Just in time for gamers who want to get a head start on planning their vacation to Kirkwall, the Dragon Age 2 achievements have been revealed.

Ah, cheevos. The great scoreboard of life. A way to prove to the world that you’re willing to jump through whatever ridiculous hoops a developer puts in front of you, just so you can have a little digital badge sitting next to your name. And, sometimes, a way to discover a few secrets about a game that you might never otherwise know.

Or, depending on your perspective, a way to be spoiled about what lies ahead. Either way, consider yourself warned that at least a few of the recently-revealed Dragon Age 2 achievements will tell you things that you might not want to know if you enjoy surprises while you play. I now know, for instance, that players are going to have at least one encounter with one dude that I’m not going to blow for you here, but whoa. Whoa! Big stuff indeed!

Most of them, of course, are fairly dull, standard fare, the sort of cheevos you pick up along the way just by playing the thing: upgrade your armor, enchant an item, reach level 10, kill Morrigan’s demon-child… whoops, did I say that out loud?

(I’m just kidding. There’s no mention of Morrigan or her hypothetical offpspring. Calm down.)

50 achievements, 1000 points, and you can see them all (except the five secrets) at Just don’t blame me if you spoil yourself silly.

Dragon Age 2 comes out on March 8 for the PC, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360.

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