The first thing on this escaped convict’s mind is to make himself as known as possible through Facebook, even while he’s evading police.
If I was to ever escape from this prison that I write news from, my primary goal would be to stay off the grid until I could prove that I was framed in that marshmallow incident years ago. To the contrary, staying off the grid is exactly what escaped convict Craig “Lazie” Lynch is not doing. He was able to elude his captors at Hollesley Bay, an open prison near Suffolk in eastern England, back in September, and has been constantly updating his Facebook page ever since.
As with anything like this, there’s the possibility that it’s a fake, but this seems unlikely. What’s more likely is that Lynch really is this dumb. According to BBC News, the 28-year old idiot was serving 7 years in prison for aggravated burglary and was in an open prison because he was near the end of his sentence, where day release was allowed. Day release doesn’t seem like such a great idea in this case.
Lynch’s updates range from completely moronic to somewhat foolish, including the recent “I’M NOT ANTI POLICE, I JUST HATE THE C*NTS.” What a charming young man. Even Lynch feels that “Myspace is lame…” (the only reasonable thing he’s posted) and he says he’s still “Trying to figure out my plans for New Years. I know what I want to do but its not that easy.” How about going back to jail and finishing your sentence you dope?
Humanity has again failed in this case, with some people actually supporting Lynch’s escapades by wishing him luck and such. As of this writing, his Facebook page had over 27,000 fans. I think I want to cry.
Police are working with Facebook to see if they can pinpoint where Lynch is located, but it isn’t getting any easier now that he knows they’re on to him. What most likely will happen is that someone will recognize Lynch through Facebook as this story makes its rounds, which would be awesome. If you know Lynch, contact Suffolk police and get this irrelevant doofus put back where he belongs. I really hate this guy.