The Reapers are here, and so is the full length Mass Effect 3 “Take Earth Back” cinematic extendo-trailer!

You don’t have to be Kreskin to figure out that the Reapers aren’t just popping over to see how we’re doing after all that nastiness with the Turians a few years back. They’re here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and they’re all outta bubblegum! (Fortunately the supply of little girls playing in the grass seems pretty solid.)

Also fortunate is the presence of Commander Shepard, the intrepid gunslinger from outer space. He’s on the scene and boy oh boy, he’s not happy! Luckily for the future of humanity, he brought along more than just his lady friend; he’s also got a couple armored regiments, a fleet of air support and a whole bunch of mean-lookin’ dudes just spoiling for a fight. And then the Mancubus shows up! And the Commander leaps into everyone’s line of fire, so he can clean house with the most awesome Superman punch ever! Because this is personal, baby!

Okay, yes, the trailer was a little over-the-top for my tastes, but I suppose that when you get down to it, the destruction of the Earth is pretty serious business. All jokes aside, there aren’t many games I’m looking forward to more than this one. Mass Effect 3 comes out on March 6 for the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC.

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