The Ryse: Son of Rome launch trailer is here! Are you not entertained?

Hey, have you checked the gate lately? I think I hear something outside. It sounds like… barbarians! No, wait, never mind, it’s just minotaurs. And oliphaunts! Boy, that’s not good.

As silly as it is, the Ryse: Son of Rome launch trailer does have a few redeeming attributes. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a man reach between another man’s legs and then stab him through the back. There’s a dude at the 50 second mark who sounds a lot like Sean Bean, and we all know that Sean Bean only appears in triple-A quality stuff. Somebody named Commodus is involved, and where Commodus goes, glorious scenery-chewing is bound to follow.

If Ryse: Son of Rome was a movie I’d probably watch it – I’m down with the stabbing and the chopping and the hey hey hey, this really hurts – but as a game, I think I’d like to see a little more actual “game,” rather than the admittedly impressive cinematic teasers Microsoft and Crytek have been throwing around.

Ryse: Son of Rome is an Xbox One launch title and, as such, comes out on November 22.

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