There are a lot of bad companies out there these days. Companies that are unethical, companies that treat their employees like garbage, and companies that just have a terrible reputation. It’s why we have things like the Worst Company in America award. But we at The Escapist have seen so many shitty companies rise up lately that we couldn’t limit our “worst company” award to just one or two companies, within the United States. So, we’ve made a list of the ten worst companies in the world to work for, ranked from fairly terrible to soul-crushingly horrific:
I don’t know about you guys, but something about pushing fallout shelters on so many people seems shady. Like, maybe they know something that we don’t? Also, the criteria for some of these vaults is really… odd. For example, I’ve heard one vault is specifically for “drug rehabilitation,” and requires you to be a drug addict to sign up. What the fuck guys? Why would drug addicts be given a spot over functional, law-abiding citizens? I thought these things were supposed to be for “rebuilding society” if the bombs are ever dropped?
So Team Rocket are supposed to be this super rich, super established team of elite Pokemon trainers. They are always hiding in the shadows, pulling the strings behind a lot of the stuff that happens in the world. So why the heck do all the Team Rocket guys patrolling my area only have Rattata’s and Zubats? Surely the higher-ups could get some better Pokemon for their guys? I saw a kid with a Charmander take on like a dozen of them, and they even gave him money when he won!
We all know that Dr. Jonas Venture was one of the greatest scientific minds of our time, but to be honest, his son “Rusty,” kind of lacks his old man’s spark. These days, Venture Industries only churns out lame scientific curiosities like the walking eye, and is seriously understaffed. Plus, I’ve heard some rumors that its safety protocols are not quite up to code, with a number of college students launching a class-action suit against the company due for horrific mutations suffered while undertaking an internship there.
You guys all knew this one was coming. Voted the worst company in America twice in a row, EA has taken some steps to clean up its act, but still isn’t one we would be super happy to work for.
Weyland-Yutani was founded back in 2099 with the merger of Weyland Corp and the Yutani Corporation. The top technology supplier for space-faring expeditions, Weyland-Yutani makes everything from spaceships, to computers, to synthetics. Yep, you heard right, they make synthetics, as in, those humanoid androids that have been rumored to go on killing sprees out in the depths of space. No thanks.
This is one company that may be cool to work for, but definitely not one to invest in. Run by billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne and his right-hand man, Lucius Fox, Wayne Enterprises is a black hole for money, with millions of dollars being funneled into Fox’s ludicrous R&D department, and none of his inventions actually seeing the light of day. Just where is all of that research money going?
Okay, I’m just going to go right out there and say it: Cave Johnson, Aperture Science CEO, is a fucking nutter. His “Enrichment Center” in Upper Michigan is the source of all kinds of outlandish stories, including a gun that can create “portals,” a conspiracy involving abducted astronauts and stolen moon rocks, and a crazy AI robot that has the brain scan of Johnson’s dead secretary. And let’s not even get started with that whole “bring your daughter to work” business.
Even without that whole ethical debate surrounding human augmentation, Sarif Industries is not a great place to work. Their chief-of-security is a monstrously augmented human weapon, who has been known to have a bit of an itchy trigger-finger on more than one occasion, and the company has caused enough controversy worldwide that its scientists have a big fat target painted on them, as evidenced by the mass kidnapping of Sarif Industries scientists in 2027. Plus you’ll have to deal with all of those Purity First wackos on an everyday basis.
Here’s another company with a crazy boss. “Handsome” Jack, as he calls himself (I wonder how handsome he actually is under that phony mask?) became the CEO of Hyperion following a very “hostile” takeover. The company started off a mere weapons manufacturer, but Jack has led it to become the self-proclaimed “dictator of Pandora”. It also makes me pretty uneasy that Hyperion is the sole manufacturer of “New-U” stations. What if it decides to up the cost of resurrection one day, and you don’t have enough in your bank account to afford it? At least it doesn’t make those annoying-ass clap-traps anymore…
Okay, we have come to the worst of the bunch: the absolute worst company in the world to work for. It had to be Umbrella Corp. First up, it locks all of its people up in underground research facilities, which have been known to simply disappear. Second, its “human weapon” experiments have ended in entire cities being wiped off the face of the planet multiple times in a row. The end of the world won’t come with nuclear annihilation, but with Umbrella Corp’s stupid t-virus. Why hasn’t the US government shut these clowns down yet?