This week, the news team fights prostate cancer and wild animals.

Welcome, boys and girls, to our third Movember update. As you sit in your warm homes, enjoying some hot chocolate and the holiday decorations that are springing up all over the place, we here at The Escapist have decided to brave the cold, getting in touch with Mother Nature and her fuzzy children. All in the name of fighting prostate cancer. Oh, and looking manly.

If you’ve missed the other posts about the news team’s involvement with Movember, gather round the fire and I’ll tell you the story.

Movember takes place during that magical time between the end of Fall and the beginning of Winter. During this manliest of months, people from all over the Web gather together to take a stand against prostate cancer, which only affects men. How do you take a stand against prostate cancer and look manly, you ask? By growing (or making) manly mustaches and raising money to help search for a cure. All of The Escapist’s news team have taken to the challenge, including the Fearless News Maidens who let us hang out with them.

This week, all of us decided to take a note from the Guy On A Buffalo, who is so manly that he rides a buffalo, fights bears and battles cougars in his free time. To the news team, The Guy epitomizes what it is to be manly. So, sporting our mustaches, we all ventured out into nature to find our own animals to tame. Spoiler alert: Our efforts met with mixed results.

We were able to recover an image of Team Captain Logan Westbrook being menaced by something furry, but his current location and status are unknown. Martial Arts Master Marshall Honorof, meanwhile, managed to capture a baby bear and is holding it hostage until he receives a ransom of porridge. Loyal Intern Paul Goodman found a tiger and is now eating well. Keeper of Film Secrets Mike Kayatta has reported that he was mugged by an anime-obsessed puppy (it apparently suckered him with its enormous eyes).

Sergeant-at-Arms Heather McLellan, having grown tired of lassoing Scottish steers, was able to use her talents to blend in with the local wildlife; the animals have elected her as their leader. Fearless Leader Susan Arendt, disguised as an Escapist Imp, is now studying dual axe-wielding techniques from her new four-legged friend.

Unfortunately, I (sporting a mighty mustache and mutton chops) never made it out of my apartment. My roommate Winston The Penguin called some of his friends and … well, look, I don’t want to talk about it. All I have to say is that penguins fight dirty, even if they’re wearing bow ties.

Thus concludes this week’s Manly Update. When you’ve got a moment, head on over to the news team’s official Movember page and show your support: You can donate to the cause, offer us encouragement, or just show our collective sexiness off to all your friends and families.

Tune in next week for another round of manly updates, as well as news about whether or not Logan survived his beastly encounter (Winston’s got dibs on his stuff if he didn’t).

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