Electronic Arts has announced that APB, the crime-themed MMOG from Realtime Worlds, won’t be released in Australia, but for once government censorship isn’t to blame.

APB: All Points Bulletin is scheduled to be released on June 29 in North America, July 1 in Europe and July 2 in the U.K. Australia? Try never. Yes, it’s sad, but it’s also a situation that should be familiar to our brothers and sisters Down Under, except that this time the Classification Board has nothing to do with it.

The hangup is entirely technological. APB features a lot of shooter-like action and thus a low ping is far more important than in most MMOGs. That means local servers are a must for decent gameplay, but Realtime Worlds apparently has no interest in running servers in Australia. Since EA is only handling distribution of the game through the EA Partners program, it has no say in the matter and has thus decided to simply not release the game there.

As Kotaku Australia points out, determined Aussie gamers could import a copy from the U.S., set up an account with a U.S. credit card and try to play on a U.S. server, but if it doesn’t work out – and it probably won’t – then it’s tough noogies for you. Can’t really complain to customer service about that. Perhaps an internet petition would be in order?

Poor Australia. It’s like Fate herself has it in for you.

Thanks to Labyrinth for the tip.

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