The Week in Review – Portals, Pirates and Paladins

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On this week’s edition, we’re perplexed by puzzling portals and pirates find it tough to find dates.

Columbia Unmasks Spider-Man


Who is it under Spider-Man’s mask? Well, in the upcoming movie reboot it’s going to be British actor Andrew Garfield. Garfield will play a young Peter Parker who is still in high school, and must deal with the classes and homework as well as his new found arachnid powers. We’ve got a while to see how he does though, as the movie won’t be out until 2012. (link)

The Puzzling Parts of Portal 2


You loved Portal, right? Of course you did, everyone did. (Apologies if you did not) There’s not a lot that’s more fun than racing along Propulsion Gel, getting catapulted into the air by a Aerial Faith Plate and landing in an Excursion Funnel which carries you to the door. What’s that, you don’t remember any of those things? Oh, silly me, that’s because I’m talking about Portal 2. Whoops, sorry. Hit the link to see what I’m talking about. (link)

Exhibit A: A Level 76 Paladin


What happens online, stays online, right? Wrong, because online evidence is increasingly being used in divorce courts. Normally it’s inappropriate Facebook content that makes its way to the stand, but if you spend too much time gaming, that can hurt you as well. Get your priorities mixed up and that rare drop could end up costing you more than just an evening of raiding. (link)

“Mean Mickey” Nixed From Game


If you were looking forward to being a villainous Mickey Mouse, complete with a mean look, then sadly, you’re out of luck. While upcoming Wii title Epic Mickey will still allow you to be a meaner Mickey than usual, the “snarling rat” image was removed after focus testers responded badly. “We’re not going to change Mickey’s image so much,” said developer Warren Spector. “People don’t like it when you mess with Mickey.” (link)

Sim Girls Won’t Give Lovin’ to Pirates


LovePlus+ has a simple goal, romance a young lady until the two of you, y’know, get physical. That simple goal is made a lot more difficult however, if you decided that you’re going to pirate the game; so difficult in fact, that it’s outright impossible. The DRM in LovePlus+ means that pirates will never see their affections returned, a system which is simultaneously devious, ingenious and hilarious. (link)

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