Zero Punctuation: Alone in the Dark

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good review, i found it quite funny.

Sweet review.

Good review, but the music is going to get on my fucking tits soon enough if you don't at least add two other tracks. And for god's sake please don't ever think of looping it through the video.

EDIT: Oh god. I've said it now.

one of my favorites
gary and gonad,do i smell a running gag or what???

I loved the whole dead dog dinner thing, but you never know you may get a nice ice cream for desert. Now you will always wonder.

I think the new title sequence and music lifts the presentation of the review above that of shitty movie maker. The content is, as always, great.

Funny, but missing that wonderful choice of ironic music...

THANK YOU, I'm glad someone worked out the perfect word for the music, because I couldn't! "Ironic" summed it up beautifully.

In short, no I still don't like it. To answer your, um, statement on FR, if you had original music from the start you're right, we wouldn't be complaining. But if Silent Hill 2 had never existed would you be still banging on about it's story? How can you miss something that never existed?

Review's great though, by the way!

I enjoyed the review and I think "Terry and Gonad" explain very well what has been going on in gaming.

Perticular Elk:
Yes,yes. It was a very funny review, but does anyone actually own or play AITD. I really, really tried to like the game. I feel people trying to crucify the game for being different and it could have been great save for a few errors. I enjoyed its innovations and its puzzles and it is definitely not the worst game ever!

Good ideas and crappy execution still equals crappy game. Yes, new ideas should be encouraged instead of just having the EA model (same game with another box) but the fact Atari threatened game magazines here for their not-so-pleasant reviews kind off kicks the last bit of good will out of the windows.

Terry and Gonad are genius! I'm going to have 2 use them to describe ever gaming cock-up from now on. Cheers Yahtzee

P.S. I know you probley won't read this and won't care either, but the title musics still shit.

Yahtzee has recovererd his hilarious thoughts, but i don't get the video after the credits.
An why is he sayng his gay all the time is this a confession...... then the british rumors were true XD.

This was a very good review, one of the best i think.

This game looked quite good, however it clearly isnt.

It's unfortunate this game come off so poorly. The previews of the inventory system and kickass fire effects held much promise, as did the DIY arsenal. My hopes are for a platinum edition, which has been properly bughunted with some of the bullshit shaved off. If the mechanics had been better implemented, then this might have been a winner.

Great review as per usual, Yahtzee! Love the alliteration! Special thanks on my behalf from Team Retard for giving captions for the already hilarious review of Indiana Jones 4: the Cashgrab of Ford.

oh, and if people don't like the new credits: screw 'em! It's Yahtzee's show: he can do whatever (and whoever) he wants!

I met the three reviews before this one with a resounding "meh" but this one was a rather nice return to form. Not the best he has ever done, but it had its resoundingly funny moments (Terry and Gonad spring to mind).

So good job this week, and I pray this vein of comedy continues sir.

Oh that was funny indeed. I must admit that I have not been laughing that much with yahtzee lately, but this one just got me haha.

Driving over a piece of paper into oblivion, good work gonad.

I guess I am the only one where the thing keeps freezing. I have tried to watch it 10 times and have gotten about a minute into it before it freezes. And I hate the music and having to hear it 10 times does not make it better.

The theme seems to work a bit better this week if you ask me. Maybe its more appropriate when Yahtzee is strongly criticising a game that actually takes itself seriously. Maybe lego Indiana Jones was a bad launch pad for the new "heavy" theme, but either way it felt better this week. Maybe it just will take time, or every time Yahtzee reviews a light hearted game it will feel awkward, who knows Highlander?

And by the way, I got the strange impression by Yahtzees description of the "satan cocks erupting from the ground at multiple locations" that they seemed an awful lot like Oblivions fucking diabolical Oblivion gates. Unless its the developers specific intent to mimic the "hellish" theme they are including by actually tormenting the gamer with shit gameplay like that, I cant think of another sane reason as to why they would include it.

For some reason, I'll always love Yahtzee at his most vitriolic, although I actually like reviews that are even-handed, for sheer spectacle, nothing beats an English/Australian Verbally Fluent Sociopath chasing a deserving victim down a dingy passageway, brandishing the rusty, gore-crusted chainsaw of brutal wit and proceeding to do a little impromptu organ-harvesting for the benefit of us, the lazy, organ-needing public.

I may have pushed that metaphor a bit too far, there.

As an idea, when I heard of Along in the Dark (whatever year), after recovering from my flashback of the utter clusterfuck which was the first game, and my introduction to the genre of survival horror, I shared similar sentiments to those expressed - great ideas, but they'd need some major pulling off to avoid the inevitable faceplant of pretentiousness which it so clearly did.

Good job I'm holding out with my well-earned cash for Saints Row II.

Stop looking at me like that. I liked it.

Good review, funny. About the end of the video, where he adresses "People who complained about Holocaust jokes...", I would like to ask, Who the hell complained about the Holocaust jokes?

I mean, first of all the jokes weren't even serious, atall, I regularly hear far worse. And, Yahtzee is right (when isnt he?), I would think that going on 70 years is enough time to make fun of just about anything. What insecure idiot saw those jokes and thought to complain about them? I bet they weren't even Jewish.

And before somehow taking offense at anything I said keep in mind that I am Jewish so i can say whatever I want on the subject.

And I still miss the music.

I liked it I was worried ab yahtzee but he has put my fears to rest and the title sequence has grown on me.

Please keep using Terry and Gonad as characters.

lol i dont know if he read my last comment but i ask him what he was doing at the end lol
i wonder if he was telling me me at the end of this one? hmmmmm...

I was hoping he would review Alone in the Dark next, but I knew requesting it was probably futile, and would make him hate me. As usual he hits the nail on the head. Some of the game is brilliant, but you have to wade through hip deep shit to find it, and eventually you'll give up to go play something that's fun.

Very nicely done, Yahtzee!

Good and funny review, as always. A friend of mines see this game as a well done game, so im going to borrow it from him whenever i get the chance and play it for myself.

It's still got that shit intro though.

Liked the review, but it's just not Yahtzee without some input of clever music.

It's like listening to A Brief History of Time by Victoria Beckham.

Down with that sort of thing!

I'm with yahtzee in the "not willing to revive a pain in the arse secondary character"

Funny as always but lacking the offensive joke this week
Some complained about the holocaust joke? Riiight

Can you please load these videos onto a server that doesn't get overloaded so easy? Seems like each wednsday that comes around I try all day to get the full video to load and it keeps timing out 2 min or less. I hit reload to try again and the same thing happens. All Day. And the last weeks episode happened several times on a Thursday...

So load it somewhere else, I know you want to drive traffic to your site and all but you've got all you can handle, either upgrade or hand it off to another site.

Update: Hmm, so the video loaded on the 4th try on a Wednsday so perhaps I judged too hastilly.

Good review I guess. Hard to enjoy it when I have to watch it 4 times to get the whole experience though...

Oh how I have been waiting for this. I hated this game with a burning passion and I didn't even get as far as the Satanic tree stumps (after reading about them in another review I figured I was wise to have traded this stupid game in after only about a week.) It didn't help that I got burned bad by it, I decided to reserve it at the local GAEMPLACE because you got ten bucks off the price if you did (which should have been a warning sign but I'm apparently retarded) and I figured it'd be a decent, mildly entertaining game that would tide me over til Fable 2. I also have only ever played the original 1992 Alone in the Dark and somehow thought that's what I was in store for only with more fire and next-gen graphics. Now it's left me swearing not to buy anything else until Fable 2 comes out. Thanks AitD!

But I do have to agree there was so much potential for awesome in the game and it just somehow ended up so inexplicably bad, even when what I was doing seemed like it should have been fun.

Very good review, much better than last week's

i loved the " terrible execution" pic

i think yahtzee is at his best when reviewing an FPS

Wow, I read a preview for this game a while back and thought it looked mildly interesting, looks like they kinda dropped the ball in development though, what a shame.

Brillant review - saw a tech-demo for this once and thought it looked good, but fortunately I found out it was a gold-medal poo-poo olympics winner.

Burny physics, cool. Everything else, pants.
Nicely summarised, good review as always Yahtzee.

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