What Should Have Happened to George Lucas


Everyone knows George Lucas was abducted in 1989, with an impostor taking his place to make horrible movies, right?

Are you ancient enough to remember the good ol’ days when Jedis were cool and Indiana Jones didn’t have that punk kid? When George Lucas made movies that were shot on location in fantastic locales instead of in his backyard on a green blanket? Perhaps not, but you at least have wondered why Lucas’ films have degraded in quality to the point that most nerds choose to forget they exist. Midi-chlorians? You shut yer fat face!

But a group of docmentarians known as Slick Gigolo has finally discovered the truth. The George Lucas that we see on TV, and who directed the Star Wars prequels and produced Indy 4 is not the real Lucas. The real Lucas has been kept in a cell for 20 years, but now he’s busted his way out Shawshank-style and is looking for one thing: revenge on the Sith-makers.

Man, I wish this was what really happened. If Lucas had to assemble a team to kick the asses of the people who screwed up his legacy, I totally would have picked Leia, Chewie, and Short Round myself, but what about Mad Mardigan? That guy from Willow is the greatest swordsman that ever lived.

Kudos to Slick Gigolo for making this short trailer, it really made my day. Best line: “I’m a businessman on a cell phone!” “Cellphone?”

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