“Unavoidable” Global Bacon Shortage Expected Next Year


Soon, it’s going to get even harder to bring home the bacon.

As News Manager for the The Escapist, I see a lot of stories pass my desk. And while it’s often my great pleasure to run daily news about upcoming games, wacky science, and general nerdery, there’s another side of the job that’s far less pleasant. Some days, there’s important news out there that isn’t just fun and games. Some days, there are serious, looming issues that fall to The Escapist to inform the public of, even when it pains us to be the messenger. Today is one of those days. I hereby regrettably inform you that next year, there will be less bacon in the world.

Things started going downhill for porkophiles earlier this year when long periods of drought conditions across Europe began decreasing monthly corn and soy yields. Now, with less feed to go around, pig farmers can’t afford to keep their four-legged bacon machines fed, leading to fewer pig herds composed of fewer pigs. And while all things pork seem especially bad in the EU, effects of these pig feed price fluctuations are already being felt around the world. The United States has already initiated a special pork-buying program to support the nation’s pig farmers, while China has begun stockpiling bacon in pork freezers in preparation for what the National Pig Association has already described as an “unavoidable world shortage of pork and bacon.”

In light of such glum news, I can’t help but imagine Earth 2013 as some sort of barren Tatooine, where culture has devolved into an agrarian society bent on the production of but one precious resource. And much like those desert farmers dream into the long night of far away Alderaan luxuries, so to shall we imagine a better world, where the basic human rights of bacon ice cream, bacon beef and baconnaise continue to live on as more than mere fantasy. May the Maker have mercy on us all.

Source: Chicago Tribune

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