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Serious Sam Voice Actor Offers Seriously Cheap Voice Acting

This article is over 15 years old and may contain outdated information

Need some voice acting on the cheap? The man behind the gravelly tones of Serious Sam is offering to put his voice to any text you want and he’ll do it for just a buck a word.

John J. Dick has a problem. He’s got a lot of bills to pay. It turns out that being a world-famous videogame voice actor (with a side gig as a Dallas strip club DJ) doesn’t pay quite as well as you might think. He’s buried in debt, he’s desperate and he’s ready to make a deal. A deal for “super budget discount voice acting!”

It works like this: For one dollar per word, Dick will put his voice to whatever you want. Just send him the text and he’ll send you a recording. He’s even willing to negotiate the price, if $1 per word is somehow too expensive for you. Best of all, his “cheap-ass voice acting” is available to anyone.

But act quickly, because this is a time-limited offer. “I’m only willing to whore myself out at these discount rates until I dig myself out of debt,” Dick wrote on his blog at violencemedia.com. “This service is not only limited to game designers, movie producers and content creators. I would also love to help you set up a kick ass voicemail message, or maybe add some snappy dialogue to your home movies. Hell, maybe even a tranquil subliminal message to play while you sleep. Sky’s the limit.”

The only restriction, he said, is that he reserves the right not to “do” the Serious Sam persona. “Croteam and the Serious Sam franchise have been very good to me,” he wrote. “I’m not going to do anything that would compromise my relationship with them.”

Professional voice acting at a buck a word and a chance to help out the guy who gave a voice to Serious Sam? How can you go wrong?

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