What better way to celebrate the holidays than with a new trailer for Serious Sam 3: BFE that can only be described as TOTALLY METAL?

Santa suits, 16-player co-op and gore as far as the eye can see; it’s like something out of a Charles Dickens novel. There’s a part of me that wants to decry this entire trailer as blasphemous to the birth of the Christ-child, but that part is stupid. Let’s not listen to that jerk.

Instead, let’s revel in the chaotic bloodshed — and more specifically, let’s applaud the Serious Sam 3 development team on deftly walking the line between clever satire and eye-rolling juvenilia. If this were a trailer for Duke Nukem Forever there’d be crass sexual euphemisms revolving around a fat man squeezing down a chimney, but the clever folk at Croteam know that we gamers are an erudite lot, unimpressed by childish sexual humor. Instead, they realize that what we truly want to find under the tree this (and every) year is cathartic destruction, with just a hint of overt machismo. Glib confidence, not blatant chauvinism.

Also, mad propers for whoever timed the detonations in that clip to coincide with the percussion in the accompanying hard rock soundtrack. That’s old world craftsmanship, and you rarely see that kind of attention to detail these days.

“Nex, are you just pimping Serious Sam 3: BFE because it’s awesome and we should all rush out and buy a copy right this very minute?”

Yes boys and girls, I am. Because I love you all and want you to be happy. There, I said it. Now if any of you ever mention this to anyone, I will murder you in your sleep.

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