Bent By Beckham


Regular followers of our ongoing adventures in the Lounge and on the forums know about my last experience with Football Manager 07’s demo. This weekend, I felt the call again, and loaded up my savegame to continue trying to dominate the EPL. Things were going splendidly. I put an attacking offense in place, which I unofficially called The Flying Circus, and basically threw all my midfielders and forwards into attacking the other side’s goal. This put a lot of pressure on my goalkeeper, who was not the greatest, but we were doing okay, putting up a decent record. Thus, it was with great terror in my heart that I saw Manchester United signed David Beckham.

For the uninitiated, this is what I was going up against. (In fact, that’s pretty much a replay of the game that I had to play shortly after they signed him. I was not completely stupid. I put everyone back into their proper places, even playing conservative by our usual high-flying circus standards. But I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, one that was only cemented when Becks’ little icon launched one from about the middle of the field. This should’ve been an impossible shot, or at least highly unlikely. My hapless defenders watched it soar over their heads, with a puzzled expression. My keeper flailed helplessly. “Manchester United scores!!!” Again. And again. And again.

This was on a team that already stocked with players like those helpfully mentioned in the post at the bottom of this thread. A few months ago, I didn’t know who half these people were, and now they’re kicking my poor team all over the field and making me swear like a sailor. To say we were soundly thrashed is to give us too much credit, and I had to take a 3 day “holiday” (which, I believe, is British for “holding myself and crying in my room”) once the game was done to get my head together. We did finish the season in a good spot, 5th, but then I got to watch Man. U. sign all the good free agents while I pleaded with my board of directors to let me sign anybody, which left me shaking my fist at my LCD while shouting “Next time, Manchester, neeeeeeeexxxxxxxt timmmmmmmmmmme!” in my best Dr. Claw voice.

So, is this why they call it The Beautiful Game?

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