opinion on a game (though he does make good points), but just for being a person with an audience and still saying things people would either not say, or could say a thousand times and never be heard.

I appreciate seeing someone actually being nitpicky about the convenient tricks used by game devs on all levels, be it story telling, character clichés, game mechanics, world design, marketing ploys, the underlying themes or else.

And of course, the sex jokes. Like it or not, but the industry seems to have aged one more year with those ZP reviews.

liberalfascism:
Patriotism is nothing but love for your country. Being patriotic doesn't mean you never question anything, never try to fix problems, or are blind. It means your relationship is one of love and respect. Patriotism is something we should encourage, not continue to vilify.

Like my history teacher says, "right or wrong, I love my country."

Also, everyone seemed to miss how ANTI-WAR this game is. "Score one for military intelligence /sarcasm." "Cost of a B2 Bomber: $1.2 Billion" etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.

Mr. Croshaw learned how to make flowing graphics apparently.

REDPill357:

liberalfascism:
Patriotism is nothing but love for your country. Being patriotic doesn't mean you never question anything, never try to fix problems, or are blind. It means your relationship is one of love and respect. Patriotism is something we should encourage, not continue to vilify.

Like my history teacher says, "right or wrong, I love my country."

Also, everyone seemed to miss how ANTI-WAR this game is. "Score one for military intelligence /sarcasm." "Cost of a B2 Bomber: $1.2 Billion" etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.

No, Yahtzee himself pointed that out, in a sort of roundabout way. The reason this game isn't all patriotic is that it's anti-war... which I suppose is patriotic under some senses of the word, but not the ones commonly used in the US nowadays.

I hate to break it to you, but this game is not anti-war. The game uses ironic commentary and a useless 'you are dead' scene to try to lend the war gravitas, but it still presents the conflict in a very pro-US (and allies) way, and you are still playing a war ... game.

BRILLIANT REVIEW!

I found this funny, though not for the reasons one may think. I just seriously enjoyed watching Yahtzee strain to find things that are wrong with the game and not have to admit that it was great, lest he would have to stab forks in his eyes as he said he would in the Orange Box review.

To be honest, a cliffhanger ending is bad, but proper team AI function is difficult to design for and slow reloads on certain guns are a fact of life, sadly.

You also forgot to mention the INSANE difficulty curve. "One Shot, One Kill" was a very appropriate name for that mission. You pretty much died over and over and over and over. And there were only two checkpoints in the last part, making it very annoying.

liberalfascism:
I hate to break it to you, but this game is not anti-war. The game uses ironic commentary and a useless 'you are dead' scene to try to lend the war gravitas, but it still presents the conflict in a very pro-US (and allies) way, and you are still playing a war ... game.

By the standards of most war games, it seems very much anti-war.

EittilDratsab:
Overall, in my opinion, CoD4 is simply an above-average shooter with well coordinated scripted sequences.

The thing about above average is that... well, it's above. The average. Which means it was probably fun. There seems to be some sort of gamespeak connotation whereby considering a game anything less than God's Divine Revelation to His Gamers means one is saying it sucked balls. Hence, on the numbered review sites, people referring to a game which has received 7 or an 8 as being utterly pissed on.

It's not like he's saying, "Oh yeah, Gigli was a GREAT movie!" or something like that. He's saying he actually had fun playing this game, and while it's a considerably more positive review than some of the other games it seems that he liked (Crysis springs to mind), all he seems to be saying is that it's.. above average, neither sucking horribly nor parting the red sea and singing us all to glory.

renard:
I see Godwin's Law effecting this thread briefly...

You know who else was an Extreme Patriot? HITLER!!! And I bet HE'D have reviewed the Multiplayer!!!

renard:
Now, please, let's return to the topic... don't turn this into another "MOH:airboner review"

By god, that was the single best review I've seen yet, and still makes me happy when I'm blue. Johannes Gasmask indeed!

(Though admittedly, the above is more an example of Reducto Ad Hitlerium than a true invocation of Godwin's law.)

Didn't you just have a Railshooter ?

I wonder why he neglected to mention it is agonisingly short? Play it on easy and you are done in like 3 hours. (i did that to find all the laptops without dying all the time - i dont want endless respwns while i am searching). On hard, the difficulty fluctuates as bad as Halo 3 (which yahtzee bithced about in the Halo 3 review). Some sequences are easy and some as so hard you want to cry. Neglected to mention the multiplayer which is a pity as it is the most impressive in recent memory (screw you Halo3) - but i understand why he did that. single player is the point multiplayer is a nice extra. Otherwise i think he is right on the money - the single player for all its flaws is excellent. Not Bioshock but it doesn't want to be so thats ok. Oh and is it just me or have sex jokes increased of late?

OK OK, before i start my rant focused on Conservatives, PATRIOTS, and rednecks alike i want everyone to read this post.

liberalfascism ,,lmao libaral fascism, how about youre a conservative a**h*le:
How surprising that Yahtzee not only imbues this review with his cookie-cutter political diatribe, but also finds the most impressive part of the game to be - shock! - the worst part.

What is his favorite part? The part that has no gameplay! The part that is such a ridiculous, ham-handed, pointless waste of gamer time in the service of pushing a moronic 'message'. We're talking of course about the idiotic 30-second stumble around dying scene, which Zero claims 'made the game good'. How does not being able to do anything make a game good? That was easily the most ridiculous part of this game - talk about hitting someone over the head with a message. Calling this the best part of the game is about as reasonable as complaining about 'jingoism' in a military shooter.

The rest of his review is just his stereotypical insecure America-hating nonsense. The US Marines don't "cock everything up", they actually carry out most of the fight, which is a reflection of reality. And the British don't "fix everything from behind", they engage in sapper missions and clear some paths but otherwise are just doing soldier work like everybody else.

Makes you wonder what plane of reality this guy lives in. Doesn't matter what he plays, he has this preset 'jingoism bad America suck I'm so cynical and cool' mantra that he has to repeat, even when the game doesn't have anything to trigger that tired little rant.

keep in mind that I'm an IT graduate and a white "liberal" born and raised american lol. read on.

funny i know but on with my little rant. the main problem i have with the average american is how close minded you are living in your so called perfect world blaming everything from terrorism to global warming on everyone but yourselves. You know nothing of the outside world and the main problem for that is, YOU DONT CARE, Ive seen this topic come up in conversations with my friends, teachers, parents, parish members. you dont care what happens to anyone, but what you dont know is that america is like the britney spears of the world, they laugh and make fun of everything you do and secretly think you either have a mental disorder or have down syndrome. In terms of national security,, BAHAHHAHAHAHA, you practically act like a bullied kid who found a gun in his parents closet (this can be applied to everything from 9/11 to the "threat" of Iran building a nuclear power plant). you hate/and are afraid of everything that doesnt benefit america in some way which i personally think is rather pathetic.

Goddamn i can go on all day but The fact is, his review was spot on in terms of how america cocks everything and the last moments of the game made me sick to my stomach cause it was just downright ridiculous. i doubt the british would ever risk their "top men" to go in the heart of a gigantic country and infiltrate a nuclear facility so it wouldnt launch 3 warheads. THE FACT IS, we have submarines all around the pacific and atlantic ocean with ANTI BALLISTIC MISSILE CAPABILITIES. so what this means is, even if some russian(or korean, arab, whoever) dumbass launches a missle wed be able to stop it lol. the scene where you play as the dying american that crawled out of the crashed helicopter does have meaning. its suppose to be one of those, OH SHIT moments, where you go, OH ITS ON NOW MOTHER*****. overall its a great game but its very misleading and there are no facts that support even the slightest possibility of any of this ever happening.

loved the portal-christ reference
PORTAL FTW, not that i dont like cod4 its a generic shooter at best.
why? there was a fence in one level that i couldnt climb but i could climb the other fence when
the message came(press spacebar 2 climb)
ITS A BLOODY FENCE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD !

Woo he finally reviewed something I'm interested in playing! Now we need to all baa at him to pick up online gaming in the XBL arena.

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