Microsoft is cracking down on “racy” Windows Phone apps.

You know what’s great about Android? Porn. It’s a nice enough mobile OS and all that but what it really comes down to is that I like knowing that no matter where I am, a veritable cornucopia of ladies willing to show me their naughty bits is only a couple of screen taps away. You can’t get that from an iPhone, and Microsoft wants you to know that it’s not happening on Windows Phones, either.

“Our content policies are clearly spelled out: we don’t allow apps containing ‘sexually suggestive or provocative’ images or content,” Todd Brix, the senior director of the Windows Phone Market, wrote on the Windows Phone Developer Blog.

“We take this responsibility seriously and evaluate and discuss questionable cases. Recently we decided that we could improve the shopping experience for all our customers by a more stringent interpretation and enforcement of our existing content policy,” he continued. “Specifically, we will be paying more attention to the icons, titles, and content of these apps and expect them to be more subtle and modest in the imagery and terms used. Apps that don’t fit our standard will need to be updated to remain in the store. This is about presenting the right content to the right customer and ensuring that apps meet our standards. We will also monitor customer reaction to apps and reserve the right to remove ones that our customers find offensive.”

Brix acknowledged that the harder line might require some extra work by “a small number of developers,” but offered a few ideas for “creative and appropriate” ways to keep it inside the lines and even provided four examples of acceptable app tiles. Microsoft will be contacting affected developers over the next few days to detail the changes they need to make, he added, so anyone who doesn’t hear from Microsoft is safe – for now.

According to comScore, Microsoft currently holds 3.9 percent of the smartphone market, well behind the struggling RIM but still ahead of Symbian, whatever the hell that is. You may proceed to make whatever jokes you feel appropriate.

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